Sep 15 2009Tori Spelling should stick to sweaters and other news
- Kanye West finally calls Taylor Swift to personally apologize and ask why the hell she doesn't read his blog. IT'S BETTER THAN THE INTERNET!!! [PopEater]
- Zac Efron or Robert Pattinson might be trolling Craigslist for a male Asian lover. Quick, someone get Jon Gosselin. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lady GaGa continues to fight crime by striking fear into the penises of criminals. [Just Jared]
- Kate Hudson looks about as thrilled to be at A-Rod's baseball game as Madonna at an exorcism. [PopSugar]
- Mickey Rourke has sex with models and they don't want people to know about it? The man was up for an Osc- oh, right, his face. [Celebslam]
- Stephanie Pratt literally begs to get into a VMA party only to have her credit card denied when she orders a bottle of champagne. Anyone else feel like they just heard the most heartwarming story of their life?[The Blemish]
- Megan Fox on Today. [ICYDK]
- La Toya Jackson is not what small children want to see when they're eating ice cream. "Mommy, this sundae tastes like nose." [Celebitchy]
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Sep 10 2009Kathy Griffin as Kate Gosselin and other news
- Dannielynn Birkhead is freaking THREE already. It seems like only yesterday she literally fell out of Anna Nicole Smith. [OK! Magazine]
- Gwen Stefani at NY Fashion Week. [Lainey Gossip]
- Penelope Cruz is either not pregnant anymore or wants her unborn child to have the mental wherewithal of Britney Spears. [Just Jared]
- Mickey Rourke is banging a model 30 years younger than him. God bless America. [PopEater]
- Felicity Huffman was mistaken for Madonna. So somebody found Felicity's corpse? I'm confused. [Celebslam]
- Sarah Jessica Parker dressing like she's in the 80s < Sarah Jessica Parker when it actually was the 80s. Robert Downey, Jr. knows what's up. (Or not because coke is delicious.) [The Blemish]
- Jessica Szohr should be the poster child to help find a cure for butterface. Seriously, amazing body, and then my dad's face after it fell asleep in a tanning bed. [Socialite Life]
Apr 6 2009Mickey Rourke wrestles. Like in that movie.
- Mickey Rourke battles Chris Jericho on Wrestlemania 25. The loser: dignity. Ha! See how I assumed there'd be any at a wrestling event? I'm adorable. [Videogum]
- Ashlee Simpson makes Bronx Mowgli watch Fall Out Boy concerts. That's gotta be the worst case of child abuse I've ever heard. Can't we give this kid to Madonna? [PopSugar]
- Zac Efron refuses to Twitter, but Hugh Jackman is all about it. Ladies, adjust your fantasies accordingly. [Vulture]
- Miley Cyrus doesn't care for Robert Pattinson. Based solely on her boyfriend Justin Gaston, I'm going to assume the reason is "Not gay enough." [Allie is Wired]
- Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's security shot at a paparazzo trying to get pics of their second wedding in Costa Rica. Did the guy look like Bridget Moynahan? Otherwise, that sounds a tad overboard. [Jezebel]
Apr 2 2009Lindsay Lohan isn't leaving Man-Thing
- Lindsay Lohan denies break-up rumors again because, honestly, what else does she have to do? [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Johnny Depp hugs fans in Puerto Rico. In related news, mainland America's female population decreased by 50% moments ago as boat sales skyrocketed. [Pop Sugar]
- Kate Walsh drinks wine while shopping, and it's sexy. I down an Olde E in Toys 'R Us, and it's "illegal." No such thing as celebrity justice, huh? [Just Jared]
- Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler break up again. These two are like Romeo & Juliet. Minus the suicide. -- Goddammit. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Seth Rogen is hosting SNL this weekend which will undoubteldy test the nation's aloofness threshold. [Videogum]
- Keira Knightley battles domestic violence with brutal PSA. [Jezebel]
- Mickey Rourke : stray dogs :: Me : one-legged strippers. [Best Week Ever]
- Octo-Mom gets a baby seat thrown through her minivan by vandal. Because that'll teach her about driving vans in this town! [Radar Online]
- The Osbournes' new reality show is a flaming pile of shit. Who could've predicted that? Not counting the entire Earth's population including fetuses. [Vulture]
- Heidi Montag has more "music" coming. You know what would be happier news? Scientists discovering a new strand of AIDS. [Allie is Wired]
Feb 22 2009Mickey Rourke is awesome
Mickey Rourke won Best Male Lead at the Spirit Awards last night for his starring role in The Wrestler. His acceptance speech is a long-winded ball of insanity that includes a tribute to his late Chihuahua Loki and a plea for Hollywood to recognize the greatness of, no shit, Eric Roberts. E! News reports:
"Like I got, he deserves a second chance," Rourke said of Roberts, who eventually yelled, "Accept your award!" at the man onstage.
