Oct 2 2009Kate Beckinsale is the Sexiest Woman Alive
Kate Beckinsale has been named this year's The Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire's which is a random, but not unwarranted selection. After close inspection, I'll allow it, but Kate's going to owe me one. I'm really putting my neck out here saying stuff anonymously on the Internet, so the least she could do is sit naked on my coffee table while I'm having people over. I'd do the same if the roles were reversed. -- Or for free. (Kate, call me.)
Scope Out (11) Pics of Kate Plus Video After the Jump
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Sep 3 2009Olivia Wilde hawks perfume and other news
- Michael Jackson's funeral was today. I wonder what it was like when they found out his gravestone dispenses candy. Hmm... [PopEater]
- Salma Hayek flipped out last night at a restaurant when all the outdoor seating was taken even though she didn't have a reservation. Did any of this cause her breasts to shrink? No? Carry on. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Beckinsale is hot. I don't say that enough. [PopSugar]
- Janice Dickinson found a man willing to kiss her old, collagen lips without cash changing hands. [Celebslam]
- Ashlee Simpson talks about raising Pete Wentz's spawn on The Today Show. [Just Jared]
- Tori Spelling denies reports that Dean McDermott is only married to her for the money. Clearly it's for the sex. Because who doesn't enjoy banging a sickly, middle-aged woman with implants? And she even had kids. Score! [Socialite Life]
- Kelly Osbourne wants kids to stay off tattoos. Hey, doesn't she know educating kids is for commies? Oh, wait, that only counts if you're a black president. My bad. [ICYDK]
- Kim Cattrall is still a cougar. [Splash News]
- Cate Blanchett goes back to work after getting brained on stage by a co-star and pretty much makes Jeremy Piven look like a giant vagina. [Parade]
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Nov 13 2008Kate Beckinsale kind of working out
For no reason except that she's hot, here are some shots of Kate Beckinsale working out. Or, uh, walking around a Brentwood neighborhood and talking on her cell phone. Which is sort of like working out because, well, you're moving. Kind of. Plus you get to wear working out clothes. Doctors agree, this level of physical activity ranks right up there with watching TV or going down a slide.
Aug 19 2008Kate Beckinsale in a bikini
Kate Beckinsale did some scuba-diving while vacationing in Cabo yesterday with her family. I don't want to say these photos of Kate in a bikini are the most important news of the day, but let's be frank, they are. I mean, Jesus, I wrote a post about Chris Kattan. How does that even happen?
Jun 5 2008Kate Beckinsale thinks mastery in the bedroom gets her out of the kitchen - HILARIOUS!
Kate Beckinsale is full of gems. First, she said she'd rather eat pussy than sushi. Now, she's telling Glamour magazine that her awesome skills in the sack give her a free pass from sandwich making. Ha! But, no, seriously, who let her speak in public?:
“I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.”
So, by Kate Beckinsale's logic, if your wife is an awesome cook, you're allowed to bring prostitutes into the house. I'm in. Someone get me Rachael Ray in a wedding dress and two tickets to Vegas. Holy cow, I can almost smell the hookers and pot roast!
Mar 21 2008Kate Beckinsale has a great alternative for sushi
Kate Beckinsale gives the greatest interviews in the history of interviewography. Recently she commented that she'd rather eat a certain female part than eat sushi. Moviefone quizzed Kate about her comment during an interview for her new movie Snow Angels:
6. You told an interviewer you'd rather eat a vagina than sushi. When stuff you say makes headlines, what's the reaction of your publicity team? I have to say, sushi freaks me out more than almost anything. At least a vagina would be warm. [laughs] My publicist has literally turned a funny color and is going to go have a lie-down. He's throwing up now, as well. I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts from all my friends going, "What's the matter with you?" But I haven't ever made a big attempt to have any particular image. And I don't really worry about it.
Obviously, Kate's publicist doesn't know the definition of "HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME!" which, according to my dictionary, is: "adj. 1. Kate Beckinsale dining in vagina town. 2. Hayden Panettiere passed out on my couch. 3. Ashton Kutcher's death by way of butt cancer." On bookshelves soon!
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Nov 1 2007Kate Beckinsale is the bride of Satan
Kate Beckinsale and her husband director Len Wiseman, dressed as Satan, took their daughter Lily trick or treating last night. So what exactly is their kid supposed to be? The southern Belle love child of Satan? I don’t get it. What I do get is that Kate Beckinsale should wear tight leather outfit at all times. Somebody needs to make that a law. For the, uh, good of the country. Maybe it’ll boost the economy. I dunno, I’m not a doctor. Just a man with a dream.
Jun 21 2007Kate Beckinsale is kind of pretty...I guess
Kate Beckinsale showed up to the UK premiere of Die Hard 4.0 looking like her usual ridiculous self. Ridiculously ugly that is! That face, that body. I mean c'mon, it's like she's not even trying. She looks like she's completely covered in hair! And what is that, a banana? Hmm, wait, I think I was looking at the monkey issue of Zoo Books on accident. Let me pull up the right pictures. Oh, yeah, she looks stunning here.
