Nov 2 2008Paris Hilton tired of being used for money, sex
While in London filming Paris Hilton's British BFF, LongLegs HerpFoot sat down for an interview with News of the World where she discussed her love life, having kids and joining forces with Katie Price:
On relationships:
"Every other guy I've been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people."
On Rick Salomon:
“I loved this guy for three years but he betrayed me. Rick’s a scumbag and I hate him. It was just the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. So humiliating and embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong.”
On her future with Benji Madden:
“I’m so relieved I don’t have to think about that now because I’ve found someone who loves me for me. Benji’s my best friend and I know he’d never hurt me. I’d love to start a family in the next year. And I want to get married before we have kids—I want three or four.”
On the Prince William rumors:
“I was sitting at my table, looked up and there was the Prince. I couldn’t believe it. People made out that he was flirting but he’s an absolute gentleman and wouldn’t do that. He just came over to introduce himself. He knew about my show and why I was in London so we talked about that for a while. He’s just a really sweet down-to-earth guy. So is Harry."
On clubbing with Katie "Jordan" Price:
“I consider Jordan as one of my friends. A lot of people say mean things about her but there’s a lot of jealousy out there. She warned me about the hangers-on but she was like my own private bodyguard and told all of them, ‘Leave her alone!’ She was really protective. I think she’s really smart and beautiful—but we only kissed on the cheek, nothing more than that because I have a boyfriend!”
Whoa whoa whoa. Anything I say about Katie Price is not out of jealousy. If I wanted to be like her, I've got two beach balls and a staple gun out in my garage. Just sayin'. In the meantime, Christ! Paris wants FOUR kids?! Good game, civilization as a whole. It's been real.
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Mar 24 2008Pamela Anderson's marriage implanted with fraud
Rick Salomon has agreed that the best case scenario is to pretend his marriage to Pamela Anderson never happened. Neither side is seeking spousal support and vow never to set foot in Vegas again - except to gamble and drink all night! WHOO! The AP reports:
Rick Salomon agrees in papers responding to a filing by the "Baywatch" actress that the marriage should be annulled because of fraud, though neither set of documents elaborated.
I don't know what these two expected to accomplish by getting married. It's fucking Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon, for God's sake! Did they think magical unicorns would fly through the air trailing rainbows behind them? Everyone knows that only happens when I unzip pants. *ZIP* See? That's just scie- Bill, watch out! NO! You just got pegasus'd in the skull! Walk it off, Papa Bear! Say, can I have your office? I mean, don't you quit on me, man! No, for real, I'm just going to start moving my stuff in. LIVE, DAMN YOU! Ooh, a window...
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Feb 27 2008Pamela Anderson: Marriage was 'fraud'
Pamela Anderson is seeking an annulment of her two month marriage to Rick Salomon. She is citing fraud in legal papers, but no other details were available and her people aren't talking. The AP reports:
In court papers filed in Los Angeles on Friday, Anderson asked the court not to award spousal support and to keep her and Salomon's income and property separate. On Monday, Anderson filed a request to have a retired judge handle the annulment proceedings — a common practice in celebrity split-ups as it keeps matters private and out of the court.
I guess Rick Salomon told Pamela Anderson he's only half a douche, but after the honeymoon, Pamela found out he's in fact a total 100% douche - with a touch of ass-clown. I asked Bob in our legal department if this constitutes fraud and he said "If your DUI cases didn't put my kid through college, I'd punch you in the liver for asking me the stupidest question in the history of law." I'll take that as a "Yes."
Jan 10 2008UPDATE: Pamela Anderson is pregnant
Pamela Anderson is pregnant with Rick Salomon’s baby, according to TMZ. However, that’s not stopping her from moving ahead with their divorce:
Salomon has told friends he believes she is "acting crazy" because of the pregnancy and hopes she will settle back into the marriage. Interestingly, in her divorce petition, Anderson asked for spousal support but not child support.
Okay, I can understand the husband leaving the wife for getting pregnant. Her egg, her fault. That’s simple geometry. But the wife leaving the husband? Is that legal? Can they do that? I mean, how will shirts get ironed? And, oh God, the dishes! Hold me.
