Sep 9 2009Miranda Kerr is chesty and other news
- Nicole Kidman has finally Botoxed her way to a third lip. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katherine Heigl is adopting a baby. How long until she teaches it to badmouth Judd Apatow, Grey's Anatomy and pretty much anyone who will keep mommy relevant? [PopEater]
- John Mayer might also be having sex with Kristin Cavallari. I won't believe it until he Twitters/blogs/makes a viral video/gives a TMZ press conference about it. Ha ha. He loves himself. [Celebslam]
- Whitney Port is single. Hey, John Mayer, found another one for you! [PopSugar]
- Kate Moss made a drunken scene at the GQ awards in London last night. Of course, nobody saw it because she was standing behind a cocktail stirrer. [Celebitchy]
- Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones are saying "Fuck you, Barbara Walters" by starting their own talk show. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Hefner will attend Kendra Wilkinson's baby shower presumably for one last diaper change. She always used the right amount of powder. [Wonderwall]
Aug 25 2009Hilary Duff is a Gossip Girl and other news
- Chris Brown is not allowed to contact Rihanna for five years. Which gives him plenty of time to have sexual reorientation surgery and become a man. [Just Jared]
- Ryan Gosling is dating Kat Dennings? But she wasn't in The Notebook... [Lainey Gossip]
- Sean Connery turned 79 today and pretty much every woman I know would still do him. Someone should build him a statue. [PopEater]
- Jessica Biel is the "most dangerous woman" on the Internet. Is it because I'd stab my grandmother just to feel the breeze of Jessica's ass? That's gotta be it. [Wonderwall]
- Katherine Heigl knows how to get a discount. Why do I suddenly want to be a furniture salesman? [Celebslam]
- Lindsay Lohan's neighbors are tired of the plague she's beset upon them. Which I assume means Samantha Ronson's penis. [The Blemish]
- Shia LaBeouf bags another co-star which is basically futile after sleeping with Megan Fox. Unless he likes to cry during sex, then high five! [PopSugar]
- Paula Abdul has landed a job hosting the revamped VH1 Divas. Now she'll have even more of an excuse when she finds out Miley Cyrus is slated to perform. Gin will never taste so delicious. [ICYDK]
Continue Reading "Hilary Duff is a Gossip Girl and other news"
Jul 31 2009Seth Rogen shot down by Megan Fox and other news
- Robert Pattinson looks like "feminie," according to Twilight co-star Nikki Reed. She'll be dead within the hour. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katherine Heigl's mouth is basically one more retarded comment away from sodomizing her career. [Celebslam]
- Kevin Federline doesn't do tips. Unless it's his penis and no condoms are involved. Back me up, Jayden. [The Blemish]
- Ashley Tisdale says kissing Zac Efron is weird. Hmm, yes. I could see how him constantly asking "Hey, where's your penis?" could be a tad awkward. [PopEater]
- Jude Law's knows how to treat a lady he had unprotected sex with for a week. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are back together? Did the herpes not stick? I don't get it. [PopSugar]
Jul 30 2009Jennifer Aniston's headlights are on and other news
- Jon & Kate Plus 8 is still beloved by TLC. Then again, who doesn't love exploitation dollars? That shit's the best. [Just Jared]
- Tony Romo was "emotionally cheating" for months. Really? We're going to use complex terms for a situation involving Jessica Simpson? Why not? [Celebslam]
- Rachelle Lefevre gets another punch in the tits from Summit Entertainment. [Lainey Gossip]
- Seth Rogen has words for Katherine Heigl. [PopEater]
- Lindsay Lohan claims she dyed her hair blonde for a film role. HAHAHA! But, no, seriously, what's the real reason? Probation officer in town? [PopSugar]
- Megan Fox is tired of the Angelina Jolie comparison. Which is why she's marrying Billy Bob Thornton. That'll shut 'em up! [I'm Not Obsessed]
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May 28 2009Megan Fox on Wonder Woman: 'Do not want.'
- Megan Fox will not be playing Wonder Woman because she's a "lame superhero." Somewhere, thousand of fanboys almost stopped masturbating. Almost. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan tones down the crazy to keep the acting gig she only landed because Katie Holmes backed out. And by backed out I mean Tom Cruise activated her collar and demanded a Xenu Sandwich. [Lainey Gossip]
- Michael Lohan denies threatening to kill his fiancee and says he must be innocent because now she wants the charges dropped. The only thing I believe about that excuse is Michael Lohan is dumb enough to think it would work. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Katherine Heigl's demands a larger salary than Julia Roberts for an ensemble role only to get the boot from producers. Somehow this will be Judd Apatow's fault. Or the writers of Grey's Anatomy. Either one. [Celebslam]
- Gisele Bundchen is NOT pregnant. She's currently satisfied with the child Bridget Moynahan birthed that Gisele tells everybody is her's. That's how you protect a vagina, ladies. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Continue Reading "Megan Fox on Wonder Woman: 'Do not want.'"
Jul 17 2008Katherine Heigl about to learn why you don't piss off your writers
After dropping out of the Emmy race and announcing she "wasn't given the material to warrant a nomination," Katherine Heigl basically shit in the corn flakes of the Grey's Anatomy writers. And now they're striking back:
*Spoiler Alert*
HER CHARACTER GETS A BRAIN TUMOR.
*End spoiler.*
Did I do that right? Us Weekly reports:
“[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”
While I admire the writers for exacting their revenge, I'm a little disappointed. A brain tumor? (Oh, shit. SPOILER!) I mean, is that the best they can do? I was hoping for something along the lines of Katherine's character falling in love with Osama bin Laden. Together they try to make things work while balancing their careers. (He's a terrorist; she's a doctor. Wacky!) And, of course, there'd be several subplots where it's revealed her character hates puppies, freedom and the laughter of children. I should really write a pilot.
Continue Reading "Katherine Heigl about to learn why you don't piss off your writers"
Jun 24 2008Katherine Heigl's wardrobe consists solely of bikinis (Someone get this woman a Nobel Prize, please.)
Katherine Heigl was spotted at her home yesterday getting ready to relax in her pool. Apparently she's not done wearing a bikini, and God bless her, may just wear one all summer. In the meantime, why is she hiding in fear in her own house from the paparazzi? I don't know about you, but if the paps were in my abode trying to snap a pic I'd come at them with something they'd never suspect: the whole fruit basket. I mean, these guys obviously braved the landmines, moat and T-Rex* to get a shot of your's truly, so they deserve a glimpse of something awesome and possibly diamond-crusted. Wink.
*I have many valuables. (Read: Comic books and Swedish fish.)
Jun 23 2008Katherine Heigl in a bikini, this time less Sasquatchy
These are the latest round of pics from Katherine Heigl's Mexican getaway which ended over the weekend. She's relaxing in the sun and downing margaritas with her husband Josh Kelley. A man who's thinking to himself "How many times can a woman stretch without a boob popping out?" Many men have died trying to answer that question, Josh. But mostly because the strip club they were at caught on fire when I tried to light a shot of whiskey. Maybe the flamethrower was a tad excessive. We'll never know, so let's not point fingers or lawsuits.
Continue Reading "Katherine Heigl in a bikini, this time less Sasquatchy"
