Oct 7 2009Julie Henderson still in a bikini
Sports Illustrated model Julie Henderson and Russell Simmons continued their vacation in Miami yesterday which reminds me I need to make a doctor's appointment so I can schedule whatever surgery Russell Simmons got that makes $1,000 bills fly around his penis. Or is it just some kind of ointment? Because I've been trying all day with a stack of ones and some Mrs. Butterworth's, and now I just smell like somebody filmed a porno in an IHOP. Ladies?
Scope Out (16) Pics of Julie After the Jump
Oct 5 2009UPDATE: Julie Henderson in a bikini
Here's Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Julie Henderson in Miami yesterday with hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons who apparently got tired of banging Sophie Monk. Then again, what doesn't make Russell Simmons get tired these days? He probably takes a nap halfway through eating a hot dog. Although in his defense, he sleeps on a bed made entirely of models. And memory foam. (Arthritis.)
UPDATE: Added pics from this afternoon including shots of Russell realizing the ocean water is dissolving the Viagra in his pocket. Also, side boob.
Scope Out (24) Pics of Julie After the Jump
Aug 11 2009Sophie Monk dating Russell Simmons?
When I see a young model like Sophie Monk dating a rich, older man like Russell Simmons, it makes me realize I spend way too much time talking to women and not enough time hurling dollar bills in their face with a leaf-blower. I guess it's time for me to mature as a person. But, first, do you think quarters would have the same effect? I'd tape little wings on them.
NOTE: Yes, you can kind of see Sophie's nipples. Provided you squint hard enough and believe in the power of imagination.
Feb 28 2009Russell Simmons has a lot of money
A judge signed off on a custody agreement in L.A. court Thursday that states Russell Simmons will pay $40,000 in monthly child support until his two daughters turn 19 1/2, and make sure that they get a new car worth at least $60,000 every three years. And apparently this was all done voluntarily. Russell writes on his blog:
I am reading these stories today about how a judge ordered me to pay Kimora $40,000 a month in child support and I want to make something very clear. Nothing was ordered, it was given. My kids have a fabulous life; they are exposed to a broad range of artistic and scholastic educational programs and I'm very happy to contribute to that. As long as I have it, they can have it. If I ever don't have it, I'm coming to live with them!
At first I was impressed by the ridiculous amount of money being thrown at his kids, but then I realized the guy is worth about $325 million. He could wipe his butt with $40,000 everytime he takes a dump and he'd still have money left over. Which, by the way, is exactly what I would do if I had $325 million. Well that, and have solid gold everything. I'm looking at you, regular non-solid-gold underwear.
Dec 10 2007Porschia Coleman is bikini-licious
Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons hit the beach in Miami with his new girlfriend model Porschia Coleman over the weekend. I wish I was a funky-fresh millionaire with mad rhymes, so I could score chicks like Porschia. Instead I’ll have to settle for calf muscles you can fry an egg on. Omelet, anyone?