UPDATE: Pamela Anderson posted a simple "No." on her blog which her rep confirmed to People is in response to the pregnancy rumors.
Jan 4 2008Pamela Anderson moving ahead with divorce
Pamela Anderson is moving ahead with her divorce despite reports that she reconciled with Rick Salomon. Pamela had Rick personally served with divorce papers on December 28, according to Us Magazine. She also wrote the following in her blog on New Year’s Eve:
"2007 was an interesting year for me. What's the definition of insanity? This is the year I do everything I wanted to do – my way... I'm going to be proud of every single day – and make sure I do not veer from the path."
Dear Pamela Anderson,
Allow me to define insanity for you: Your writing. I hope that helps you on your path. There’s no need to pay me for this service, but if you must, I only deal in one kind of currency: boob dollars. I assure you it's for purely economical reasons based on the weak American dollar and my penis has nothing to do with it. Even though he is my accountant.
Best of luck to you in 2008,
The Superficial Writer
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Dec 21 2007Criss Angel behind Pamela Anderson's almost-divorce
Everyone’s favorite douchebag magician Criss Angel was the spark that ignited the near-divorce between Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon, according to Page Six:
Spies in Las Vegas say Anderson spent Dec. 8, the night before her final performance with magician Hans Klok, "cozying up to" publicity-loving illusionist Criss Angel at club LAX. Pictures were taken, gossip was spread - and Salomon "hit the roof when he found out Pam was hanging out with Criss while he was off at a poker tournament. They had a huge fight.”
It’s sad Criss Angel got stuck in the middle of Pam and Rick’s doomed-from-the-start marriage. I actually respect Criss. He’s the only guy who realizes you need to wear two jackets to get laid in this town. One time I wore three jackets to a club then passed out from heat exhaustion. That did not get me laid. Unless you count the tray of drinks I landed on. In which case, it was a four-way.
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Dec 17 2007UPDATE: Pamela Anderson files for divorce
Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon on Friday, according to CelebTV.com. The couple had been married for a little over two months and it was the third time down the aisle for each of them. It was rumored that Pam and Rick would star in a reality show, but Pam shot down that idea on Thursday in her blog:
"I WAS considering...Only to promote and have people see what it's like to create a show and be on stage starring in a big Vegas production. (probably not happening anymore) not my family life. (Never my kids) I have to make a lot of big decisions. The choices I have to make now are about quality of life. And meaning. Not about money or fame for no good reason. I know I've made a lot of mistakes. But no regrets -- Just living such a huge dream....I'm blessed. So many options. I can't complain. I can be confused."
That Rick Salomon is a lucky son of a bitch. I wish my wife would divorce me right before the holidays. Instead she’ll probably buy me golf clubs or something. Then she’ll get mad when I go on a golf trip with my buddies and have sex with a bunch of strippers. I mean, seriously, what else do you use golf clubs for? I dunno, maybe she should’ve got me a waffle iron. But then again, you know who loves waffles? Hookers.
UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon have reconciled and are calling off the divorce. At least until their next fight which I'm sure will involve fake breasts and a ninja. That's just my educated guess.
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Oct 1 2007Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon get marriage license
Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon received a marriage license on Saturday. Pamela had announced a few months ago that she was engaged, but only recently was it revealed to be with Rick Salomon, who once made a sex tape with Paris Hilton. Access Hollywood reports:
Anderson and Salomon have known each other for 15 years, according to Pam, who noted the fact on her Web site blog, this past Thursday. In another posting --on September 26, Anderson wrote that her life was going well and hinted that romance was on the cards, though she did not claim it was with Salomon. “I’m in love,” she posted. “And my work is fun and creative. I’m healthy . . . I’m having the best time in my life.”
Wasn’t Kid Rock hanging out with Paris Hilton not too long ago? Now Pamela Anderson is marrying Rick Salomon. What is there some sort of secret STD society where all the members swap partners? I bet they have matching jackets and decoder rings too. Actually, this sounds like a pretty sweet club. Except for the part where your nads itch until the day you die. That I can live without. But then again they do play Skee-ball every Thursday. Decisions, decisions.
