Apr 10 2008Britney Spears: 'Fat, weird' and perfect wife for Moby

Moby is head over heels for Britney the blonde Predator and is actually turned on by her physical and mental collapse. Here's what he told The Sun about his obsession:

"She's like this TENNESSEE WILLIAMS tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat."

I don't want to say that's creepy because it's not. This is by far the nicest thing anyone has said about Britney Spears since 2005. If I were her, I'd cut out this post and paste it in my scrapbook. Which for her is an old shoe box filled with Haagen Daaz containers, french fries and a lock of Adnan's beard. Oh, almost forgot, Jayden's MedicAlert bracelet too. Ha! He's allergic to penicillin. Kids are funny.

Thanks to Roxie who claims to have erotic qualities that I can't repeat here. This is a family site.

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Feb 22 2008Moby dated Natalie Portman?! WTF?!

If I collapse in the middle of this post, it's because I'm so chock full of nerd rage I'm ready to start opening action figures thus lowering their collectible value. I'm seriously that pissed. It's kind of scary. Apparently Moby dated Natalie Portman a while back making him the target of my fellow geek's hatred. Page Six reports:

"I guess in some people's eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy - and, as a nerd, I'm certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it's made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath," the techno-whiz tells next month's Spin. "You don't date Luke Skywalker's mom and not have them hate your guts."

First off, the prequels suck, so die and burn in hell for mentioning them. Second, I get chicks way hotter than Natalie Portman all the time. Okay, maybe not as hot - and they're missing a couple limbs. But those ladies are dynamite in the sack. Or so they tell me before stealing my wallet. So, yeah, Moby, in your face!