Jul 27 2009Marc Anthony is smooth
Who says Jennifer Lopez's birthday has to be all about her?
Well played, Salsa Skeletor. Well played.
Scope Out (16) Pics of J-Lo's 40th Birthday After the Jump
Jul 21 2009Leslie Mann premieres things and other news
- Tyler Perry is sending 65 inner-city kids to Disney Land after their day-care was kicked out of a country club pool for changing the "complexion" and "atmosphere" of the club. No jokes, just a hats off. [PopEater]
- Marc Anthony is now a partial owner of the Miami Dolphins. His first order of business? Training them to battle He-Man and Man-At-Arms for the fate of Eternia. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katy Perry vigorously tests each outfit for wardrobe malfunctions by jump roping before shows. -- She should probably use a spotter, so not only will I do it for free, but I'll record the whole thing on a secret camera in my belt buckle. I can start Monday. [Celebslam]
- Mischa Barton just lost her role on the upcoming TV drama The Beautiful Life putting her in pretty much the same career position as Lindsay Lohan. 5150 includes a suicide watch, right? [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson's unreleased Rolling Stone photos. With a huge Us Weekly logo in the corner for extra sexiness. Oh, boy! [ICYDK]
- Katie Holmes and Suri are enjoying a Tom Cruise-less existence in Australia. Or are they? Who's that hiding in that kangaroo pouch?! [PopSugar]
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Apr 1 2009J-Lo & Marc Anthony skip adoption, go straight for baby snatching
While other stars are battling mountains of red tape trying to adopt children, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are just straight stealing 'em from unsuspecting couples. I mean, why risk filling out paperwork only to have authorities figure out your husband's an alien from the Picante Quadrant sent to Earth to learn the secrets of our professional hair-care products? That's just crazy talk.
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Feb 16 2009Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony still married
In a blatant effort to shoot down rumors they were divorcing on Valentine's Day, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were photographed extensively in public this weekend. And, wow, thank God. Because I don't know about you, but I've been curled up under my desk with my fingers crossed these two stay together. Who wants to live in a world where Jennifer Lopez weasels out of her deal with Satan and gets to leave Marc Anthony? Seriously.
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Jan 21 2009Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony use Inauguration to quiet divorce rumors
You might have thought last night was about Barack Obama becoming the first black president? But, nope, it's not. It's about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony using the Inaugural Ball to make everyone believe they're happily married. People reports:
Earlier in the evening, Anthony had said, "I wrote this next song about Jennifer. I must have been psychic." The song was his decade-old "You Sang to Me."
"She didn't get the point, but eventually it worked," said Anthony, the Associated Press reports.
The couple ended their duet with a kiss. "Man, she's cute," Anthony said after Lopez exited the stage.
Typical. This is just like that time they showed up to Prince Adam's birthday and sang a duet instead of letting Orko do his magic show. Damn youse, Skeletor!
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Dec 31 2008Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony keep up appearances
In an effort to quash rampant divorce rumors, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have escaped to Puerto Rico for the next few days to prove their love is strong. Because being in the same place at the same time totally constitutes a healthy relationship. No, really, these two couldn't be more convincing if they procreated on a fighter jet in front of my house. True story. E! News reports:
"They are on a holiday vacation," says Anthony's rep.
Two days ago, Lopez and Anthony met up with friends and family for dinner at Marmalade, a trendy, upscale restaurant in the old-town section of San Juan.
"Jennifer and Marc looked very happy, so it is hard for me to believe the rumors that their marriage is in trouble," the eatery's general manager, Trace Donaldson, tells E! News. "They were laughing and seemed to be having a great time."
Okay, I get it. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have a large Latin audience who are devout Catholics. However, c'mon, these people love Ricky Martin who's not only gay, but adopted twin babies whom he will most likely inject with his gayness. Yet, I guarantee his next album will go triple cayenne pepper, or whatever they use to notate musical success. [Edit: Kittens in sombreros.]
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Dec 29 2008Jennifer Lopez & El Skeletor to remain married
- Jennifer Lopez, despite rumors to the contrary, is not getting a divorce, according to her rep. Oh, well, if her rep says so, then it must be true. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get one of these rep people to tell a child support judge I've been sterile my entire life. Infallible logic wins again! [E! Online]
- Jessica Simpson's boyfriend Dallas quarterback Tony Romo collapsed in the shower after suffering a rib injury in yesterday's game against the Eagles. At this time, I'd like to point out to Jessica Simpson that all my ribs are in working order. Just putting it out there on the off-chance she learned to read recently. Ha, who am I kidding? [ESPN]
- Chris Martin can apparently walk among us normal folks without being recognized. Seems no one knows who the Coldplay singer is despite the fact he bangs Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm failing to see the problem here. Does he want people to know he diddles a woman who's one Pilates class away from looking from Madonna? I'd keep that on the down-low, Jim. It's Chris? Okay, sure. [Page Six]
- Oprah Winfrey has been duped by another memoir writer. After raving over Holocaust survivor Herman Rosenblat's novel Angel at the Fence about meeting his wife in a concentration camp, the story has been debunked and canceled by the publisher. Which is great, just great. Now who's going to pitch my memoir Yes, Ladies, It's That Big, Shoots Diamonds, Gives Back Rubs and Knows How to Maximize Deductions for the Tax Return You Deserve!? Sonofa.... [TMZ]
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Dec 23 2008Jennifer Lopez has spies watching Marc Anthony
The Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony divorce rumors have been piling up ever since the couple stopped wearing their wedding rings a few months back. This latest one from Page Six finds a suspicious J-Lo spying on Marc Anthony:
Despite the fact that the couple renewed its vows in October, a source tells Page Six that Lopez used to send her assistant on tour with Anthony while she stayed at home with their twins. "She wanted reports back so he didn't cheat on her," says our source.
Jennifer Lopez is worried that Marc Anthony is cheating on her. Has she even looked at her husband lately? I mean, for more than five seconds before bursting into tears. Then again, there is a single Latin-man-hungry Madonna on the loose. Together they could form their army of undead skeleton soldiers - who will dance you into the night! Bailamos! Let the rhythm take you over! Bailamos!
Okay, maybe that was Enrique Inglesias. Someone brought in egg-nog today. (This guy!)
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