Sep 15 2009Tori Spelling should stick to sweaters and other news
- Kanye West finally calls Taylor Swift to personally apologize and ask why the hell she doesn't read his blog. IT'S BETTER THAN THE INTERNET!!! [PopEater]
- Zac Efron or Robert Pattinson might be trolling Craigslist for a male Asian lover. Quick, someone get Jon Gosselin. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lady GaGa continues to fight crime by striking fear into the penises of criminals. [Just Jared]
- Kate Hudson looks about as thrilled to be at A-Rod's baseball game as Madonna at an exorcism. [PopSugar]
- Mickey Rourke has sex with models and they don't want people to know about it? The man was up for an Osc- oh, right, his face. [Celebslam]
- Stephanie Pratt literally begs to get into a VMA party only to have her credit card denied when she orders a bottle of champagne. Anyone else feel like they just heard the most heartwarming story of their life?[The Blemish]
- Megan Fox on Today. [ICYDK]
- La Toya Jackson is not what small children want to see when they're eating ice cream. "Mommy, this sundae tastes like nose." [Celebitchy]
Continue Reading "Tori Spelling should stick to sweaters and other news"
Sep 3 2009Olivia Wilde hawks perfume and other news
- Michael Jackson's funeral was today. I wonder what it was like when they found out his gravestone dispenses candy. Hmm... [PopEater]
- Salma Hayek flipped out last night at a restaurant when all the outdoor seating was taken even though she didn't have a reservation. Did any of this cause her breasts to shrink? No? Carry on. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Beckinsale is hot. I don't say that enough. [PopSugar]
- Janice Dickinson found a man willing to kiss her old, collagen lips without cash changing hands. [Celebslam]
- Ashlee Simpson talks about raising Pete Wentz's spawn on The Today Show. [Just Jared]
- Tori Spelling denies reports that Dean McDermott is only married to her for the money. Clearly it's for the sex. Because who doesn't enjoy banging a sickly, middle-aged woman with implants? And she even had kids. Score! [Socialite Life]
- Kelly Osbourne wants kids to stay off tattoos. Hey, doesn't she know educating kids is for commies? Oh, wait, that only counts if you're a black president. My bad. [ICYDK]
- Kim Cattrall is still a cougar. [Splash News]
- Cate Blanchett goes back to work after getting brained on stage by a co-star and pretty much makes Jeremy Piven look like a giant vagina. [Parade]
Continue Reading "Olivia Wilde hawks perfume and other news"
Jul 27 2009Candy Spelling rips Tori in open letter
Candy Spelling sent the following open letter to TMZ which essentially rips into Tori Spelling for using her reality show Tori & Dean Home Sweet Hollywood to instigate family drama for ratings:
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING
I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.
Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings. I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.
Cue music. Cue sideways glaces. Clue Lights.
I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.
A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.
Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that i would not be attending.
Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.
For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
What? No accusations about killing Aaron Spelling? You used to be cool, Candy. You've changed, man. You've changed.
Jul 22 2009Bar Refaeli in lingerie and other news
- Lindsay Lohan might appear on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here! Or as like to call it, Hollywood Squares... In the Jungle. [Celebslam]
- Tori Spelling co-hosted Today this morning because God wanted everyone to have a shitty Wednesday. No really. He Twittered me. [Lainey Gossip]
- The Taco Bell Chihuahua has passed on. Wait. Then who the fuck is Paris Hilton carrying around? Hey, everybody, stop covering Paris. It's not the Taco Bell dog! [PopEater]
- Sienna Miller does NOT like talking about Balthazar Getty. [Just Jared]
- LeBron James getting dunked on by a 20-year-old Xavier student. This is exactly why I tell people the X-Men shouldn't play basketball. But no one listens. [The Blemish]
- Leonardo DiCaprio is already done with Cameron Diaz. Hey, sometimes you have to try something once to know that it gives your penis night terrors. Words to live by. [PopSugar]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Bar After the Jump
Jun 18 2009Tori Spelling has gigantic nipples
Here's Tori Spelling experiencing a bikini FAIL while vacationing in Hawaii. I don't really know who would want to look at Tori's nipples, but then again I thought the same thing about Dolph Lundgren's penis and five billion of you proved me wrong. I'm starting to think the robot's aren't going to have to work hard at their apocalypse provided they shoot nudie pictures out of their ray guns. -- I just told them our weakness, didn't I? Sonofabitch.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that reminded me I need new saucer plates.
Jun 17 2009Tori Spelling in a bikini
Here's Tori Spelling on vacation with her husband Dean McDermott in Hawaii, and after looking at these, I'm convinced she not only killed Aaron Spelling, but continues to haunt him in the afterlife. However, on a brighter note, Tori clearly knew when to lay off the surgeries before turning into Tara Reid's anorexic twin. (As of this post.)
Scope Out (20) Pics of Tori After the Jump
Jun 8 2009Kendra Wilkinson still taking her clothes off
- Kendra Wilkinson shares behind-the-scenes photos from her new reality show. In case there's any confusion, they include large, fake breasts. [Kendra Wilkinson]
- Anne Hathaway must be like porn for dentists. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lindsay Lohan is "on the brink of self-destruction." For real this time. Maybe. [Celebslam]
- Mariah Carey has been stuffing her face. Meanwhile, Nick Cannon cries in a corner. Cold. Alone. Hungry. Still Nick Cannon. [The Blemish]
- Evan Rachel Wood is dating Shane West which has to feel like fucking an angel in a golden meadow after being with Marilyn Manson. [Just Jared]
- Candy Spelling skipped her granddaughter's first birthday party. So, what, did baby Stella kill Aaron Spelling too? Because that kid has shifty eyes. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Audrina Patridge's brother wanted her to wear a bikini for his birthday. That's messed up. I mean, seriously, has he seen her breasts? [PopSugar]
May 29 2009Jon and Kate Plus Child Labor Law Violations
- Jon and Kate Gosselin are being investigated by the Pa. Department of Labor for child labor violations. Wait, I'm actually from Pennsylvania and those tax dollars should be spent on something useful like, I dunno, allowing beer to be sold in supermarkets. Goddamn Quakers. [Just Jared]
- Tori Spelling's mom still claiming Tori is responsible for Aaron Spelling's death, and yet somehow, that didn't force a reconciliation between mother and daughter. Weird. [Lainey Gossip]
- Spencer Pratt loves Jesus and marijuana. Although medically speaking, the weed probably helps with the nausea from being around Heidi's "icky girl parts" all the time. [The Blemish]
- Phil Spector sentenced to 19 years in prison for murdering Lana Clarkson. That guy won't last a week. Without his wigs, I mean. I'm sure he'll bite a guard or something to denote dominance. [Jezebel]
- Angelina Jolie was injured during a stunt on the set of Salt this morning. Okay, where was Jennifer Aniston today? Or Anne Curry? Or Octo-Mom, Megan Fox, Evangeline Lilly, Jon Voight, Courtney Cox, Shiloh.... [ICYDK]
- Britney Spears still drinking Frappucinos and not wearing a bra. Like the sun rising in the east - but with nipples. [PopSugar]
