May 4 2009Maggie Gyllenhaal & Peter Sarsgaard get married

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard got married this weekend in Italy, according to People:

"We are happy to confirm that Maggie and Peter were married on Saturday, May 2," the actress's rep said in a statement to PEOPLE.
The celebration took place in a small chapel in Brindisi, according to European news reports. Among the guests were Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon.

Besides the obvious fact they're related, of course Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon were invited: They're the most boring couple alive! Those two make any couple look more interesting by comparison. True story: Jake and Reese were at a funeral once, and if given the option, I would've gone on a double date with the widow and the corpse. Hands down.

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Jun 6 2007Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeds in public

Maggie Gyllenhaal was spotted breastfeeding her daughter in public in New York City. And I really don't know what to say to these. It's not like it's Paris Hilton walking around with her vagina hanging out. It's breastfeeding. Making fun of her would be like going to a nude beach and making fun of everybody for being naked. Which, you know, I usually only do on Thursdays.

These are all probably NSFW depending on how your work feels about a baby sucking on an exposed breast for milk. Personally, mine doesn't care. Although my boss also happens to be a puppy dachshund that runs around my living room trying to eat all my stereo equipment.

Apr 12 2006Peter Sarsgaard knocks up Maggie Gyllenhaal, marries her

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are engaged and pregnant. I'd elaborate, but that's pretty much all there is to it. Except that Peter Sarsgaard is also ... her twin brother! Bum bum bum!!! Sorry, that was totally inappropriate. I just wish life were more exciting sometimes.