Sep 10 2009Kathy Griffin as Kate Gosselin and other news
- Dannielynn Birkhead is freaking THREE already. It seems like only yesterday she literally fell out of Anna Nicole Smith. [OK! Magazine]
- Gwen Stefani at NY Fashion Week. [Lainey Gossip]
- Penelope Cruz is either not pregnant anymore or wants her unborn child to have the mental wherewithal of Britney Spears. [Just Jared]
- Mickey Rourke is banging a model 30 years younger than him. God bless America. [PopEater]
- Felicity Huffman was mistaken for Madonna. So somebody found Felicity's corpse? I'm confused. [Celebslam]
- Sarah Jessica Parker dressing like she's in the 80s < Sarah Jessica Parker when it actually was the 80s. Robert Downey, Jr. knows what's up. (Or not because coke is delicious.) [The Blemish]
- Jessica Szohr should be the poster child to help find a cure for butterface. Seriously, amazing body, and then my dad's face after it fell asleep in a tanning bed. [Socialite Life]
Aug 10 2009Kim Kardsashian is blonde and other news
- Kathy Griffin brought Levi Johnston as her date to the Teen Choice Awards. Was this an object lesson for the kids about cougars' old age making them infertile so you don't even have to bother with a condom? Because that's what I picked up. [PopEater]
- Halle Berry is pregnant again? But how?! We haven't made love since that time I wrote the words "Halle" on a bagel. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ashley Greene was caught making out with Chace Crawford this morning. Was that before or after she leaked nude pictures of herself? [Lainey Gossip]
- Natasha Henstridge is making me reconsider women over 30. (But 35's the cut off. Seriously.) [Celebslam]
- Milo Ventimiglia shirtless. In case you're into that sort of thing. (Read: The bare chest of a midget fucker.) [Just Jared]
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt keep the sparks alive. Until later that night when they realize that wasn't a lumpy pillow it was Maddox the whole time. "Ha ha! We need to start giving these kids away." [PopSugar]
- Dane Cook booed at the Teen Choice Awards. Wow. I suddenly don't fear the future anymore. It's going to be okay! [The Blemish]
May 20 2009Lindsay Lohan still having gargoyle sex with Sam
- Lindsay Lohan is still spending the night at Samantha Ronson's house. Then again, where else is she gonna steal money from? Her mom? Ha ha ha! I kill me sometimes. [The Blemish]
- John Mayer tweets he's a "Showbiz Type" who talks too much but is not a douche. Really? Then how you do explain the Twittering? I rest my case. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Gosselin is blogging now. The topic of her first post? "How Jon Never Helps with the Kids." Not even joking. [Just Jared]
- Kathy Griffin calls Spencer Pratt a "preppy murderer" on Craig Ferguson. You may now work in Hollywood again, Kathy. All is forgiven. [Jezebel]
- Drew Barrymore has a new boyfriend. In related news, the Earth continued its orbit around the sun today. [ICYDK]
- Ryan Phillippe already cheating on Abbie Cornish? It's like Reese Witherspoon all over again, except no one's getting cut by a Ginzu chin. [PopSugar]
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan still having gargoyle sex with Sam"
Apr 9 2009Kathy Griffin in a bikini
Kathy Griffin shows off her bikini bod in the latest issue of OK!, and I want to say these are Photoshopped, but I don't even think that's her. It's almost like the editors said, "Find a redhead, and we'll say it's Kathy Griffin. But not too attractive. Not too attractive..."
Mar 26 2009Kathy Griffin flashes her panties for Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton helped Kathy Griffin film an episode of her show My Life on the D-List last night at Kitson. The two wore matching outfits which was all well and good until Kathy decided to flash her teal panties at Paris. As of this post, FEMA officials are still on the scene and citizens are encouraged to remain indoors.
Continue Reading "Kathy Griffin flashes her panties for Paris Hilton"
Apr 11 2008Kathy Griffin & Adnan? Ashton Kutcher, please die now
Kathy Griffin and Adnan Ghalib were spotted together yesterday shopping at Victoria's Secret. This is so obviously the doings of Ashton Kutcher. How can I tell? Oh, I dunno, maybe because IT'S KATHY GRIFFIN! Jesus, who would believe this? If Ashton really wanted to sell this relationship, he should've gone with something more believable than lingerie shopping. Like Adnan pushing Kathy into traffic while screaming "Run, penis, run! Save yourself!" Now that's realism.
Thanks to Gilles who's mercilessly awesome enough to never have a douche-beard.
Continue Reading "Kathy Griffin & Adnan? Ashton Kutcher, please die now"
Mar 10 2008Kathy Griffin weds couple, laughs obnoxiously
Kathy Griffin performed the wedding ceremony for a New York couple on Saturday. The couple had sent Kathy a request and considering she's completely unemployable, the comedian said yes. Kathy became an ordained minister over the Internet and flew out from Los Angeles to marry lovebirds Brian Ankstey and Elsa Shapiro, according to NY Daily News:
Griffin's 10-minute service was peppered with blue language and X-rated jokes about the couple's sex life.
She also made the bride recite the menu for the reception.
"What did you get for the boring vegetarians and vegans?" Griffin wanted to know. "They're such a pain at these things."
Ha! Reciting the menu? Now that's comedy. Anyway, what surprised me the most is that the couple are actually fans of Kathy Griffin. Which sort of debunks a long-held theory of mine that every person alive wants her to eat a ball of anthrax. I always felt that one was the most scientific. Followed closely by my wang being a nuclear love machine from the future.
Continue Reading "Kathy Griffin weds couple, laughs obnoxiously"
May 14 2007Kathy Griffin wants attention
Remember when Kathy Griffin ate it in a London parking lot two weeks ago? Well apparently she faked the whole thing for some publicity.
So she took a taxi to an event she knew would be well-covered by the paparazzi. As she was stepping out of the taxi, she "tripped" and fell face-first to the pavement. Photos of her tumble were posted all over the Internet and in newspapers. "It worked!" Griffin bragged to Page Six. "Part of episode seven is that I do anything to be in the tabs in London. They're very big on pics of celebs falling drunkenly out of cabs. The shot was almost ruined when some nice lady tried to help me!"
If she really wants some publicity she should just kill herself. Forget the publicity, she should just do it anyway. You know, for the children. Or something.
