May 26 2009Hayden Panettiere & Justin Long? Why not?
- Hayden Panettiere is with Justin Long now? This is what happens when midgets are in heat, folks. Also, they grow tails made of rainbows. [Just Jared]
- Demi Moore Twitters a pic of herself getting a false tooth replaced. Jesus, how many times do I have to tell her? "No gyno, no camera." Four simple words, Demi. [Allie is Wired]
- Evangeline Lilly claims she could've been the "next Angelina Jolie" but turned producers down. Which is really her way of saying Megan Fox shoved her down an elevator shaft and left her for dead. True story. [Lainey Gossip]
- Britney Spears was an "honorary bridesmaid" at her cousin's wedding over the weekend. Which means she was only required to wear a dress and wave from the pew, so grandpa didn't get a face-full of vagina during the inevitable pile-up. Then again, these people are from the South... [Pink is the New Blog]
- Zac Efron approves of Vanessa Hudgens wanting to do nudity in films to shed her Disney image. Christ, finally. If he's going to cry every time he sees her naked, at least let someone else look at her. That's just common courtesy. [Celebslam]
- Chloe Sevigny strung out on heroin in the 80s. That's the only way to describe what's happening here. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Apr 15 2009Drew Barrymore gets dolled up again
Drew Barrymore dolled herself up for the premiere of Grey Gardens last night. Unfortunately, she also brought Justin Long, and the two were openly affectionate, according to People. Normally, I'd say "To each his own," except Drew is clearly giving Justin the "Did You Just Roofie Me?" Face in the final shot. Trust me, I'd The Geekologie Writer would know that look anywhere.
Apr 8 2009Zac Efron does one of those 'Funny or Die' videos. Guess what it falls under.
I've determined Funny or Die makes two types of videos (besides the obvious):
1. Whatever the hell kind of awesome this "leaked" version of Wolverine is.
2. Painfully long skits featuring tons of celebs who might as well be getting blown by the director - such as the above video starring Zac Efron. Because it's always so hilarious seeing stars "act" like they're being candid. I mean, Brody Jenner touting the liberal economic policies of Paul Krugman even though he's a spoiled white rich kid from Orange County? Oh, the delicious irony! Please kill me.
Mar 31 2009Ed Westwick wears a kilt and other news
- Ed Westwick wears a kilt for charity. I wear one for general elegance, and my deep hatred of undergarments. Ladies? [Best Week Ever]
- Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are back together - in a movie! 1,000,000th blogger to make that joke! I win! [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Kellan Lutz of Twilight poses shirtless for Flaunt Magazine. Surprisingly, the shrieks of a thousand Twi-hards haven't deafened us all. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Alyson Hannigan has a girl! And, no, it wasn't holding a flute. But good question. [Just Jared]
- Melissa Rycroft of The Bachelorette is NOT posing for Playboy. She has principles including, but not limited to, being paid to pick a husband on reality TV. [Radar Online]
Nov 4 2008Tila Tequila & Justin Long? Why not?
Tila Tequila is apparently done with Courtenay Semel because she was spotted making out with Justin Long on Halloween. Okay, now I'm really confused. I thought Tila was bi-sexual not full-on lesbian. Page Six reports:
But on Halloween, the "Mac Guy" hooked up with trampy bisexual Tila Tequila in Las Vegas. Spies said the two were spotted at Los Angeles airport and nightclub Noir, where Long "asked her to straddle him while making out. Eww," our spy sniffed.
Justin Long's quality of women is taking the steepest decline I've ever seen. He's gone from Drew Barrymore to Kirsten Dunst to Tila "Who the fuck is she blowing kisses to?" Tequila. Jesus. If Justin keeps this up, he'll be be banging Amy Winehouse by Christmas. (Or, in the case of death, Andy Dick.)
Aug 26 2008Kirsten Dunst dating Drew Barrymore's leftovers (Oh, how the snaggle-toothed hath fallen...)
Justin Long has apparently rebounded from his break-up with Drew Barrymore and landed in the pale-white arms of Kirsten Dunst, according to NY Daily News:
he duo "were making out hard-core while waiting in line for margaritas," says our spy. "They were holding hands and were all over each other."
I don't think this is proof that Justin and Kirsten are a couple as much as it is proof she drinks the blood of the living. On the plus side, no more smug Mac ads that make me want to stab Justin Long in the face with Bill Gates' glasses. Thanks, Nosferatu!
Jul 8 2008Drew Barrymore & Justin Long stop having awkward sex
Sad news, folks. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have broken up. Who? Exactly. Us Magazine reports:
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have split, her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively.
"They are still friends," a source close to Barrymore tells Us.
Okay, let's be honest: no one outside of Justin Long's penis cares about this news. I'd have more fun chewing on a live power line then talk about these two. In fact, I haven't had breakfast yet, so if you'll excuse me... *KA-ZZZZZZZZZAP* Oh, yeah, I made the right choice. I mean, who needs body hair or the ability to see in color anyway? Not this guy!
Mar 3 2008Drew Barrymore wears bikini for Justin Long
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long had a romantic getaway to Mexico this weekend. These two look like a sweet couple. You know, the kind that has sex then quickly runs to separate showers for a good wash and cry. You can't put a price on a love like that. But, unfortunately, you can put a price on a Mac. Seriously, Justin, $1500 and this thing doesn't mix drinks? I'll stick to my custom PC with a blender duct-taped to it, thank you very much. Now who wants an ink-toner mojito? *sips* Mmm, poisony.
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