Nov 19 2009UPDATE: Tila Tequila loses her tiny naked shit (Added video)
Tila Tequila went on a deranged, naked rant this morning on Ustream which her attorney has since taken down claiming she's mentally ill from the incident with Shawne Merriman. TMZ reports:
Attorney Cyrus Nownejad tells TMZ he thinks the "domestic violence" incident with Shawne in September may have "pushed her over the edge."
Nownejad acknowledges something is seriously wrong with Tila and he's trying to figure out how to get her some help.
Tila just took down her Ustream, showing her dancing nude and talking crazy in front of the camera. She also went off on Shawne and his alleged drug use.
So, wait, Tila Tequila took her clothes off and said a bunch of crazy shit online for attention and this is her "pushed over the edge" by Shawne Merriman? The edge between what? Wednesday and Thursday? C'mon. Now if you'll excuse me I need to change the headline to "Tila Tequila: Still exactly the way you remember." For accuracy's sake.
UPDATE: So apparently one of the videos is still up. Embedded after the jump but it's pretty wonky considering it's currently being plastered all over the Internet. Huge thanks to Lizzy.
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Sep 11 2009Tila Tequila case dismissed, no charges for Shawn Merriman
San Diego Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis will not be filing charges against Shawne Merriman of the Chargers. He was placed under citizen's arrest by Tila Tequila after he allegedly choked her and refused to let her to leave his apartment Sunday. Apparently no one bought it.. ESPN reports:
Dumanis decided not to charge Merriman after her office spent three days reviewing reports from the San Diego County Sheriff's Department.
"After a thorough review of the investigation into the Sept. 6, 2009, incident at the Poway home of Shawne Merriman, our office has determined there is insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed," Dumanis said in a statement. "This case is now closed. No further comment will be made."
Naturally, Tila fired back via her lawyer who called the decision "reckless" and is threatening a civil suit, according to a statement issued to TMZ:
"Tila Tequila is the victim of a violent crime. The San Diego District attorney's decision not to press charges against Shawne Merriman for the battering of Tila Tequila demonstrates an unconscionable negligence in the discharging of their public duties. We strongly feel that justice has not been served in this matter.
Obviously, The San Diego Charger's NFL franchise brings millions of dollars in revenue to the city of San Diego, and it seems clear that other interests are being served by the DA's office than the upholding of the law. A young woman was violently beaten and choked, and the physical evidence is both overwhelming and disturbing. Tila's account of the events has remained consistent from the beginning, while Merriman's story has changed repeatedly.
Just because the DA has made this reckless decision doesn't mean that justice will not be served in this case. No one is above the law. Tila Tequila will immediately begin pursuing civil charges against Mr. Merriman and she will have her day in court."
Fortunately for Shawne Merriman, Tila can only file suit with the Lollipop Guild whose jurisdiction doesn't extend beyond GumDrop Mountain.
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Sep 11 2009Tila Tequila plot thickens (Now with more leprechaun naked time)
Seen here sporting bruises yesterday, San Diego's 10news.com has an alleged rundown of the Tila Tequila/Shawne Merriman incident and it's a tale rife with jilted hearts, threesomes and naked leprechauns. Enjoy:
The sources told Vara that witnesses at Merriman's home said the three-time Pro Bowl linebacker went to his bedroom with two women.
Sources said Tequila walked into the room and Merriman asked her to join them. However, the sources said Tequila reacted angrily and threatened to have sex with a member of Merriman's entourage.
According to sources, Tequila was intoxicated, and she got naked and attempted to leave the house.
Sources told Vara that Merriman, 25, tried to stop the 27-year-old Tequila, and that is when she called 911.
Tequila accused Merriman of choking and throwing her to the ground while she was trying to leave the house. Tequila signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing Merriman of battery and false imprisonment. Both are felonies.
Here's what I don't get: If Tila Tequila was running around stupid drunk trying to bang the entire room, which I'd bet money happened, why not just let her leave? Seriously, what the hell is she going to do that anyone will believe? "Hey, a nude Keebler elf Twittered in a pool of her own urine that Shawne Merriman's an asshole. Let's cancel his contract." C'mon.
