May 20 2009Lindsay Lohan still having gargoyle sex with Sam
- Lindsay Lohan is still spending the night at Samantha Ronson's house. Then again, where else is she gonna steal money from? Her mom? Ha ha ha! I kill me sometimes. [The Blemish]
- John Mayer tweets he's a "Showbiz Type" who talks too much but is not a douche. Really? Then how you do explain the Twittering? I rest my case. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Gosselin is blogging now. The topic of her first post? "How Jon Never Helps with the Kids." Not even joking. [Just Jared]
- Kathy Griffin calls Spencer Pratt a "preppy murderer" on Craig Ferguson. You may now work in Hollywood again, Kathy. All is forgiven. [Jezebel]
- Drew Barrymore has a new boyfriend. In related news, the Earth continued its orbit around the sun today. [ICYDK]
- Ryan Phillippe already cheating on Abbie Cornish? It's like Reese Witherspoon all over again, except no one's getting cut by a Ginzu chin. [PopSugar]
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May 8 2009Reese Witherspoon is sporty
- Reese Witherspoon training to be a softball player. Think of her as your butch gym teacher that you wouldn't mind see kiss a girl. [ICYDK]
- Ryan Phillippe wears a wifebeater and takes his daughter Ava out for a bagel. Thnk of him as your butch gym teach- Wait, I already used that joke. [PopSugar]
- Sean Penn is officially on his way to divorce which means only one thing: Time for blonde highlights. Because, honestly, liberals aren't thought of as closet gays enough. Thanks, Sean Penn! [Jezebel]
- Daniel Radcliffe's has a new transvestite best friend. Okay, maybe those Harry Potter books do fuck a kid up. You win, church. [Best Week Ever]
- Justin Timberlake will be hosting SNL tomorrow night because, obviously, he hates having sex with Jessica Biel 24/7. That's like owning a motorcycle and not jumping over a helicopter with it. Sad. [Lainey Gossip]
- New Kids on the Block continue to get booked on The Today Show confirming what I've suspected all along. Matt Lauer is the missing Wahlberg brother. So, the prophecy was true! [Videogum]
Nov 13 2007Ryan Phillippe likes to cry
As if sensing that I needed validation for my post where I claim Ryan Phillippe’s son would rather be the offspring of a pizza delivery driver, Us Weekly brings us news that Ryan bawled and cried like a little girl after his divorce from Reese Witherspoon:
“I was a physical wreck. I wanted to die…. I was ready to kill myself. I was not taking care of myself at all. I would wake up and cry and vomit.”
However, the experience has made Ryan Phillippe a better actor. He can now cry on cue:
“Now, it’s fucking easy," he says. "When I was younger, I didn’t have enough to cry about. But since I’ve had kids, I feel my work has become better, because my life is fuller and more complicated, and I’ve experienced so many highs and lows.”
Alright, let's talk about crying. If a man’s seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time and tears fill his eyes; not very cool. Perhaps he’d cry less if it were a dude. If he's been shot in the stomach and probably going to die, it’s marginally acceptable to cry but frowned upon. There’s really only one acceptable time for a grown man to cry, and that's when one of those Ewoks dies in Return of the Jedi. I mean, not that I do or anything. So what if they’re just cute, innocent little teddy bears that live in trees and want to blow stuff up. That doesn’t get to me. *sniff* No, man, I’m a castle of manliness. *sniff* Excuse me, I’m going to curl up in the fetal position for a little while and, uh, think about how much I love girls and steaks. And fixing tanks with my shirt off. Yeah, all that stuff I just said.
