Jan 24 2008Sly Stallone loves testosterone, loves it!
Sylvester Stallone denies ever using steroids but is all about human growth hormone. He used it to beef himself up to 209 pounds for his new Rambo movie. He goes on the record about HGH in the latest issue of Time, according to Page Six:
"HGH [human growth hormone] is nothing. Anyone who calls it a steroid is grossly misinformed," Stallone says in the issue out tomorrow. "Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older. Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years, it will be over the counter."
If you’ll excuse me, I need to build a time machine so I can roid out at CVS in the year 2018. I should be back after lunch to dominate your women. Tell them to dress sexy. Sort of like they’re auditioning for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels but more whoreish. If that’s even possible.
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Jan 18 2008Sylvester Stallone will shoot an arrow through your steak
Sylvester Stallone donated memorabilia to the Planet Hollywood in New York City last night. The items include a bow and arrow from Rambo, the fourth installment in the headband-wearing death machine’s franchise. I don’t know about you, but I would exclusively eat at any restaurant where Sly Stallone fired an explosive arrow through my food. Unless he accidentally shot my beer. In which case I’d demand satisfaction. Mainly seeing Rocky shoot my strawberry shortcake out of a bazooka.
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Jan 11 2008Janice Dickinson says Sly Stallone 'juiced' her
Janice Dickinson claims that she not only saw her ex Sylvester Stallone use steroids, but he used them on her. Janice was on FOX New’s Red Eye when she accused Rambo of using drugs. Page Six reports:
"He juiced me," Dickinson said. "I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye - steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], 'Hey, it's not that good 'cause you get really big, you know what I mean?' "
However, Janice Dickinson has been known to lie in the past about Rocky:
Dickinson and Stallone were briefly engaged in the early 1990s. The brunette found out she was pregnant and told the actor he was the father, but DNA tests proved that producer Michael Birnbaum was the daddy of her baby girl, Savannah. Stallone immediately dumped her.
I doubt Sly Stallone’s walking around injecting his girlfriends with steroids. “Hey, yo, baby, maybe you’re, uh, breasts shouldn’t be so big and, yo, I dunno, maybe you should grow a moustache, know what I mean?” Although, this does explain why Janice Dickinson looks like, well, Janice Dickinson.
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May 21 2007Sylvester Stallone fined for importing drugs
Sylvester Stallone was fined $2,500 and ordered to pay a court cost of $8,300 by an Australian court Monday for illegally bringing in 48 vials of human growth hormone which he claimed was prescribed to him to help boost his body while filming Rambo.
"This stuff gives your body a boost and you feel and look good," Stallone said in a customs interview. "Doing Rambo is hard work, and I am going to be in Burma for a while. Where do you think I am going to get this stuff in Burma?"
At least he admitted he's on something. Have you seen him recently? Nobody should look the way he does, let alone a 60-year-old. His face should be on public service announcements, with big bold letters saying: "If you look like this, it's time to see a doctor." Or, I dunno, a veterinarian.
