Oct 6 2009Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news
- Nancy Grace lunches on Jon Gosselin's balls. [PopEater]
- Don Draper kicks the shit out of non-fictional men. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelly Bensimon needs to stop working out. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Paris Hilton will answer the age-old question: Can ghosts get chlamydia? [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson's DUI has been expunged from his record which proves the Jews don't control every facet of the government after all. Just the police. (Drive carefully, SugarTits.) [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow does Paris Fashion Week. [PopSugar]
- Kristen Stewart poses for Allure. [ICYDK]
- Beyonce talks about the Kanye VMA incident and how awesome it was Universal Music. Okay, maybe that last part was implied. Telepathically. [Wonderwall]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Kristen After the Jump
Continue Reading "Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news"
Sep 20 2009Halle Berry is hot and other news
- Jon Gosselin's "sex appeal" is explained with absolutely no mention of a penis wrapped in hundred dollar bills being presented on the back of an ATV. So take it with a grain of salt. [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow returns to tell the unwashed masses how to live their pitiful peasant lives. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis and Malin Ackerman pose for the cover of Self. Man, I would've loved to have been a fly on all those breasts. Bzzzz! [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson broods in the rain. [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan can sleep easier. Police arrested one of the three burglars who stole a wall safe from her home. They're still looking for two other women which everyone knows was really Lindsay so coked up she appeared to be standing in two places at once in surveillance footage. You heard it here first. [Celebslam]
- January Jones wants to keep her vagina private. [Wonderwall]
- Jay-Z defends Kanye West on BBC Radio. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Halle After the Jump
Jun 19 2009Kristen Bell in a bikini
Here's Kristen Bell vacationing in Hawaii with Dax Sheppard who I basically cropped out of every single shot. Now, I know what you're thinking: Does Jesus write this blog? And the answer is, no, he doesn't. I'm just his son who moonlights as a sexual ninja. No, really, ask my exes. They never knew if I was making love to them or already across the room to cry in the shower. I'm that good.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Kristen After the Jump
Aug 18 2008Kristen Bell in a bikini
Here's Kristen Bell allowing Dax Shepard to slather her bikini body with suntan lotion. Yeah, it's only spray-on lotion, but I'm pretty sure this is conclusive evidence that either God doesn't exist or is drunk again. Dax Shepard gets to nail Kristen Bell: HA! Good one, big guy. But, seriously, I'm gonna need those keys...
Jun 20 2008Kristen Bell gets cleavagey when she's drunk
Kristen Bell is filming a scene for her new movie When in Rome where her character gets all kinds of drunk and rocks the cleavage. If Kristen is basing this on her own drinking habits, we are so much alike. And they say a good relationship is built on common interests. In this case, getting smashed in public, wearing a dress and wading through a fountain. Okay, you got me: I more into tank tops and mini-skirts. It wasn't meant to be. *sigh* Now I'm all depressed. Anyone got a pair of control tops and a bottle of hooch I can borrow? Eh, I'll just raid the Geekologist's purse. *rummage rummage* Nothing but LEGOs and lip gloss. Slut.
Continue Reading "Kristen Bell gets cleavagey when she's drunk"
Jun 20 2008Kristen Bell gets cleavagey when she's drunk
Kristen Bell is filming a scene for her new movie When in Rome where her character gets all kinds of drunk and rocks the cleavage. If Kristen is basing this on her own drinking habits, we are so much alike. And they say a good relationship is built on common interests. In this case, getting smashed in public, wearing a dress and wading through a fountain. Okay, you got me: I more into tank tops and mini-skirts. It wasn't meant to be. *sigh* Now I'm all depressed. Anyone got a pair of control tops and a bottle of hooch I can borrow? Eh, I'll just raid the Geekologist's purse. *rummage rummage* Nothing but LEGOs and lip gloss. Slut.
Continue Reading "Kristen Bell gets cleavagey when she's drunk"
May 28 2008Kristen Bell calls Brad Pitt a giant pansy (Okay, maybe not in those words...)
Kristen Bell loves her some hockey. And on top of that she loves her some hockey players. The hell she's doing with Dax Sheppard is beyond me. She chatted with NHL.com yesterday and declared her preference for a high-sticker over low-sticker Brad Pitt*:
NHL.com: If you could meet any hockey player, who would you meet and why?
KB: Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood's rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag 'Mrs. Osgood' and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I'd love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.
Then Kristen made the interview even spicier by talking about herself in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. [insert sizzling sound here]:
NHL.com: What is your favorite hockey memory?
KB: My parents submitted a picture of me, in my catholic school uniform, with my arms around the Stanley Cup. It ended up on the ticket for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Semifinals.
Dear Kristen Bell,
I played a lot of Ice Hockey on the NES back in the day - and did I mention Blades of Steel? I'll be waiting patiently while you strip out of your clothes and lustfully ice skate into my arms.
Yours truly,
The Superficial Writer
*Oh yeah, I went there.
May 22 2008Kristen Bell must work out
These are shots of Kristen Bell yesterday on the set of her new movie When in Rome. I'll let you guys figure out why I posted them. Here's a clue to get you started: It has nothing to do with my love of the Mediterranean but everything to do with my love of Kristen Bell's butt in jogging pants. Happy hunting, super sleuths!