Sep 10 2009Tila Tequila shows off her injuries
Tila Tequila let the paparazzi snap shots of her bruised arms and neck today which seem to prove that San Diego Charger Shawne Merriman did a little more than stop her from driving home drunk. This also explains why the DA's office brought her in this afternoon and are reviewing the case, according to TMZ. So unless Shawne can prove Tila's keys were hidden inside her leprechaun skin and he had to punch them out, he's probably looking at charges and the official title of "Just Another Bitch like Chris Brown."
In the meantime, Tila seems to be hinting on her Twitter page that her side of the story involves refusing Shawne's request to bang his buddies which led to the midget tossing. Classy.
NOTE: Even though Tila Tequila is a plastic leprechaun famewhore who could be lying out her ass, any Internet Tough Guys who comment "she had it coming" have miniature genitals.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Tila After the Jump
Sep 9 2009Tila Tequila punts Shawne Merriman's excuse (Football + Domestic Violence = COMEDY!)
Tila Tequila's lawyers have fired back at Shawne Merriman's claims that he didn't choke the miniature stripper but instead merely prevented her from driving home drunk. Presumably in a Hot Wheels car. TMZ reports:
Shawne Merriman and his advisors have decided that the best defense is a good offense, attacking Tila Tequila in the press with a lot of calculated spin to cover up his illegal and indefensible actions.
Fortunately, we as a society will not tolerate a 6'4", 270 pound all-pro NFL linebacker physically assaulting a young lady who is 4'11" and 93 pounds. It is never justifiable to brutally assault, choke, strike and imprison a woman.
Once the truth is fully revealed, Mr. Merriman's fantastic story of how he was trying to keep Ms. Tequila safe will be completely discredited.
No one, especially a woman, should ever have to endure what Mr. Merriman did to Tila Tequila.
Tila's claiming Shawne was 'roid raging. Shawne's claiming Tila was drunk. So somewhere in the middle is the truth. Or a magic unicorn that hands out condoms because Tila Tequila is an elf and likes to fuck a lot.
Sep 8 2009Tila Tequila citizen arrests abusive boyfriend
Tila Tequila placed her boyfriend Shawne Merriman under citizen's arrest early Sunday morning after he allegedly choked her and refused to let her leave his apartment, according to People:
Early Sunday morning, deputies were called to Merriman's residence in Poway, Calif., a town bordering the city of San Diego, where the reality star, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, claimed she was choked and restrained, according to a press release.
"[Nguyen] made a citizen's arrest," Sheriff's Lt. Gary Steadman tells PEOPLE.
Merriman was charged with battery and false imprisonment, according to the release. Steadman says the results of an investigation will be given to the district attorney's office, which will decide whether to charge the football star.
In a statement to FOX News, Shawne claims he was merely trying to prevent Tila from driving drunk which she says is impossible because she's allergic to alcohol. Except apparently for that night. Gawker reports:
Taking on Merriman's claims that she was drunk at the time of the incident, Tequila tweeted:
"I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila 'Tequila' cuz the irony. I can't drink."
As happens in the high-speed age of technology, it wasn't long until that story was called into question, what with the owner of the nightclub where it went down described Tequila as "visibly intoxicated."
Considering Shawne Merriman is a large individual and Tila Tequila sleeps in a box of matches, did the police find tweezers on the scene? Because, honestly, I don't how he could've done this. It'd be like trying to choke a LEGO figure. Except this one shoots green clovers and red balloons out of its face until you hand over the keys.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Tila After the Jump
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Jun 21 2009Tila Tequila values education
For some reason Tila Tequila was invited to VH1's Save the Music event at MyHouse Thursday night. Because when I think about the musical education of our nation's children, I think about a midget flashing her fake breasts at anyone within eyesight. -- Actually, I'm not joking, that's exactly what I think. It's a gift.
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Jun 3 2009Tila Tequila in a bikini
Here's Tila Tequila doing a leprechaun leap of joy on the beach of Casa Amara because, despite widespread Internet rumors, there's NOT a destined-to-get-implants fetus in her uterus. Hurray! Also, she went jet skiing which is a tad garish in this circumstance. Unless she's spraying old people wearing sailors' hats with champagne. Then by all means.
Scope Out (67) Shots of Tila in a Bikini at Tila's Hot Spot
