Feb 3 2009Sam Lutfi sues Britney Spears and her parents
In an unbelievably retarded legal move, Sam Lutfi has filed a lawsuit against Britney, Jamie and Lynne Spears claiming "libel, defamation, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of contract." TMZ reports:
According to the papers, Sam claims Jamie and Lynn "launched a campaign of lies and intimidation designed to destroy Lutfi and drive him out of Britney's life."
In the lawsuit, Sam claims he was standing in Britney's kitchen on January 29, 2008 when Jamie stormed into the house. Lutfi alleges Jamie yelled at him, claiming Sam made a rude comment to Lynne the night before. Then, Sam claims, Jamie "intentionally punched him in the chest" and threatened to kill him if he ever heard Sam make a rude comment about Lynne or any member of the Spears family again.
All the claims of libel and defamation spring from Lynne's book, "Through the Storm." Lutfi says since the publication of the book, he "has been subjected to unfathomable amounts of ridicule and public scorn."
As for the breach of contract, Sam claims he had a verbal contract with Britney for 15% commission and wants his unpaid management fees. Considering she's been declared mentally handicapped by the state, that's the legal equivalent of me saying I have a verbal contract with Grimace for all the free cheeseburgers I can eat. Well played, Matlock.
Continue Reading "Sam Lutfi sues Britney Spears and her parents"
Dec 4 2008Jamie Lynn Spears ready to sue over liposuction rumors
Jamie Lynn Spears is ready to sue some asses over reports that she had liposuction performed while pregnant, according to TMZ:
We're told the story is "100% NOT true" -- that Jamie Lynn has never had lipo and would "never in her life" do anything like it.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess the story in question is this little item from Star. I should solve crimes:
Jamie Lynn had just finished her hit Nickelodeon show Zoey 101 when she found the weight piling on. Not realizing she was expecting, she pleaded with her mom, Lynne Spears, to let her get liposuction, says a source.
"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a second source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient."
Look, I'm sure the Spears family isn't that stupid to confuse pregnancy with getting fat. - - On second thought, this totally happened, but with one exception: They used a Wet Vac in the garage. FOOSH! "Mama, I's skinny 'gain! Huh. Why's this here vacuum got a bay-bee in it alls a sudden? That ain't right..."
Continue Reading "Jamie Lynn Spears ready to sue over liposuction rumors"
Oct 9 2008Lynne Spears: 'I'm innocent, I tell ya!'
Ha ha! Remember Crazy Britney? Good times. Except when it comes to taking the blame which brings us to Lynne Spears who continues to promote her new book Through the Storm: How I Pimped My Children Then Profited from their Downfall Thanks to Your Purchase. Today she stopped by FOX News' The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet where Lynne convinced nobody but herself that she cashed in on her kids:
On Britney and Jamie Lynn's careers:
"People think I was this stage mom, that I was pushing my daughters to do what they did. I was actually their cheerleader. I have never been their manager, that's never been my role. I was the one that got their coffee in the morning and [got them] out of bed."
On Kevin Federline:
"I do like Kevin. He has been good to us," she says. "Kevin could have been a real pill about a lot of things, but he wasn't. He worked with us and has really tried to make everything good for the boys. He has thought about them through all of this."
On Sarah Palin:
"I'm glad she didn’t have to go through as much scrutiny as I did. Nobody wants their children to have these kinds of hardships or bumps. Who would want that?"
Some conspiracy theorists (Read: Me) theorize that Lynne Spears slept with Kevin Federline thus sending Britney into a psychological tail spin. And, is it me, or did Lynne just admit that when she said "I do like Kevin."? Everyone knows it's scientifically impossible to like something but not have sex with it. Coincidentally, this is also the same excuse I used for why I ruined the turkey during Thanksgiving dinner last year. I expect the same response here: SUCCESS!
Sep 24 2008Lynne Spears: Jamie Lynn 'crucified' while Bristol Palin 'celebrated'
Lynne Spears is speaking out about the media's hypocrisy embracing the pregnancy of Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of John McCain running mate Sarah Palin. Lynne got her holy nuts kicked in when it was revealed Jamie Lynn was with child, but Sarah Palin is getting a pass, according to Newsweek:
"It's a totally different reaction. It's as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. I mean, the mother, Palin, was celebrated for this. Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn—you saw how she was crucified. Everybody did, firsthand ... I just feel like it's been a very hypocritical situation."
Lynne added: "I mean, I've got a 'special needs' baby, too. Where's my outpouring of love? So maybe mine, I dunno, flashes her hooternanny and has a record deal and, okay, had sex with men of Middle Eastern descent. I should get to be a national treasure too! Did I mention she tried to eat a toaster oven once? That too. Give me a parade!"
