Jul 31 2008Mr T.'s awesome Snickers ad pulled for some gay reason
A recent Snickers commercial starring Mr. T that aired in the UK was pulled after complaints from the United States that the ad was offensive to homosexuals. It hadn't even aired here in the States, but it featured Mr. T firing a Gatling gun full of Snickers at a speedwalker. The Human Rights Campaign surprisingly interpreted this as "homophobic" instead of "totally fucking awesome." Mars, the maker of Snickers, caved, but not before basically insulting America's lack of a sense of a humor. The Daily Mail reports:
A spokesman for Mars said: ‘This ad is the second in a series of UK Snickers ads featuring Mr T, which are meant to be fun and have been positively received in the UK.
‘However, we understand that humour is highly subjective, and it is never our intention to cause offence. Accordingly, we have pulled the Mr T speedwalker ad globally.’
I'm pretty liberal, and even I think this is some bull to the shit. First off, Mr. T mounting a machine gun on a pickup is as American as apple pie made with bald eagle crust. Second, the ad's not homophobic. It simply warns people of all walks of life about the lameness of speedwalking while simultaneously promoting the firearm capabilities of chocolate-covered peanuts and nougat. In fact, I'm sure gay men will love it because, at the end, Mr. T professes his love of nuts.
UPDATE: Here's a statement from T himself:
"Mr. T thinks everyone should put their penis wherever they want without discriminatory jibba-jibba and pities the fool who says otherwise. [Due to a hectic schedule forging confectionery-themed attack vehicles, Mr. T kindly requests you punch yourself in your own face then flex for emphasis.]"
Video after the jump.
Thanks to Craig who took a Mallomar to the hip back in Nam.
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Apr 1 2008Mr. T should be in The Bible
This post is not an April Fool's Joke. Apparently Mr. T once brought a boy out of a coma. I, for one, never doubted T's ability to make Death piss its pants. For you unbelievers out there, Mr. T shared his story in the latest issue of Empire. I present to you the Parable of T via WENN:
The poorly kid fell unconscious in Detroit, Michigan in the mid-1980s - and the only physical movement he made was in response to hearing Mr. T's name. And when the mohawked star was in town, he stopped by the hospital to visit the ill boy - with miraculous results. He tells Empire magazine, "His family put toys around him and one of them was a Mr. T doll. And whenever my name came up, the boy moved his arm. Somebody told the doctors I was in town, so they called me down there. I closed the curtains and prayed. Then, as I was walking down the hall, the kid suddenly came out of the coma and hollered out.
"That was my supernatural moment."
Thanks to Andy who has agreed to single-handedly help me fund the First Holy Church of Pitying Fools. I'll need that check by tomorrow or I'll have to drive a black GMC van into your house. Thus sayeth the T, Amen.
