Feb 27 2009Kanye West: 'Give Chris Brown a break - and O.J.'

Kanye West recently performed for VH1's Storytellers, and during the three hour shoot he made some choice comments that producers decided to edit out. Including a plea to back off Chris Brown. Reuters reports:

A little later, West asked the crowd, "Can't we give Chris a break? ... I know I make mistakes in life." He was referring to R&B singer Chris Brown, who was arrested on the night of the Grammys on suspicion of beating his girlfriend Rihanna.
In the same context, West earned loud applause with his declaration: "Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing ... He's a real f---in' person; he makes mistakes," referring to the champion swimmer's recent bong pipe brouhaha.
VH1 has cleaned up those comments a bit, and it also included West's less-popular follow-up observation: "O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing though?"

I love how he lumped Michael Phelps in there because taking a hit off a bong is the exact same thing as beating your girlfriend, molesting children and killing your wife. I mean, who among us didn't look at the Rihanna photo and immediately say "Damn. It's Michael Phelps all over again!"? Frankly, I don't see how you can tell the two apart they're so alike.

Continue Reading "Kanye West: 'Give Chris Brown a break - and O.J.'"

Dec 5 2008O.J. Simpson sentenced to 15 years in prison

O.J. Simpson just got slapped with 15 years in prison today for robbing a sports memorabilia collector in Vegas last year. The AP reports:

A broken O.J. Simpson has been sentenced to at least 15 years in prison for a Las Vegas hotel armed robbery by a judge who rejected his apology and said, "It was much more than stupidity."
Simpson stood stone-faced Friday when Judge Jackie Glass quickly rattled off his punishment after he pleaded with her that he didn't mean to steal from anybody when he tried to retrieve memorabilia.
He appeared ready to break down in tears as he told that he was "sorry and confused" before going into a rambling and emotional 5-minute declaration.
"I didn't want to steal anything from anyone ... I'm sorry, sorry," he said.

He added: "It's not like I killed anybody. Again."
After receiving his sentence, Simpson engaged in a heated discussion with his attorney that ended with the football legend audibly shouting "What do you mean you 'forgot' my stabbing knife?"

Nov 23 2008Kim Kardashian & Robert Shapiro invest that sweet O.J. money

Kim Kardashian and Robert Shapiro debuted their online shoe service Shoe Dazzle at the Rohn Padmore Red Carpet Suite this weekend. Because nothing sells women's footwear like the guy who helped O.J. beat a murder rap. I'm guessing after every 10th purchase you're allowed to stab somebody, and Bob Shapiro will talk it down to a parking ticket. *click click click click* What's the fastest way to Heidi and Spencer's house?

NOTE: Video after the jump depicts a cameraman's epic struggle between filming shoes or zooming in on Kim Kardashian's cleavage. Think Spartacus but without all that acting and plot crap.

Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian & Robert Shapiro invest that sweet O.J. money"

Oct 6 2008O.J. Simpson convicted of robbery, kidnapping

So this is what it feels like to see O.J. Simpson get convicted of something. The Juice and his accomplice Clarence "C.J." Stewart were both found guilty of robbery and kidnapping after they targeted a group of Las Vegas sports memorabilia collectors in Vegas. The AP reports:

Both Simpson, 61, and Stewart, 54, face mandatory minimum sentences of five years behind bars and could be sentenced to life in prison.
The star-athlete-turned-actor appeared somber and emotional as the verdict was read late on Friday night, and winced as he was handcuffed by marshals and led from the courtroom into a holding cell.

I think it's safe to say that, no matter what the charges were, O.J. Simpson was going to jail. Jaywalking? Life with no parole. DUI? The chair. Murdering Heidi Montag? ... Two to three years with time off for good behavior.

May 12 2008O.J. Simpson, drunk off his ass, admitted to killing wife

Mike Gilbert, a former memorabilia dealer and money-laundering partner of O.J. Simpson, is releasing a tell-all book Monday (above) where he outlines how he helped O.J. beat the murder rap. He also drops the bomb that Orange Juice got hammered and confessed to killing his wife. Damn, and here I thought I was the only one who drunkenly admits to be Nicole Brown's real killer. Now what will I tell people at cocktail parties? Anyway, the AP reports:

He said Simpson had smoked pot, took a sleeping pill and was drinking beer when he confided at his Brentwood home weeks after his trial what happened the night of June 12, 1994. Simpson said he went to his ex-wife's condominium, but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him Nicole Brown Simpson had one in her hand when she opened the door.
In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: "If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive."
"Nothing more needed to be said," Gilbert writes. "O.J. had confessed to me. There's no doubt in my mind."

"If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive." Really? Because I always imagined that if you hadn't, oh I dunno, FUCKING MURDERED HER, she'd still be alive. But I'm just a guy looking into magnifying glass while stroking his chin. What do I know?

Sep 17 2007OJ Simpson takes great pictures

Here's a side by side comparison of OJ Simpson's mugshot from 1994 after being booked on double homicide charges (left), and his mugshot from 2007 after being booked on multiple felony robbery charges (right). Can you believe he's already 60-years-old? Looking at him I would've guessed 58, maybe even 57.

Sep 17 2007OJ Simpson arrested

OJ Simpson was arrested Sunday for the incident last week where he allegedly broke into the Palace Station casino and stole some memorabilia at gunpoint. He was charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm, and is currently being held without bail. The AP reports:

The district attorney said he expected Simpson to ultimately be charged with seven felonies and one gross misdemeanor. If convicted of the booking charges, Simpson would face up to 30 years in state prison on each robbery count alone.

How sad would it be if OJ Simpson got away with murdering two people, but ended up getting life in prison because of some silly hijinks over sports memorabilia? It'd be like Hitler getting away with the Holocaust and then getting busted for running a red light. And, you know, if the the punishment for running a red was life in prison. Which it is. I went to law school so I'd know. Yale, in case you're wondering. And Harvard.

Sep 14 2007OJ Simpson commits more crimes

OJ Simpson was questioned today after he allegedly broke into the Palace Station casino last night and stole some sports memorabilia at gunpoint from memorabilia dealer Alfred Beardsley. OJ admitted to the AP he took the memorabilia (which he once owned and claims was his) but denies he broke in and used a gun. TMZ reports:

[Beardsley] he had arranged to meet with someone last night who was interested in buying the suit and other Simpson memorabilia. Beardsley says the man was actually a member of Simpson's crew. He says the men stormed the room, two of them with guns drawn.

Beardsley says the men claimed to be police officers. OJ and others demanded that Beardsley and two other men surrender their cell phones. Beardsley refused to do so. Beardsley says the group stole every piece of memorabilia in the room, including items signed by Joe Montana. They also took a case of never-released leather editions of Simpson's book, "I Want to Tell You."

OJ Simpson is living just the classiest life imaginable. I'm surprised nobody has written a children's book about him. You know, to inspire kids. Dare them to dream!