Sep 17 2008Lynne Spears gives first TV interview about tell-all book
Lynne Spears stopped by The Today Show for an interview with Meredith Vieira about her memoirs Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World. The book originally started out as a collection of poetry but Lynne quickly realized that's not how you get a beach house. Here's Lynne talking for the first time about the Spears' family journey. On that note, I hope you like a good tale about exploitation, vaginas and shotgun weddings:
On Britney posing for Rolling Stone cover at 17:
“The Rolling Stone interview, we were so in awe. She’s just beginning. She’s just coming on the scene. We didn’t really know what we were doing. We were in shock at what was going on, and we were in awe. We didn’t have any choice in the pictures. We had no one that could tell us what we were supposed to be doing.”
On blaming herself for Britney's meltdown:
“As a mother, don’t we always blame ourselves?” she asked Vieira rhetorically. “I took a lot of the blame. I took all the blame. The personality I have, it’s always my fault.”
On Jamie Lynn dropping the bomb:
She had been to the doctor that day and was planning to go out for lunch when Jamie Lynn called and told her to come home. Lynne arrived to find her daughter’s boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, there, even though he wasn’t allowed to visit on school days. Aldridge avoided eye contact, she said.
Jamie Lynn handed her mother a note and told her to go into her bedroom to read it. “It said she was pregnant and everything was going to be OK. She was going to raise it ... I thought it was a joke. I was waiting for the punch line,” Lynne told Vieira.
“I was in shock. I think I was just truly in shock, and then I started to cry. And she started consoling me at that point.”
On the future of the Spears family:
“We’re through the storm and we’re looking at the sunshine right now.”
I don't want to say Lynne just jinxed herself, but this just in: Britney Spears was found naked behind the counter of a Malibu Starbucks this morning. Upon opening the store, employees found Ms. Spears mumbling "I can't quit you" while squirting caramel sauce into her mouth. Authorities say she used one of her children's Power Wheels to drive through the glass door. Ms. Spears was adamant in pointing out that Jayden, 2, was behind the wheel and "gets like this after a few drinks."
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading "Lynne Spears gives first TV interview about tell-all book"
Sep 15 2008Britney Spears' parents kept a topless portrait of her in their house
Britney Spears donated the above painting to The Promises Foundation which provides "behavioral health services to low-income women and their children." The portrait was for sale on eBay with a starting bid of $10,000, but the auction page has been inexplicably pulled. At any rate, the painting was on display in Britney's parent's house because who doesn't love a topless portrait of their daughter hanging around? You know, besides the South.
Sep 11 2008Britney Spears: It's like she's Rocky, but with a vagina!
Britney Spears is making a comeback, folks. She's stronger than yesterday. Her loneliness ain't killing her no more. And I'm now going to shoot myself for quoting that song. While I load the gun, check out the latest from OK! Magazine on her climb back to the top after getting her ass pumped full of sunshine at the VMAs:
On her mom's book:
“Regardless of what people might think, Britney isn’t upset about the book,” an insider tells OK!. “After a tough last year, Brit and Lynne have a wonderful relationship again.”
On fighting for her kids:
“Her goal is to regain joint custody of her sons as soon as her dad Jamie’s status as her conservator ends,” a Spears insider tells OK!.
On planning a "traditional" birthday party:
She is organizing a joint affair for her sons to celebrate Jayden’s second birthday on Sept. 12 and Preston’s third birthday on Sept. 14, with the help of her father.
“I want to have a traditional party,” she told OK!. “I have some friends with kids who I am going to invite."
Wow! Britney's inviting children to a children's party? I'm actually impressed. Especially since last year she invited a pack of stray dogs and Michael Jackson. Also, the cake was coconut. BARF!
Continue Reading "Britney Spears: It's like she's Rocky, but with a vagina!"
Sep 10 2008Lynne Spears: 'I'd do it all over again'
In an interview with People about her new book Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, Lynne Spears seems to be oblivious to the fact that Britney is a burden of the state and can't see her kids without a SWAT team handy. How can I tell? She'd do this whole trainwreck again in a heartbeat:
"I think you have to let them follow their dreams," she says in a new interview with PEOPLE. "I think it would be worse in the end if you didn't."
But she does express regrets about not listening to her "gut" at times: "Was I the perfect mom? No."
Fortunately, one person thinks Lynne is the perfect mom: Her teenage daughter Jamie Lynn. You know, the one who had a baby at 17 to a redneck:
She says Britney and Bryan have yet to read it, but "Jamie Lynn loved the book. I started to cry because I told her, 'I wanted so much for you to like it.' And she got up and kissed me on the cheek and said, 'Mama, thank you so much.'"
JAMIE LYNN: Mama, did y'all mean it when you said you gonna make a meal-yen dollahs off this here book?
LYNNE: I did, princess.
JAMIE LYNN: *runs off* Whoopee! I'm gonna have anotha bay-bee!
LYNNE: No, wait, Jamie Lynn. Don't -
JAMIE LYNN: *hollers from her room* Too late!
