Sep 8 2009Kim Kardashian's only talent and other news
- George Clooney actually looks pussy-whipped at the Venice Film Festival. I smell an impostor. Pull his beard off! [Lainey Gossip]
- Gavin Rossdale thinks leather pants are suitable attire for a tennis match. Then again, he sticks his penis in Gwen Stefani. Carry on. [Just Jared]
- Tyra Banks is apparently bald. [PopEater]
- Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend hangs out with Kevin Federline now. Which means he's either learning how to cash a support check at the liquor store or which sweatpants hold the most chicken wings. [Celebslam]
- Cameron Diaz and Seth Rogen film The Green Hornet. [PopSugar]
- Mischa Barton maintains a strict fitness regimen. With Big Macs. [The Blemish]
- Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are no longer having insane dancer sex that would break most mere mortal's bones. (Note: Talking about you people. Not me. Karina?) [Socialite Life]
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Aug 17 2009Tyra Banks joins a flash mob and other news
- Jesus Luz earns his paycheck at Madonna's 51st birthday dinner. [Splash News]
- Jessica Simpson is NOT replacing Paula Abdul. Is it because she can't read? That's discrimination! [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow used to be in on the jokes. Now she's the ass end. [Lainey Gossip]
- Tom Cruise's white sneakers: A revealing look. [Celebslam]
- Michael Vick is now blogging his apology. Jesus Christ. The man has to play for the shitass Eagles now. Hasn't he suffered enough? (Note: I'm being facetious. About the suffering enough part.) [Just Jared]
- Gwen Stefani is a recent mother of two yet I don't suspect her of hiding fried chicken in her purse. Just throwing that out there. [PopSugar]
- Mark Wahlberg's lungs are made of vaginas. [The Blemish]
Continue Reading "Tyra Banks joins a flash mob and other news"
Apr 3 2009Levi Johnston: 'Sarah Palin knew Bristol and I were having sex'
- Levi Johnston tells Tyra Banks Sarah Palin "probably knew" he was having sex with Bristol because they shared a room. Wow. Have you actually spent time with this woman? Because you'd know she thought you were just praying. Or loading an assault rifle. Either one. [Just Jared]
- Britney Spears' stop at a Dallas nightclub ends with employees being threatened if they talk to the press. Great, now we'll never know how many people her vagina killed. But I'm guessing eight. [Radar Online]
- Zach Braff and Dax Shepard are now virtually interchangeable. Who didn't see that coming? Including the blind. [Best Week Ever]
- Ben Affleck taught his daughter Violet how to swear in German. Yeah, well, Britney Spears lets her kids use the car to pick up smokes. Try again, Daredevil. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hugh Jackman's quasi-visible ass in Wolverine. Now I'm really excited to see this movie! I mean, a guy I know is. The, uh, Writerficial Super. Yeah, him. [Pink is the New Blog]
Mar 15 2009Tyra Banks causes a riot (Indirectly)
An America's Next Top Model audition went apeshit yesterday in Manhattan after a broken down car pulled up next to thousands of barricaded models prompting someone to yell "It's a bomb!" The ladies, all under 5' 7" per this cycle's guidelines, obviously panicked and made like they'd just been offered pizza, crushing everything in their path. NY Daily News reports:
By the time the model madness ended, six women were injured and two women and one man were busted for inciting a riot, authorities said.
"The girls were running like it was 9/11 part two," said Jennifer Brown, 27, of Kensington, Brooklyn. "I feared for my life."
"The metal barricade fell down," said Kiara McCarthy, 19, of Levittown, L.I. "All of a sudden we heard this roar from behind us and we looked behind us and there's a wave of people falling on top of us."
After surviving an apparently anorexic midget stampede, little Kiara now has a new lease on life. But not really:
"I'm 5-foot-3. There's no way I can make it into a model agency," McCarthy said. "They would turn me away at the door. We had an opportunity and it was taken away from us."
