Sep 30 2009So Freaking Hot: Best of September
In case you were in a coma for the entire month of September, here's a look back at the Top 10 So Freaking Hot posts for the month. Feel free to catch up on what you missed, or relive the memory of getting fired for pretending the fax machine was Blake Lively's breasts. Wait, I did that. Anyone know when will I stop peeing toner?
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions because I care.
Scope Out The Top Ten So Freaking Hot Posts of Sept. After the Jump
Sep 17 2009Pink seems like an interesting fellow
Here's a practically naked Pink kicking off her tour at KeyArena in Seattle Tuesday night, and you have to respect a woman person for wearing an outfit with a sparkling 70s bush. And by respect I mean cry in the corner because you started to get an erection looking at Androgyno the Sequin Robot here.
Sep 14 2009Kelly Clarkson to Kanye: 'What happened to you as a child?'
Kelly Clarkson hopped on her blog to tell Kanye West about himself:
Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we're all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you...which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??
I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her...so why can't you be?? I'm not even mad at you for being an asshole...I just pity you because you're a sad human being.
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ....that's why he's bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl! KC :)
Because writing full paragraphs is hard, other celebs took to their Twitters to bash Kanye:
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." - Pink
"FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." - Katy Perry
"I'm gonna say this, we should always have respect for each other! End of discussion" - Diddy
"congrats @taylorswift13 on your vma!!! you deserve it more than anyone!! I saw the devil in action when kanye west stole your mic! u rock!!!" - Heidi Montag
Okay, I think Kanye is a giant egotistical cock, but something freaks me out when a rich, Republican white woman starts claiming a black man is possessed by Satan. So, thanks, Heidi, for officially jumping the shark on this one. I'm sure Kanye's check is in the mail, or he'll be over later to pay Spencer. In ass dollars.
Continue Reading "Kelly Clarkson to Kanye: 'What happened to you as a child?'"
Jun 1 2009Pink calls Kanye West a 'waste of skin'
Pink would like to wear Kanye West's skin as a coat after the two recently attended a fashion show in Paris, according to The Sun:
"I was at STELLA McCARTNEY's Paris fashion show with the vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PAUL McCARTNEY and Kanye West.
"The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show'. He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!'
"There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him. Go on, donate yourself Kanye. People can wear your fur."
Wait. Did Pink just suggest skinning a black man? WOW! This proves what I've suspected all along: She's a commenter on this site. I knew it!
NOTE: The above statement should no way construe the fact that I agree Kanye West is a giant fucking idiot. Just so we're clear.
May 4 2009Pink is NOT bisexual
Using her Twitter account, Pink shot down rumors she's bisexual and sent out the following tweets. -- Somebody, for the love of God, stop this thing. Will pay cash:
i just read that im bisexual. so 1991. good thing people write articles about me so i can get my facts str8. i mean straight. read on people
8:40 PM May 2nd from web
@PerezHilton 100% FABRICATION.
4:01 AM May 3rd from web in reply to PerezHilton
For the record, should any celebrities want to shoot down rumors I print about them, I only correspond via carrier pigeon. Twitter is so 1876. (See, Pink, I can say shit that makes no sense, too.)
Nov 29 2008Pink loves herself - literally
Pink debuted her latest video "Sober," and before you guys flat line on me from reading those words, she has sexy sex with herself in it. Yup. In a ham-fisted allusion to masturbation, Pink drunkenly gets it on with a scantily-clad clone of herself while some other shit happens that probably makes sense to heroin addicts. What does make sense, is the undeniable moral of the story: If you drink too much, you'll split into two people and have steamy sex with your doppelganger. -- Really?
*chugs bottle of whiskey*
Yes, folks, I am that gorgeous. Also, this doesn't make me gay.
NOTE: Video after the jump. Good stuff kicks in around 2:25 mark because, honestly, who wants to hear Pink sing? Not counting Randal. (I'm a fan.)
Feb 19 2008Pink and Carey Hart are getting divorced
Pink and Carey Hart are calling it quits on their marriage. This explains the pic of Carey Hart getting friendly with the help at Tabu Ultra. Pink's publicist Michael Schweitzer revealed the news to People this morning:
"Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another," says Schweitzer, adding, "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."
Allow me to translate: Pink and Carey Hart will continue boning random strangers but now without their wedding rings on. While some might say Pink will technically be boned and not do said boning, I stand by my statement. Feel free to do the math and check your work with the Answer Key at the bottom. The Superficial: We support education.
Answer Key: X = Pink has a penis.
Feb 18 2008Carey Hart is probably going to die
Motocross star and Pink's husband Carey Hart partied with friends at the Tabu Ultra Lounge in Vegas over the weekend. Judging by this widely circulated photo of him with a flirty hostess, Carey will undoubtedly lose a testicle or three when he gets home. Although to be honest, I'm surprised he's still alive. I always assumed that after the honeymoon, the female devours the male then moves on to her next prey. That's why I've stayed a dedicated bachelor for so long and slather myself in Tabasco sauce whenever I spend the night with a chick. That's right, ladies, smart and sexy.
