Oct 28 2009Rosie O'Donnell: 'I coulda banged Angelina'
Seen here in April, Rosie O'Donnell went on Howard Stern yesterday and seriously claimed she had a shot with Angelina Jolie just before she married Billy Bob Thornton. Us Magazine reports:
"She gave me her phone number," O'Donnell recalls.
"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that . . .There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through." she said.
"I was a little afraid of her. She's scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still."
If I ever had to choose between listening to my parents talk about their sex life or having Rosie O'Donnell describe her wet dreams, I guarantee you I'd choose whichever one lets me shove a lawnmower in my ear canal then slowly bleed to death in the front yard. (Sorry, the holidays are coming up and I wanted to make sure that was out there.)
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Sep 9 2009Miranda Kerr is chesty and other news
- Nicole Kidman has finally Botoxed her way to a third lip. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katherine Heigl is adopting a baby. How long until she teaches it to badmouth Judd Apatow, Grey's Anatomy and pretty much anyone who will keep mommy relevant? [PopEater]
- John Mayer might also be having sex with Kristin Cavallari. I won't believe it until he Twitters/blogs/makes a viral video/gives a TMZ press conference about it. Ha ha. He loves himself. [Celebslam]
- Whitney Port is single. Hey, John Mayer, found another one for you! [PopSugar]
- Kate Moss made a drunken scene at the GQ awards in London last night. Of course, nobody saw it because she was standing behind a cocktail stirrer. [Celebitchy]
- Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones are saying "Fuck you, Barbara Walters" by starting their own talk show. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Hefner will attend Kendra Wilkinson's baby shower presumably for one last diaper change. She always used the right amount of powder. [Wonderwall]
Apr 13 2009Rosie O'Donnell: Pirate Hunter
Here's Rosie O'Donnell boarding her boat over the weekend, and I can only assume she was on her way to tackle some pirates. Fortunately for them, Navy SEALs showed up first and slit their throats because otherwise... Jesus. I don't even want to think about it.
Jan 15 2008Rosie O'Donnell compares Britney to Princess Di
Rosie O’Donnell wrote the following lengthy diatribe on her blog comparing Britney to Princess Diana:
I remember the tunnel as it appeared on the news, lit by headlights, flashlights, red lights. Between the cement tall pillars was a heap of twisted metal. I saw it then, and I can see it now. Diana dead.
She will be trying to get away, but they will chase her, just as they chased her into that church yesterday. There were dozens of them, jostling their way into sanctuary, elbowing past each other, just to creep closer to her. Even her last-minute, folded-hand prayers can’t be kept sacred. There can be no silent moments in a crowd; no silence, and no secrets.
All this fresh, painful frailty costs her so much, but it lines their pockets very well. A kings ransom was paid for those tabloid-ready cheap shots of her with messy hair, tear-soaked eyes, and the half-smile of a desperate baby girl.
“I’m scared,” she told them yesterday, when they later mobbed her at court. “Move back,” she said. “I’m scared. Stop it. Stop it. I want to get back in the car. Just stop it. Let me get in the car, please.”
Sometimes it really is too much. Internal wires cross. Anxiety hits. Panic sets in the heart. Dread. Fear.
But she asked for it, she’s a public figure.
At eight years old, she bravely stood before a microphone. By 17, she had sold 25 million records. Where were the sidewalk-skinned knees, the chalk stained hands, the monkey bars, the passed notes? A Disney set is not a childhood, no matter how many bright colors they use, or how cheerful the script.
Not a girl, barely even a woman yet, they chased her. A mob of stalkers for whom no stalking laws have been written. Smother. Crush. Flash. Photo Credit. Even Dr. “Get Real” Phil got in on the action. Unreal.
83 million albums sold so far. How many pictures?
The tunnel is crowded now. There are only inches of separation between vulnerability and disaster.
Britney Spears and Princess Di really are alike. Remember when Britney went to all those countries on humanitarian missions? Or that time Princess Di flashed her vagina to the paparazzi? Maybe Britney is a clone of Diana. That would explain the British accent. And why she keeps flashing her nipples… My God, Rosie’s right! Get Scotland Yard on the phone. Rosie O’Donnell’s ridiculous amount of free time has done it again. Amazing. I bet she sits at home smoking a pipe and looking into a magnifying glass.
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Jul 24 2007Drew Carey to host The Price Is Right
Drew Carey confirmed on David Letterman yesterday that he's officially going to be taking over for Bob Barker as host of "The Price Is Right". He told Letterman:
"It's a done deal. I'm the new host of "The Price Is Right.'"
Remember when they were considering Rosie O'Donnell to host? Man, they made the right decision. I'd actually watch Drew Carey on "The Price Is Right", whereas if it was Rosie I'd just spend the entire hour punching my TV to death. And Rosie? Well she'd spend the entire hour licking her fingers and struggling to breathe.
Jul 10 2007Ivanka Trump too sexy for The View
Ivanka Trump, the Vice President of real estate development and acquisitions for her father's company, says there's no way she'd co-host The View even though Page Six reported she was among the candidates being considered to replace Rosie O'Donnell. During an interview with Ryan Seacrest on KIIS FM today, Ivanka said:
"There's zero chance I would do that. I'm working on the sexiest projects around the world. So to me to be on a television show every single day at a designated period of time just wouldn't work for my schedule."
I'm not entirely sure what kind of sexy projects Ivanka Trump is working on. She's in real estate so, you know, that's kind of weird. She probably shows up to meetings and everybody is in business suits and she's wearing a push-up bra and pink robe. Although I still find it hard to believe somebody this attractive came from Donald Trump. It's like finding out Jessica Alba's dad is Jabba the Hutt.
Jun 25 2007Rosie O'Donnell won't host The Price Is Right
Rosie O'Donnell has been in talks to replace Bob Barker as host of The Price is Right and even met with producers last week, but in a video posted late last night on her website she says she probably won't take the job because she doesn't want to move to LA. She says:
"Here's the thing. I don't really need a job. I'm in a weird position. I don't need the money. I know you're not allowed to talk about money in America, but I'm just saying I don't. So to get my entire family uprooted from their lives and move them across the country so that I can have a fantasy childhood indulgence job just doesn't seem fair. They all are in school, they have friends, we love their school, we love our community, our house, our life, our home. If they were able to do it in New York it would be a different story. But it looks like it ain't gonna happen."
I wouldn't move for a job either. They once asked me to move to Washington D.C. to be the President of the United States and I was all, "Pshh, that's like a six-hour flight. Screw that."
May 31 2007Lindsay Lohan might lose birthday sponsors
Lindsay Lohan checking into the Promises rehab facility could cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars in sponsorships for her upcoming 21st birthday party. Svedka vodka has already backed out, and now other prospective partners (including Caesars Palace, the Social House restaurant at Treasure Island, and Pure nightclub) are considering backing out too because of stricter underage drinking rules in Vegas. An insider tells Gatecrasher:
"Rules are much stricter in Vegas than in New York or L.A. because we have casino gaming [licenses]. When Ashlee Simpson did her 21st at Pure, they had to keep her on the red carpet literally until 12:01 a.m. on the day of her birthday."
Lindsay's currently in a 30-day rehab program which will discharge her less than a week before her two-day birthday party in Vegas. It'd be like Rosie O'Donnell fasting for a month and then being let loose in a buffet. Or a farm. Or an elementary school. Basically anywhere she can find something to fit into her mouth.
