Sep 28 2009Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra and other news
- Jessica Biel needs to stop losing weight before there's irreparable ass damage. I'll notify the UN. [Lainey Gossip]
- Janet Jackson's bosom: We don't talk about it enough. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Lindsay Lohan might be on Celebrity Big Brother. Somebody needs to get Spencer Pratt on there then tell Lindsay he's hiding uncut Colombian snow in his aorta. Or not and kiss an Emmy goodbye. It's your call. [Celebslam]
- Leonardo DiCaprio carries around dogs now. Why not? [PopSugar]
- Kristin Cavallari deserves more than Lauren Conrad. [JustJared]
- Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married. Whee. [PopEater]
- Jenny Slate won't get fired from SNL for dropping the F-bomb which was less offensive than Megan Fox's "acting." [The Blemish]
- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson pout about being famous. [Socialite Life]
- Pamela Anderson denies she's broke which is actually true. Unless her vagina stopped working, then maybe. [Celebitchy]
Continue Reading "Dita Von Teese for Wonderbra and other news"
Sep 14 2009Marisa Miller is fashiony and other news
- Whitney Houston talks Bobby Brown with Oprah. Spoiler: Crack is involved. [PopEater]
- Ryan Reynolds might be The A-Team's Murdock instead of Green Lantern. [Lainey Gossip]
- Megan Fox was at the VMAs? She must've bolted after Kanye exceeded the show's bitch threshold. Whose night didn't he ruin? [Just Jared]
- Stuart Townsend is a sly bastard. Kudos, sir. [Celebslam]
- Whoopi Goldberg remembers Patrick Swayze. [Wonderwall]
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are definitely having pale sex together. [PopSugar]
Jul 28 2009Leighton Meester's great ass and other news
- Ryan Reynolds bailed on promoting Green Lantern at Comic-Con because he got in a fight with Scarlett Johansson. Smart. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katie Holmes almost went up in flames when a car caught fire on the set of her new movie in Australia. That'll teach her to smile in public. [Celebslam]
- Lindsay Lohan is getting movie offers? [PopSugar]
- John Mayer brags about getting laid at Comic-Con. Wow. Seriously? Even Pauly Shore walked out with two Supergirls and a Darth Vader. [ICYDK]
- Kate Gosselin just scored an apartment in Rockville, Md. Stop by the Orange Ball, Kate. The Geekologie Writer and I will not only buy you drinks but also practice contraception. Hey, don't knock it till you try it. [Just Jared]
- Madonna's diet and workout regime is "unhealthy." Shit, I shouldn't have said that out loud. Please don't haunt my dreams! [PopEater]
Continue Reading "Leighton Meester's great ass and other news"
Jul 13 2009David Duchovny shirtless and other news
- Mel Gibson directed his pregnant girlfriend's new video. Surprisingly, it doesn't involve torture and/or Jew hating. I'm shocked. [PopEater]
- Hugh Jackman gets it. ScarJo and Ryan Reynolds do not get it. [Lainey Gossip]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui's breasts turns women into lesbians. [Celebslam]
- Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got married, and I debated whether to include them here, the shortbus of posts. Read into that what you will. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Jon Gosselin smokes cigarettes now. I will pay him $25 million to ash in Kate's porcupine do on the first post-divorce episode. And by $25 million I mean this doodle of a naked Kim Kardashian telling me to land the Millenium Falcon on her ass. [Just Jared]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a date night just like a normal couple. Until they threw gold bricks at puppies. I'm kidding. Just Nicole did. Because she's dead inside. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Britney Spears choreographed the newest song on her tour herself, so if you're a ticketholder, prepare yourself for three-to-five minutes of dancers kicking toddlers in the face to get at a pile of french fries. [PopSugar]
Jul 10 2009UPDATE: Justin Timberlake up for Green Lantern
The Hollywood Reporter claims Warner Bros. has narrowed down the casting for their next superhero tentpole Green Lantern down to three candidates and, somehow, Justin Timberlake is one of them. Via I Watch Stuff:
Warners has spent the past five months searching for the actor to play Hal Jordan, the hot-shot Air Force pilot who is chosen by a dying alien to be his successor in an intergalactic police force known as the Green Lanterns.
This week, the race narrowed to Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake.
So Britney's becoming a Jew, and Justin Timberlake's getting his own superhero franchise. I always knew these two would grow up to become equals in Hollywood. (Not counting the past four to five years when I assumed Britney would be caught eating her kids on a hot dog bun.)
UPDATE: According to Variety, it looks like Ryan Reynolds will be pulling down some green tights to bang Scarlett Johansson between takes.
Continue Reading "UPDATE: Justin Timberlake up for Green Lantern"
Jul 9 2009Brooke Hogan lumbers about and other news
- Hayden Panettiere does Details magazine yet doesn't flash her panties which officially proves Emma Watson is the improved model of cyborgs sent from the future to harness my love. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Gwyneth Paltrow claims she was "fat" last month and used her "Clean" detoxification process to shed the weight. I'm now convinced this woman isn't insipid. Just goddamn insane. [Lainey Gossip]
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try to pretend their preferred methods of conveyance isn't a child-powered rickshaw. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Katie Holmes is showing emotion again. I guess somebody didn't check the batteries in her shock collar. Suri. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Aniston continues trying to make Brad jealous by starring in a Mr. and Mrs. Smith rip-off with Gerard Butler who's just along to spelunk the legendary Ice Crevasse. [PopSugar]
- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson plan to adopt which normally I'd say is admirable, but let's not pretend Scarlett's breasts aren't a vital part of the gene pool. In fact, I'm pretty sure they can cure cancer, so I volunteer myself to reproduce with her. For humanity's sake. [Just Jared]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Brooke After the Jump
Continue Reading "Brooke Hogan lumbers about and other news"
Jun 17 2009Anna Paquin should do bad things to me
- Robert Pattinson is straight, everyone. He was just joking/trying to make every teenage girl with the Internet kill herself so he can go to Starbucks without getting gang-raped. [ICYDK]
- Taylor Swift is our nation's greatest country singer. Why the hell are we not related? [Lainey Gossip]
- Ryan Reynolds thinks his abs are so great. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Eva Mendes could sell me cock-shrinking pills at an orgy. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt probably made a sex tape, and don't pretend 99.5% of us won't watch it. [Celebslam]
- Chace Crawford is People's Hottest Bachelor because he stars in Gossip Girls which is owned by Time-Warner just like People. I went there. [PopSugar]
Nov 3 2008Ryan Reynolds runs 26 miles or so
Ryan Reynolds completed the ING New York City Marathon on Sunday, crossing the finish line in 3 hours and 50 minutes. According to People:
Reynolds says in the last leg of the race, he was motivated to keep going by one special spectator."When I saw Michael J. Fox on Fifth Avenue, I gained about 15 pounds in goose bumps," said Reynolds. "It kind of pushed me through the last six miles or so."
Reynolds ran for Team Fox in honor of his father, Jim Reynolds, who has suffered from Parkinson's Disease for the past 15 years.
Asked how Reynolds plans to celebrate his marathon accomplishment, he joked, "I'll probably celebrate by eating my own body weight in raw dough."
Not bad, Ryan Reynolds. Not bad. But while you were finishing the NYC marathon, banging Scarlett Johansson, and walking around looking like you're in generally incredible shape, I sat at home and watched TV for fifteen hours straight. And then ate some meatloaf. So, pfft, yeah. Now who looks like a jackass? How about trying to accomplish something for once in your life?
