Oct 21 20091/100th of Scarlett Johansson's bra! Bust out the bubbly! Oh, wait...
You can tell how slow of a morning it's been when I'm excited about the top of Scarlett Johansson's bra. (Whee!) However, on a more serious note, her breasts are definitely shrinking. I don't know what the fuck she's paying her agent for, but if I were him I'd be funneling an entire McDonald's into her mouth until those things grew back. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd be one of those sensitive agents you can talk about your feelings with.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Scarlett After the Jump
Continue Reading "1/100th of Scarlett Johansson's bra! Bust out the bubbly! Oh, wait..."
Sep 28 2009Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra and other news
- Jessica Biel needs to stop losing weight before there's irreparable ass damage. I'll notify the UN. [Lainey Gossip]
- Janet Jackson's bosom: We don't talk about it enough. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Lindsay Lohan might be on Celebrity Big Brother. Somebody needs to get Spencer Pratt on there then tell Lindsay he's hiding uncut Colombian snow in his aorta. Or not and kiss an Emmy goodbye. It's your call. [Celebslam]
- Leonardo DiCaprio carries around dogs now. Why not? [PopSugar]
- Kristin Cavallari deserves more than Lauren Conrad. [JustJared]
- Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married. Whee. [PopEater]
- Jenny Slate won't get fired from SNL for dropping the F-bomb which was less offensive than Megan Fox's "acting." [The Blemish]
- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson pout about being famous. [Socialite Life]
- Pamela Anderson denies she's broke which is actually true. Unless her vagina stopped working, then maybe. [Celebitchy]
Continue Reading "Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra and other news"
Sep 16 2009Catherine Zeta-Jones' still got it and other news
- Scarlett Johannson is auctioning off a chance to be within gawking distance of her lady mountains. [PopEater]
- Jennifer Aniston singing for Ellen = the worst lesbian porn I've seen in my life. [Lainey Gossip]
- Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen want to name their unborn son Gabriel. [Just Jared]
- Jesus Luz is still bound by Madonna's sorcery. Seek holy water, son. Holy water! [PopSugar]
- Linda Hogan continues banging that Charley Hill kid but has finally found the decency to make him look like a 38 year old bartender at Applebee's. [Celebslam]
- Shia LaBeouf is a Wall Street broker who plays by his own rules. Except for helmet laws which he apparently obeys at the expense of his badass mystique. [Splash News]
- Burt Reynolds was in rehab for an addiction to awesome. And, okay, pain pills. [Wonderwall]
Continue Reading "Catherine Zeta-Jones' still got it and other news"
Jul 28 2009Leighton Meester's great ass and other news
- Ryan Reynolds bailed on promoting Green Lantern at Comic-Con because he got in a fight with Scarlett Johansson. Smart. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katie Holmes almost went up in flames when a car caught fire on the set of her new movie in Australia. That'll teach her to smile in public. [Celebslam]
- Lindsay Lohan is getting movie offers? [PopSugar]
- John Mayer brags about getting laid at Comic-Con. Wow. Seriously? Even Pauly Shore walked out with two Supergirls and a Darth Vader. [ICYDK]
- Kate Gosselin just scored an apartment in Rockville, Md. Stop by the Orange Ball, Kate. The Geekologie Writer and I will not only buy you drinks but also practice contraception. Hey, don't knock it till you try it. [Just Jared]
- Madonna's diet and workout regime is "unhealthy." Shit, I shouldn't have said that out loud. Please don't haunt my dreams! [PopEater]
Continue Reading "Leighton Meester's great ass and other news"
Jul 27 2009Scarlett Johansson at Comic-Con and other news
- Chris Brown and Rihanna might have had a secret rendezvous. Choo choo! Hear that? That was the sympathy train leaving the station and running over Rihanna's face because Chris Brown's driving. [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow was noticeably absent from the Iron Man 2 panel at Comic-Con. What? Fanboys love cornish hen recipes and whimsical talk of Spain, too. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mischa Barton has been discharged and is ready to start production on The Beautiful Life proving that even crazy people can find work before Lindsay Lohan. [PopEater]
- Avril Lavigne is a role model. I'm actually serious about that. [The Blemish]
- Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still having sex which proves my theory: Brian Austin Green's brother is a magic genie. I knew it! [Just Jared]
- Leonardo DiCaprio banged one of those chicks from the Pussycat Dolls. You know those bad 80s movies where two people switch places? That should happen with Leo and me. I'll bring the Indian skull. [PopSugar]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Scarlett Johansson After the Jump
Continue Reading "Scarlett Johansson at Comic-Con and other news"
Jul 20 2009Britney Spears still hates bras and other news
- Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys has cancer. I thought I'd start off depressing then work my way up. [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow is pissed Scarlet Johansson made the cover of Entertainment Weekly for Iron Man 2 and she didn't. Although, in Scarlett's defense, listening to her talk would be worth the sex. Gwyneth... I dunno. [The Blemish]
- John Mayer knows the way into Jessica Simpson's heart/breasts. And it doesn't involve steak. I'm speechless. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jeffrey Donovan blames Benadryl for his DUI. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan attempts to ward off the paparazzi with a squirt gun. I guess Sam's penis wasn't nearby. Who knows? [Celebslam]
- Tom Cruise went clubbing with the Beckhams last night. I wonder what's that like? Besides the perpetual hiding of ACME dynamite in Victoria's purse. Ha, that wascally Tom. [PopSugar]
Continue Reading "Britney Spears still hates bras and other news"
Jul 16 2009Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow
Nerd Alert! Entertainment Weekly has the first pics of Scarlett Johansson in Iron Man 2 as Black Widow: The most bend over-iest superhero of them all. (Not counting Robin.)
NOTE: Added pics from Scarlett's Mango ad campaign for the hell of it.
Jul 13 2009David Duchovny shirtless and other news
- Mel Gibson directed his pregnant girlfriend's new video. Surprisingly, it doesn't involve torture and/or Jew hating. I'm shocked. [PopEater]
- Hugh Jackman gets it. ScarJo and Ryan Reynolds do not get it. [Lainey Gossip]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui's breasts turns women into lesbians. [Celebslam]
- Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got married, and I debated whether to include them here, the shortbus of posts. Read into that what you will. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Jon Gosselin smokes cigarettes now. I will pay him $25 million to ash in Kate's porcupine do on the first post-divorce episode. And by $25 million I mean this doodle of a naked Kim Kardashian telling me to land the Millenium Falcon on her ass. [Just Jared]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a date night just like a normal couple. Until they threw gold bricks at puppies. I'm kidding. Just Nicole did. Because she's dead inside. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Britney Spears choreographed the newest song on her tour herself, so if you're a ticketholder, prepare yourself for three-to-five minutes of dancers kicking toddlers in the face to get at a pile of french fries. [PopSugar]
