Oct 5 2009Jessica Biel films 'The A-Team' and other news
- Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise go for a run. Because a couple who jogs together stays together as long as someone keeps batteries in the shock collar. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna thinks she's Lady GaGa now. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Lady GaGa thinks she's Rihanna now. Are we in a bad 80s movie? [PopEater]
- Nicole Richie gets rear-ended by a paparazzo. [Just Jared]
- Simon Cowell apparently throws a bitching party. [Celebslam]
- George Clooney demonstrates how he catches cocktail waitress in the wild. [PopSugar]
- Mo'Nique admits she'd eat an Oscar if she won one. [The Blemish]
- Dita Von Teese probably never wants to see another WonderBra again. Or Marilyn Manson's penis covered in white make-up if we're making a list. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Jessica After the Jump
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Nov 6 2008Simon Cowell has way too much money
It's been revealed that Simon Cowell gave ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour a $9.6 million 'goodbye gift' as part of their split. The two had been going out for six years before splitting about six weeks ago. The Scoop reports:
Cowell is said to have given Seymour, who he dated for six years, $5 million cash and another $4.6 to buy a Beverly Hills home just before calling it quits, reports Life & Style.“Terri phoned Simon about six weeks ago and finished it,” his rep told Life & Style, referring to the breakup. “Simon thinks the world of Terri, and that isn’t going to change. He also understands her reason for ending it.”
According to the magazine, Seymour wanted to marry and start a family, whereas Cowell recently said, “I don’t want to marry anyone, because whoever marries me will end up hating me.”
So is this what rich people do? Just hand out $10 million to women they're breaking up with? I mean, I get it, she's hot. This story would've made a lot less sense if she was a short pudgy woman. But still, even if I had the money I'd probably stick to my usual breakup routine: gently letting them know I've been seeing their sister and then running out the door and never looking back.
Nov 3 2008Britney Spears is going British again
Britney Spears is set to promote her new album in two weeks on British television's The X Factor which features American Idol's Simon Cowell. The Daily Mail reports:
The star will be singing her new record Womaniser on the show later this month, because Simon Cowell is a fan.
He said: 'I'm really excited about it, because she has got her act together and the new record is terrific.
'She has come back from a very dark place and is a terrific artist.'
Great. Let's put Britney Spears around a bunch of people with English accents and see if she doesn't come back talking like them again. Real smart. Why don't I just start using her kids as roller skates and save everybody the rush? Then, while I'm at it, maybe start posting pics of cold cuts, so no one's alarmed when Britney's vagina starts popping up. No, seriously, I think I have some prosciutto in the fridge...
UPDATE: Even better; Corned beef hash.
Sep 24 2008Simon Cowell on Clay Aiken
Simon Cowell responded to Extra today about the obvious news that Clay Aiken is gay:
"Wow, that's a shock. It's like being told Santa Clause isn't real -- unbelievable."
Cowell then softened and encouraged Aiken with "Good for him. If he said it, it's the right thing for him. Good for him." As for how Aiken's fans will react, Cowell opined, "I don't think anyone cares. Let's face it. It's 2008. You know, who cares?"
Wait a minute. Santa Claus isn't real? There goes Christmas. Fuck you, Simon Cowell! And by the way, people do still care if you're gay. They're called Republicans, you fat Grinch. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to silently pray Paula Abdul stabs you with a whiskey bottle.
Dec 28 2007Teri Seymour wears a bikini, could use a good meal or ten
My original headline for this post was “Simon Cowell attacked by rogue Ethopian.” Then I did some investigative journalism (i.e. Wikipedia) and learned that it’s actually Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour. The couple are on vacation in Barbados for the holiday. I can understand why he keeps her around. She seems handy. Simon could always use Teri as a walking stick if he were on a long hike. Or, I dunno, maybe as a karate staff if he wanted to fight crime or play Ninja Turtles with Ryan Seacrest who always wants to be “Naked Shredder.”
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