Aug 3 2009Ryan O'Neal hit on Tatum - at Farrah's funeral
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Ryan O'Neal admits to accidentally hitting on his own daughter Tatum while loading Farrah Fawcett's dead body on a hearse. I don't know whether to be disgusted or call this man Jesus:
"I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me," Ryan told me. "I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me--Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick."
"That's our relationship in a nutshell," Tatum said when I asked her about it. "You make of it what you will." She sighed. "It had been a few years since we'd seen each other, and he was always a ladies' man, a bon vivant."
.... This has to be like porn to Joe Simpson.
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Jun 3 2008Tatum O'Neal: 'My dog died so I bought crack'
Tatum O'Neal has changed her tune on why she bought crack cocaine which led to her arrest early Monday morning. Originally, she told officers she was researching a role, but now Tatum's come clean to the New York Post. It was her dog's fault:
"I lost my Scottish terrier, Lena," three weeks ago. "That seemed to set me off.
"She got old. She got cancer. She was the fabric of our family. We had to let her go to heaven. My daughter and I had to put her down. It was too horrible for words."
I think I speak for everybody when I say Tatum O'Neal should just stop talking and retire back to her home - deep in the heart of obscurity.
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Jun 2 2008Tatum O'Neal arrested for buying crack
Judging by the amount of e-mails I've received, a number of you actually know who Tatum O'Neal is. That's way more surprising than her getting busted for buying crack by the NYPD last night. CNN reports:
The 44-year-old actress, who penned a 2004 memoir about her long road to sobriety, was arrested around 7:30 p.m. on the Lower East Side of Manhattan after she was seen making a purchase from a drug dealer, police said.
Investigators charged her with criminal possession of a controlled substance, a misdemeanor. She is scheduled to be arraigned Monday.
If I'm ever arrested at 44 for buying crack, I want you guys to give me a high-five. Obviously, I've done shit with my life yet still "keep it real." Kudos, Tatum O'Neal, for getting back in that spotlight, girl. But only until Britney Spears decides she hates underwear again then it's back to whatever it is that you do. Oh, right; crack.