People almost died, including herself, and all she can think about is being on TV. I think we've found the new Miss America, folks - provided she grows a few inches. Hey, can't have the other countries thinking we're a nation of dwarves. That's just crazy talk.
Video after the jump.
Aug 14 2008Tyra Banks casts transgender contestant on America's Next Top Model
Hold on to your androgynous zones; the new season of America's Next Top Model just got a whole lot more penis-ier. Meet Isis (above) a transgender model who "identifies herself as 'a woman born physically male.'" She/He made the cut to be on Tyra Bank's completely scripted modeling competition and looks forward to pretending to have to a chance on this season's cycle, according to Us Weekly:
Will she be a role model?
"I like to help people, but I'm here to follow my dreams," she tells Us. The inclusion of Isis is being hailed by GLAAD president Neil Giuliano as "an unprecedented opportunity for a community that is underrepresented on television.
"We applaud Tyra Banks and The CW for making this historic visibility of transgender people possible," Giuliano said.
So, if she's a woman born physically male, does that mean she makes herself her own sandwiches? Otherwise, you lost me.
Apr 30 2008Tyra Banks gets her own holiday, you still have to work
Tyra Banks celebrates her 500th episode of The Tyra Banks Show today. She stopped by The View (video after the jump) to announce that Mayor Bloomberg has officially proclaimed today "The Tyra Banks Show Day." Sadly, it's not a national holiday and I should probably stop downing this champagne. But it's so bubbly! Anyway, while on The View, Tyra weighed in (Pun intended.) on the Miley Cyrus debacle:
"She is a 15-year-old, and I just wish everybody would leave her alone! It was just a little sexy."
Wow. Tyra Banks on The View discussing Miley Cyrus. It's almost like the producers over there want to beat us senseless with excitement. I'm pretty sure I have a black eye. No, wait, that's when I popped the cork on this champagne. *chugs* I like it when it tickles my nose who wants to go to the strip club and then we'll nachos with the car drive I'm okay. CAPTAIN KIRK!
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Apr 29 2008Heidi & Spencer love America and confirm Lauren Conrad made a sex tape
When they're not busy posing for horribly fake photo shoots (I call this one "America: Ain't We Retarded?"), Heidi and Spencer love to expose their Hills co-star Lauren Conrad as just as fake as they are. This morning, the couple dropped a bomb on Tyra (video after the jump) and confirmed that Lauren did, in fact, make a sex tape. Tyra asked Spencer if he actually watched it and he said he'd rather throw up making it the first time I actually agree with the douchenozzle. I'd rather watch a video of my vacuum cleaner humping my couch. I wonder what that would look like... *hunts for camcorder*
UPDATE: Okay, is it legal to marry a household appliance? Because, guys, I think I'm in love.
Continue Reading "Heidi & Spencer love America and confirm Lauren Conrad made a sex tape"
Apr 23 2008Tyra Banks, Ryan Seacrest eligible for Emmys
Good morning! There's nothing like waking up to a slap in the face by the fact that our country is barreling towards rampant retardation at friggin' lightspeed. The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (I'll assume formed by Mr. Wizard) has announced that reality TV hosts such as Tyra Banks (above) and Ryan Seacrest are now eligible for an Emmy. Whoopee! The AP reports:
The award recognizes that reality TV has become "an integral part of television and our culture," John Shaffner, chairman and CEO of the TV academy, said in a statement Tuesday announcing the new honor.
Besides Seacrest of "American Idol," Mandel of "Deal or No Deal" and Banks of "America's Next Top Model," other potential nominees identified by the academy include Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," Jeff Foxworthy of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" and Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris of "Dancing With the Stars."
If Jeff Foxworthy wins for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, then it's official; the terrorists have won. And I'm talking big time. Sort of like if the Harlem Globetrotters challenged Gary Coleman to a Slam Dunk Contest - but beforehand they tied his shoe laces together.
