Oct 13 2009Suri Cruise is going to Catholic school?
Despite the lack of curriculum focusing on Xenu's many death rays, Katie Holmes has enrolled Suri in a Catholic school in Boston, according to the Daily Mail:
The family are living in the city while Tom, 47, films his new movie, the spy comedy thriller Wichita. Katie's mother also flew in for her granddaughter's first week at the pre-school. 'Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics,' I'm told.
'She is not convinced by Scientology and has told Tom that she wants Suri to be educated as a Catholic - as she was. They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly - but Tom came around to the idea in the end.'
Holmes, 30, has not been seen at the Church of Scientology for more than five months.
Why in the E-meter would Tom Cruise agree to send Suri to a Catholic scho- oh, wait, there's young boys in uniforms there. Case closed.
Oct 8 2009Alessandra Ambrosio makes me want to buy bras even though I have a penis and other news
- Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo are back together. [PopEater]
- Daniel Craig photobombs Taylor Swift. [Lainey Gossip]
- Shauna Sand wears clear stripper heels to the supermarket. Of course. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Suri Cruise drinks Pellegrino already? [Just Jared]
- Mariah Carey should just hire Blackwater. [Celebslam]
- Naomi Watts is somehow the "Most Bankable Actress in Hollywood." [PopSugar]
- Zac Efron hates his own movies. [Wonderwall]
- Penelope Cruz > Kim Kardashian. (In regards to asses.) [ICYDK]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Alessandra After the Jump
Jul 21 2009Leslie Mann premieres things and other news
- Tyler Perry is sending 65 inner-city kids to Disney Land after their day-care was kicked out of a country club pool for changing the "complexion" and "atmosphere" of the club. No jokes, just a hats off. [PopEater]
- Marc Anthony is now a partial owner of the Miami Dolphins. His first order of business? Training them to battle He-Man and Man-At-Arms for the fate of Eternia. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katy Perry vigorously tests each outfit for wardrobe malfunctions by jump roping before shows. -- She should probably use a spotter, so not only will I do it for free, but I'll record the whole thing on a secret camera in my belt buckle. I can start Monday. [Celebslam]
- Mischa Barton just lost her role on the upcoming TV drama The Beautiful Life putting her in pretty much the same career position as Lindsay Lohan. 5150 includes a suicide watch, right? [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson's unreleased Rolling Stone photos. With a huge Us Weekly logo in the corner for extra sexiness. Oh, boy! [ICYDK]
- Katie Holmes and Suri are enjoying a Tom Cruise-less existence in Australia. Or are they? Who's that hiding in that kangaroo pouch?! [PopSugar]
Continue Reading "Leslie Mann premieres things and other news"
Apr 28 2009Julia Roberts is capable of profanity
- Julia Roberts swears! And even more shockingly, is alive. Holy shit! [PopSugar]
- Fergie's shoe line includes heels named after The Jonas Brothers? So are you not allowed to wear them until you're married? I don't get it. [MTV Buzzworthy]
- Courtney Love is opening up a lingerie store. Want to make your husband impotent? Your prayers have been answered. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Jackman isn't fucking with swine flu and has canceled the Mexican leg of his Wolverine promotional tour. Fortunately, he waited for Heidi and Spencer to get down there before saying "Ha, you're joking right? Pull the plug." [Videogum]
- Gisele Bundchen takes her baby out to play. Even though it came of Bridget Moynahan's vagina. Mere technicality. [Jezebel]
- Keira Knightley insists she eats. In fact, she loves food so much she'll marry it right here then have food children. -- I've gone too far, haven't I? [Best Week Ever]
- Suri Cruise bolts from Tom Cruise. Katie Holmes, you should take notes. [Allie is Wired]
Apr 9 2009Madonna's powers far greater than we imagined
- Madonna is being repeatedly asked for by four-year-old Mercy in Malawi. If this doesn't prove witchcraft works, I don't know what does. Not counting every time I give a stripper a dollar. Damn their sorcery! [PopSugar]
- Suri Cruise taking dance lessons? Or an elaborate cover for Tom Cruise forcing Katie Holmes to learn the moonwalk? You decide. [Just Jared]
- Dr. Drew calls Lindsay Lohan an addict, Britney Spears lucky to be alive and Nicole Richie "an inspiration." Close, but that last one is going to cost your license. No, seriously. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Christina Applegate survives cancer but still loves cigarettes. That should end well. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Gwyneth Paltrow is selling her clothes. At prices even you peasants can afford! Huzzah! [Jezebel]
Continue Reading "Madonna's powers far greater than we imagined"
Mar 11 2009Suri & Shiloh: This is the apocalypse
I've been working on this site a long time, so it's safe to say I've seen some pretty disturbing shit. Yet somehow nothing compares to the chill in my spine after looking at the current cover of OK! Magazine. Mostly because I immediately saw flashes of Suri and Shiloh holding severed heads while entering nuclear launch codes in the Oval Office. Now, I don't consider myself a psychic, but one time I predicted I'd go to the nudie bar for lunch, and it totally happened. We're doomed!
EDIT: Thanks to DarwinPolice for figuring out why this cover looks so familiar.
Dec 29 2008Tom Cruise: 'I want ten children.'
Tom Cruise sat down for an interview with The Sun where he revealed his plans to use Katie Holmes like some sort of baby pump. I mean, c'mon, he didn't kill her acting career for nothing. That'd be kind of a dick move, don't you think? Anyway, here are the ramblings of a man trying to win back your love:
On having more kids:
“I want ten children. I love kids. I feel really fortunate to have the teenagers and a two and a half-year-old. It’s a great dynamic.”
On the sixteen year age gap with Katie Holmes:
“If I’m worried about anything, it’s if she can keep up with me. I’m very active.”
On going to activities with his kids:
“I go to the children’s groups like other daddies. At first people look at me like, ‘My God, it’s him!’ and they treat me a little differently. But then they realise I’m just a father with my kids. It’s up to me to make everybody else feel okay about the fact that I’m there, and then everything just goes on.”
On discussing Scientology in interviews:
“I say, ‘That’s it, no more — go to the Scientology website’. I think I could have handled things better. I came across as arrogant and I didn’t communicate well.”
So, essentially, Tom Cruise just said Katie Holmes is out of shape because she can't keep up with him, but it's cool because she's going to be pregnant soon anyway. Tom Cruise, ladies. So empowering. So dreamy. *sigh*
Dec 16 2008Anthony Kiedis' kidney: 'Okay, time out.' (And other news)
This stuff might've happened:
- Anthony Kiedis has a close call with kidney failure. He knew things were bleak when the Olsen twins kept hanging around. They're like vultures, but for junkies. [NY Daily News]
- Tom Cruise hopes Suri pursues acting. Someone's gotta start making money in that house. E-Meters don't grow on trees you know. On this planet.... [Us Magazine]
- Dennis Quaid and his wife settles their dispute with Cedars-Sinai for $750,000 after they overdosed their twin infants with Herparin. He reportedly threatened to "go all Innerspace on their asses." You don't mess with that. [TMZ]
- Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber name their newborn son Samuel proving they're weirdos who don't want their kid to be ridiculed his entire life. Pfft. Can you believe these assholes? [People]
Continue Reading "Anthony Kiedis' kidney: 'Okay, time out.' (And other news)"
