Oct 6 2009Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news
- Nancy Grace lunches on Jon Gosselin's balls. [PopEater]
- Don Draper kicks the shit out of non-fictional men. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelly Bensimon needs to stop working out. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Paris Hilton will answer the age-old question: Can ghosts get chlamydia? [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson's DUI has been expunged from his record which proves the Jews don't control every facet of the government after all. Just the police. (Drive carefully, SugarTits.) [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow does Paris Fashion Week. [PopSugar]
- Kristen Stewart poses for Allure. [ICYDK]
- Beyonce talks about the Kanye VMA incident and how awesome it was Universal Music. Okay, maybe that last part was implied. Telepathically. [Wonderwall]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Kristen After the Jump
Continue Reading "Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news"
Sep 29 2009Mel Gibson and a euphemisim for a vagina go for a jog...
MR. BEAVER: What are we gonna do tonight, Mel?
MEL: Same thing we do every night, Mr. Beaver. Blame the Jews.
MR. BEAVER: Wow. Really? I thought we'd just get drunk and drive around.
MEL: Can we say it's the Jews' fault?
MR. BEAVER: ... I can't hang out with you anymore.
MEL: Is it because of the Jews?
MR. BEAVER: Get your hand out of my colon.
Continue Reading "Mel Gibson and a euphemisim for a vagina go for a jog..."
Aug 20 2009Jay-Z runs some sort of town and other news
- Gwyneth Paltrow GOOPs all over the Internet. [Lainey Gossip]
- Sting's daughter completely murders his image. [PopEater]
- Paris Hilton ducks $8 million lawsuit. Still has the clap. [PopSugar]
- Joan Rivers won't be alone in a kitchen with Mel Gibson. Her words. [Splash News]
- Sarah Jessica Parker gives Madonna a run for her money for the title of "Hands that I'd Rather Saw My Penis Off Before I Let Them Touch Me." [Celebslam]
- Michael Jackson's brothers might get their own reality show. Of course. [Socialite Life]
- Renee Zellweger's face hurts me. [Just Jared]
- Lady GaGa wears vampire teeth now. I guess this was the next logical step. Followed by a propeller beanie. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Jul 13 2009David Duchovny shirtless and other news
- Mel Gibson directed his pregnant girlfriend's new video. Surprisingly, it doesn't involve torture and/or Jew hating. I'm shocked. [PopEater]
- Hugh Jackman gets it. ScarJo and Ryan Reynolds do not get it. [Lainey Gossip]
- Emmanuelle Chriqui's breasts turns women into lesbians. [Celebslam]
- Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got married, and I debated whether to include them here, the shortbus of posts. Read into that what you will. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Jon Gosselin smokes cigarettes now. I will pay him $25 million to ash in Kate's porcupine do on the first post-divorce episode. And by $25 million I mean this doodle of a naked Kim Kardashian telling me to land the Millenium Falcon on her ass. [Just Jared]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban had a date night just like a normal couple. Until they threw gold bricks at puppies. I'm kidding. Just Nicole did. Because she's dead inside. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Britney Spears choreographed the newest song on her tour herself, so if you're a ticketholder, prepare yourself for three-to-five minutes of dancers kicking toddlers in the face to get at a pile of french fries. [PopSugar]
May 26 2009Mel Gibson to Leno: 'Call me Octo-Mel.'
Mel Gibson stopped by The Tonight Show last night and confirmed his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is pregnant with his eighth child. He also took full responsibility for the failure of his marriage to wife Robyn, but set the record straight that they've been separated for years. Which is exactly what I'd say, too, if my mistress ended up pregnant on the heels of divorce papers being filed.
Ha, just kidding. I'd say Chris Brown did it then fly off with a jetpack. Ladies?
May 18 2009Mel Gibson knocked up his mistress
That was fast. Mel Gibson has demonstrated the effectiveness of natural family planning by already impregnating his mistress Oksana Grigorieva, according to TMZ:
Our sources say Gibson has already told his estranged wife, Robyn, and their children about the news. We're told Oksana is in her second trimester. Robyn filed for divorce on April 13.
Mel earned the disdain of Hollywood by bringing Oksana to the premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine earlier in the month, and after seeing the movie this weekend, I get why he did it. Unfortunately, that doesn't change the fact that the stairs would've been the more humane option, but honestly, who could've known?
May 1 2009Rihanna & Jay-Z plot Chris Brown's demise
- Rihanna and Jay-Z have dinner together, and most likely discuss how badly to fuck Chris Brown's career. Survey says "Right in the anus!" [Just Jared]
George Clooney loves the ladies. Even ones who were in elementary school during his run on E.R. The man's a hero, folks. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelis files for divorce from Nas while carrying his baby. Hey, on the bright side, he won't have to cut the umbilical cord. :D .... This is why I don't work at Hallmark anymore. [Radar Online]
- Mel Gibson apparently pissed off all of Hollywood by bringing his mistress to the premiere of Wolverine. Dammit, Mel, it was supposed to be a classy affair about a guy who stabs people in the face with his claw hands. But noooo, you had to be a dick. [Celebslam]
- Kelly McGillis of Top Gun fame comes out of the closet thus proving Tom Cruise is contagious. [Pink is the new Blog]
- Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's marriage actually made it an entire year. I don't even think Nostradamus could've predicted that one. Then again, he doesn't even know what a Nick Cannon is, but honestly, who does? [I'm Not Obsessed]
Continue Reading "Rihanna & Jay-Z plot Chris Brown's demise"
Apr 29 2009Lindsay Lohan shares her dieting secrets
- Lindsay Lohan"s weight loss secret: Adderall! And yet somehow she can't find work. Amazing. [Lainey Gossip]
- Heidi Montag is considering posing for Playboy, and Spencer is actually brokering the deal. Hey, if he's not going to look at her naked, somebody should. That's in the Ten Commandments. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Christina Aguilera's son is a little neat freak. Just as long as he doesn't dust daddy's Lord of the Ring figures - then he gets the hose. [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson takes his new lady out in public. To the Wolverine premiere. Romance isn't dead, folks. [Radar Online]
- Paris Hilton gets her breast grabbed at a nightclub. You know how I knew this was fake? When I typed "gets her breast grabbed." [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Aniston reportedly knew about Brad and Angelina affair for 18 months and even caught him having phone sex. Hey, maybe he was just really excited about his new phone. I get the same way with porn. [I'm Not Obsessed]
