Oct 28 2009Sophie Monk is wanted by the police and other news
- Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith: The new face of Xenu? [Lainey Gossip]
- Dax Sheppard sees Kristen Bell looking at babies and immediately tries to fuck another woman. You can't teach that. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Teri Hatcher doesn't have swine flu, everybody. She's just old. [Just Jared]
- Angelina Jolie banged her mom's boyfriend. But still not Rosie O'Donnell right? Okay, good. [Celebslam]
- Khloe Kardashian could ruin Lamar Odom's basketball career. [PopEater]
- Patrick Dempsey apparently just shows up places and juggles. [PopSugar]
- Pete Wentz gets a dude's face tattooed on his arm leg after losing a bet. Seems like Pete won in the end if you ask me and Ashlee Simpson's neglected vagina. [The Blemish]
- Ice-T never has to worry about finding a cup holder. [Socialite Life]
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Sep 27 2009Sophie Monk wants you too see her nipples
Here's Sophie Monk on a photo shoot this afternoon where she accidentally flashed some nip. And by accidentally I mean her publicist yelled "Nipple! Now!" then patted himself on the back for a job well done. As he should. [Note to celebrity publicists: I will fall for this every. single. time. Just throwing that out there.]
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that prove implants cause a complete loss of nipple sensitivity, yet not every woman has them. I don't get it.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Sophie After the Jump
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Sep 11 2009Sophie Monk in a bikini
Here's Sophie Monk posing underneath a pier in Manhattan Beach, Cali. yesterday which is an erotic setting if your sexual fantasies include getting poked my medical waste while a homeless guy talks to a seagull. Although, in fairness, there's really no better way to lose your virginity. And wallet. Damn you, thieving whore who might have really been a sea lion!
Scope Out (16) Pics of Sophie After the Jump
Aug 11 2009Sophie Monk dating Russell Simmons?
When I see a young model like Sophie Monk dating a rich, older man like Russell Simmons, it makes me realize I spend way too much time talking to women and not enough time hurling dollar bills in their face with a leaf-blower. I guess it's time for me to mature as a person. But, first, do you think quarters would have the same effect? I'd tape little wings on them.
NOTE: Yes, you can kind of see Sophie's nipples. Provided you squint hard enough and believe in the power of imagination.
Aug 10 2009Sophie Monk in a bikini
Here's Sophie Monk in Malibu over the weekend, and she's famous, right? Not that that's going to stop me from posting these pics, but I just thought I'd ask. You know, make you guys feel like you're part of a conversation where I dictate all the terms because this is my blog, and I love breasts, dammit.
I'm a service to the community.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Sophie After the Jump
Oct 30 2008Sophie Monk could totally be a secretary or something
Sophie Monk stopped by her agent's office this morning and did some impromptu modeling in the elevator. I dunno about you, but I'd ask her to fax some stuff for me - then collate copies. After that: Alphabetizing - the sexiest office task of them all. Damn, is it getting hot in here? Anyway, it says something about Benji Madden that he goes from this to Paris Hilton and doesn't commit suicide. - Namely that he's a bald leprechaun and wants to steal me treasure. Burn him!
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Jul 23 2008Sophie Monk in a bikini
These pics tell an incredible story. A story about Sophie Monk in a bikini. Then in a wetsuit. Then stripping out of that wetsuit while taking a shower and now she's just in a bikini. It's basically The Greatest Story Ever Told, and I'll fight to the death anyone that says otherwise.
UPDATE: Even God agrees. Check out this e-mail:
The Superficial,
That shit straight PWNED The Bible. Ha, what was I thinking with the plagues and talking donkeys? If you want to tell a story and tell it right, you use bikinis. I'll remember that next time for "The Bible 2: Now with More Lightsaber Fights."
Keep it real,
Big Dong G Upstairs
Apr 9 2008Ryan Seacrest: Sophie Monk is where now?
Ryan Seacrest and Sophie Monk were spotted together last night while leaving a restaurant in LA. Ryan tried to act like the two weren't on a date: "Hello, there, paparazzi. How are you this evening? Yes, I'm TV and radio personality Ryan Seacrest. What's that? Sophie Monk? I don't know what you're talking- GO! GO! Seacrest knock-out gas!" As Ryan and Sophie made their getaway, Sophie asks "Do you always bring knock-out gas on a date?" Ryan Seacrest just put his hands in his pockets and started whistling. Sophie would wake up hours later in her own bed swearing she saw Randy Jackson climb out the window while wearing a ninja suit.
Video after the jump of TMZ asking Sophie this morning about her date with Seacrest - only to be saved by a homeless woman before she can answer. Funniest shit I've seen all week. Must see.
