Nov 16 2009Paris Hilton wants to destroy the Kardashians
Paris Hilton is pissed that the Kardashians rode her admittedly roomy labia to stardom and now make more money than she does. However, Paris is already planning to destroy them by copying their every move? Okay, sure. Page Six reports:
"She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl -- and they aren't friends anymore. The magazines are bidding around $300,000 for Kourtney's baby-shower and baby pictures. And Khloe's wedding brought in record ratings for E!
"Paris has realized that standing for excess in a recession doesn't appeal," our insider continued. "The Kardashian girls seem more real, and girls identify with them more. She's got to ditch the pink Bentley and concentrate on developing herself."
Sources close to Hilton said she's carefully working on the launch of her new hair and beauty line, which she'll unveil in Beverly Hills on Tuesday, taking the lead from the Kardashians by having her family at her side.
Of course, there's an easier way to settle this: Everyone involved in this story kills themselves and whoever disrupts the most CNN coverage wins. Ready GO!
NOTE: Apologies to Kourtney's unborn child except not really and you're welcome.
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton wants to destroy the Kardashians"
Oct 22 2009Kim Kardashian's birthday is NOT an excuse to avoid photographing her ass
Kim Kardashian celebrated her 29th birthday again last night at Philippe's in West Hollywood and for some reason the paparazzi obliged her demands to not photograph her ass. Because people are dying to see what Kim's face looks like with 800 pounds of make-up. No, really, it's probably my most popular request besides "Kevin James' taint." True story.
Scope Out (16) Pics of Kim's Birthday After the Jump
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Oct 18 2009Kourtney Kardashian's house burglarized
Kourtney Kardashian's home was burglarized yesterday, according to People:
Approximately $108,000 in jewelry was stolen Saturday from Kardashian's Calabasas, Calif. home, Los Angeles County Sheriff Sgt. Kristy Criner tells PEOPLE.
"That's what was discovered missing in the initial investigation," Sgt. Criner says. "Sheriff's investigators and our crime lab are responding on the scene."
Coincidentally, this happened just 24 hours after Lindsay Lohan had another year tacked onto her probation. Now, I'm not saying she did it, but let me ask you this: Who else could melt through a home security system with their vagina? Besides Paris Hilton. And Pamela Anderson. And, okay, Shauna Sand, Tila Tequila, Britney Spears, Spencer Pratt, Lady GaGa and probably that girl I was with last night. Besides all those people.
Oct 9 2009Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news
- Billy Ray Cyrus wants Miley Cyrus to keep Tweeting. How else is going to buy that there sol-eed gold spittoon he's been fixin' to get? [Lainey Gossip]
- Jon Gosselin and the paparazzi: BFFs. [PopEater]
- Jessica Alba wears retarded shorts. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Heidi Klum has NOT birthed a future German sexpot yet. [Just Jared]
- R. Kelly admits he's illiterate but also the "Greatest Writer of All Time." Why not? [Celebslam]
- Reggie Bush looks so thrilled to be back with Kim Kardashian. So thrilled. [PopSugar]
- David Letterman used to take his mistress/assistant on family vacations. Now those are some balls. [The Blemish]
- Kourtney Kardashian is having a boy which proves the Kardashian sisters have to have a penis in them at all times. Least surprising fact ever. I know. [ICYDK]
Continue Reading "Paris Hilton still has really gross knees and other news"
Sep 16 2009Kourtney Kardashian uses Khloe's outfits for maternity clothes
Further proving the Kardashian/Jenner clan have adopted a Sasquatch as one of their own, Kim Kardashian says pregnant sister Kourtney uses Khloe's clothes as maternity outfits. E! News reports:
"She's huge. She is huuuuge!" little sister Kim told me earlier this morning, while backstage at the Badgley Mischka spring fashion show in Bryant Park. "I think she's in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe's clothes."
"Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it's really because Khloé is so much taller," Kim said. "Kourtney will take Khloé's top and wear it as a dress...She will not buy maternity clothes. I don't know what's wrong with her."
Call me old-fashioned, but this just seems like smart money management. Why buy maternity clothes when you've got an entire wardrobe tailored to size Wookiee at your disposal? Granted, Chewbacca's going to find out and rip your arms off so you'll never be able to hold your baby without the use of prosthetics, but in Kourtney's defense, it's either that or wear jeans with elastic in the waist.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Kourtney After the Jump
Continue Reading "Kourtney Kardashian uses Khloe's outfits for maternity clothes"
Sep 8 2009Kim Kardashian's only talent and other news
- George Clooney actually looks pussy-whipped at the Venice Film Festival. I smell an impostor. Pull his beard off! [Lainey Gossip]
- Gavin Rossdale thinks leather pants are suitable attire for a tennis match. Then again, he sticks his penis in Gwen Stefani. Carry on. [Just Jared]
- Tyra Banks is apparently bald. [PopEater]
- Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend hangs out with Kevin Federline now. Which means he's either learning how to cash a support check at the liquor store or which sweatpants hold the most chicken wings. [Celebslam]
- Cameron Diaz and Seth Rogen film The Green Hornet. [PopSugar]
- Mischa Barton maintains a strict fitness regimen. With Big Macs. [The Blemish]
- Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are no longer having insane dancer sex that would break most mere mortal's bones. (Note: Talking about you people. Not me. Karina?) [Socialite Life]
Continue Reading "Kim Kardashian's only talent and other news"
Aug 31 2009Kim Kardashian allowed near milkshakes
Kim and Kourtney Kardashian stopped by Millions of Milkshakes last night to create their own milkshakes for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I love how Asszilla and a pregnant woman were allowed, yet Khloe wasn't invited because she's a Sasquatch and there's only so much ice cream on the west coast. Although I hear they let her sit out in the parking lot and pick off a few customers. After they paid.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Kim & Kourtney After the Jump
Aug 28 2009Kendra Wilkinson is definitely pregnant and other news
- Kendra Wilkinson poses with her baby bump and does she know we can see her nipples? [Kendra Wilkinson]
- Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy was trying to pick up chicks the day she announced her pregnancy. That kid is going to turn out awesome. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer gives to charity because he cares and not for some douchetastic ploy for attention. Or do I have those mixed up? [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Moss likes Gypsies, too. [Just Jared]
- Heidi Montag loves that Anderson Cooper trashed her on CNN. Of course. [PopEater]
- Madonna continues to swim fully clothed while showing Eastern Europe half her ass on stage. [PopSugar]
- Kelly Osbourne used to take 50 Vicodin a day. [Wonderwall]
- Irina Voronina claims she was fired from Entourage because she refused to flirt with the cast. Vince's Smelly Cock strikes again! [The Blemish]
Continue Reading "Kendra Wilkinson is definitely pregnant and other news"