"I just got done talking to the Santa Monica Police Department," Rourke continued. "They gave me a bed to sleep in 10 years ago. And I thank them—I asked them for two pillows, they told me to f--k off. But anyway, thank you, Darren Aronofsky, for believing in me...I've told people in the past that directors like [him] come around every 25 years...He is one tough son of a bitch and he don't like it when I say that 'cause he goes, 'Mickey, you'll scare all the other actors away from me.' But Darren, you know what, if they ain't got the balls to bring it, then f--k 'em, you know."
He then forgets costar Marisa Tomei's name—but gives her quite the shout-out anyway—and thanks the WWE and Vince McMahon for being so supportive while their film exposed the seedier side of pro wrestling--"like steroids and the cocaine and the bangin' the girl...in the bathroom."
You can scope out the whole unedited speech after the jump because words really won't do it justice. Here's hoping Mickey Rourke wins an Oscar tonight and bites the ear off whoever cuts short his 20 minute salute to Michael Dudikoff. Adding: If there's a God in heaven, that person will be John Mayer. *fingers crossed*
Feb 18 2009Mickey Rourke loses a loved one
Mickey Rourke's beloved Chihuahua Loki went off to the great fire hydrant in the sky, E! News reports:
Loki passed away Monday night at the ripe old age of 18. The pup was prominently photographed walking the red carpet with his master, who called Loki the "love of [his] life," at the Venice Film Festival in September.
"I'd like to thank all my dogs, the ones who are here and the ones who aren't here anymore," The Wrestler star said when accepting his Globe for Best Actor last month.
"Sometimes, when a man is alone, that's all you got is your dog. And they've meant the world to me."
That's probably the most depressing thing I've ever read. And just an aside to Mickey Rourke's parents, don't try and buy him another Chihuahua and pretend it's Loki. Something like that could mess a kid up.
Feb 5 2009Mickey Rourke realizes he's not a complete eye-sore. Takes action.
Here's Mickey Rourke in Paris, and I don't even know. It's like he looked in the mirror and said, "I want to look like a blue Michael Jackson. Except with a hat that suggests I enjoy Budweiser out of a can and date rape."
OR he could've just snorted coke off a hooker then ran in and out of his closet until something stuck. Probably that.
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Jan 27 2009Evan Rachel Wood & Mickey Rourke probably having disturbing sex right now
Evan Rachel Wood and Mickey Rourke have been rumored to be a couple ever since they filmed The Wrestler together. However, Evan denied the rumors and everyone believed her because, Christ, it's Mickey Rourke. Turns out the 21-year-old actress really does have a thing for 56-year-old dudes who look like a burn victim. FOX News reports:
The two attended Grey Goose’s Official SAG after-party at the Shrine on Sunday evening but were spotted leaving together enroute to the later after party at the Four Seasons Hotel. According to Pop Tarts spies, the actress went upstairs with Rourke (whose second marriage ended over a decade ago) when he suddenly grabbed her for a lip-lock in the outside area of the swanky five-star hotel.
From Marilyn Manson to Mickey Rourke? Okay, sure. Then again, Mickey was frisky that night. He fondled himself on the red carpet while looking at Kate Winslet's breasts, and I included pics of him trying to give Angelina Jolie a new baby the old-fashioned way. Which is exactly why Mickey Rourke doesn't get invited to events: His awesomeness makes everyone look like weak sauce. Seriously, you can't teach that.
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