Oct 5 2009Ashlee Simpson's Vegas Pool Party
Ashlee Simpson celebrated her 25th birthday at Wet Republic on Saturday with Pete Wentz and Jessica Simpson in tow. Personally, I'm surprised these pics don't include Jessica palming the entire cake into her mouth after spending an entire day with her increasingly thinner little sister who can actually find acting work. That's a depression sandwich smothered in loneliness gravy. Great, now I'm even talking like her.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Ashlee's Birthday After the Jump
Jun 25 2009Jeff Goldblum is NOT DEAD. Also, other stuff.
- Dane Cook and other opportunists glom onto Michael Jackson's death. [Just Jared]
- LeAnn Rimes vagina apparently has magical powers and lands Eddie Cibrian a role on CSI: Miami. [Lainey Gossip]
- Paris Hilton's hotel room in Dubai was bugged with a hidden camera. I guarantee whoever was on the other end has already died of itchiness. [Celebslam]
- Heidi & Spencer's Pizza Hut commercial gets canned. Turns out Pizza Hut wants to stay in business after all. Smart move. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are still alive. If anyone cares. No? Moving on. [PopSugar]
- Adriana Lima wants to constantly pump out babies. Wow, this is easily the saddest news I've heard all day. No, really, it's gonna be hard to top that. [I'm Not Obsessed.]
Jun 11 2009Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson fight bigotry. I think.
- Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson campaign for marriage equality by putting tape over their mouths. Is it because they're both women? I'm confused. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Chastity Bono is getting a sex change operation. No! Then she'll figure out we're obsessed with breasts. Dammit, years of stealth operations down the drain. [ICYDK]
- Kristen Stewart's Joan Jett haircut angers Twi-hards. Unfortunately, they read the pansy vampire books and will probably jsut resort to bitching on the Internet. Instead of cutting themselves. Prove me right! [Lainey Gossip]
- Bret Michaels posts pictures of his broken nose which is really just an elaborate ruse to cover up the VD. Well played, Bret Michaels. Well played. [Just Jared]
- Billy Ray Cyrus is happy Miley left Justin Gaston for Nick Jonas. He can kick that kid's ass without even leaving the La-Z-boy. True story. [Celebslam]
- Jon Hamm photographed on the set of Mad Men. Because there's nothing like a full hour of smoking and misogyny. [PopSugar]
Jun 4 2009Ashlee Simpson starts shit with Michelle Trachtenberg
Ashlee Simpson went on the drunken offensive Monday night when Pete Wentz and she sat next to his ex Michelle Trachtenberg at the DJ Hero party. Things were cordial until Ashlee turned into Bourbon She-Ra. Then the shit was on. Page Six reports:
"Things got out of control," an insider was quoted. An increasingly loud Simpson began to give Wentz a lap dance while staring directly at Michelle and hurling insults at her. "She was grinding up on Pete like a stripper. It was actually pretty disgusting," a witness told the Web site.
Things reached a climax when Simpson screamed at a confused Trachtenberg, "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was [fucking] him!"
The most amazing part of this story? Ashlee's rep actually confirmed it:
Trachtenberg's spokesperson didn't return Page Six's calls. But Simpson's rep said, "It was just a misunderstanding. Ashlee has since apologized to Michelle and they remain on good terms."
Yes, because telling a woman her boyfriend's penis was in your vagina during their committed relationship is just a minor faux pas. Sort of like forgetting to use the salad fork instead of the dinner fork. But you get chlamydia.
Thanks to Kristin who hates cheaters. (Except me because it's adorable when I do it. True story.)
Continue Reading "Ashlee Simpson starts shit with Michelle Trachtenberg"
Apr 9 2009Pete Wentz parties with strippers while Ashlee stays home with the baby
While Ashlee Simpson was flying home and Twittering pics of Bronx Mowgli earlier this week, Pete Wentz was partying it up with strippers in Vegas. Star reports:
The Fall Out Boy bassist -- who was without his wife of nearly one year -- partied hard with about 50 band members, dancers and pals (including Girls Next Door star Holly Madison) following a sold-out show at the Palms Casino Resort on April 5.
"Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers."
At one point he was "dancing on a pool table with the girls," the partygoer adds.
Okay, I'm gonna put out this fire real quick. Were they male strippers? No. Then sleep soundly Ashlee Simpson, your husband remained steadfast and true.
I love happy endings.
Continue Reading "Pete Wentz parties with strippers while Ashlee stays home with the baby"
Mar 27 2009Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz sure shut you up
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz decided to dispel rumors their marriage is on the rocks by making out onstage at the MTV Australia Music Awards today. And, damn, they sure showed us. I mean, that's totally the face of a man who doesn't look like he's getting kissed by his grandmother. I'm convinced.
Continue Reading "Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz sure shut you up"
Mar 5 2009Ashlee Simpson wonders when her baby will turn to the Douche Side
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were spotted flying into Heathrow and Manchester airports yesterday with baby Bronx Mowgli. I didn't know you could catch connecting flights into obscurity, but apparently these two pulled it off. Kudos.
Continue Reading "Ashlee Simpson wonders when her baby will turn to the Douche Side"
Mar 3 2009Pete Wentz: 'Someone is going to murder me'
In an interview with the Daily Mail, Pete Wentz reveals a deep-seated fear that someone he knows is going to murder him. Even more crazy is the second sentence that has to make Ashlee Simpson feel so awesome about birthing this dude's child:
I refuse to answer my front door because I'm convinced someone is going to murder me. I used to think that some day I'd end up murdering a close friend or relative. Now it's reversed and I'm convinced it's going to happen to me. That's the way I'm going out, I'm completely sure of it. So I refuse to answer the front door - it greatly minimizes that risk.
Wow, that's entirely messed up. In the meantime, let's all join hands and pray that Pete Wentz is not only psychic but has glimpsed into the insanely near future. Like five minutes from now. Ready GO!
Continue Reading "Pete Wentz: 'Someone is going to murder me'"
