Jun 24 2009Spencer Pratt is told about himself. Musically.

- Angelina Jolie wants to be president. Well, we elected a black guy, so why not a quasi-incestuous blood amulet-wearing child collector? It's time, America. It's time. [Celebslam]

- Jonathan Rhys Meyers arrested for drunkenly assaulting an airport bartender who cut him off. -- I'm failing to see the crime here. [The Blemish]

- Paris Hilton is tired of the Cristiano Ronaldo which now she says are completely made-up. Yes, because clearly the paparazzi caused all our eyes to see a clear as fuck picture of her flashing her snizz at Ronaldo in a club. Those devious bastards! [ICYDK]

- Audrina Patridge's solo reality show is picked up by MTV. I'm going to assume she'll be in a bikini the entire time unless their goal is to lose a shit-ton of money by boring their audience into comas. [PopSugar]

- Johnny Depp at the premiere of Public Enemies. For all the ladies who can't figure out what the deal is with Robert Pattinson. [Lainey Gossip]

- Isabel Lucas reportedly out-hots Megan Fox in the new Transformers movie. I'll be the judge of that - when it hits HBO. Don't forget to remind me. [Just Jared]

Thanks to Emily for the video that, while humorous, involved two minutes and 55 seconds too much of Spencer's face..

May 11 2009Jonathan Rhys Meyers & Donatella Versace?

- Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Donatella Versace? How the fuck does that even hap- Oh, right, he has a drinking problem. In that case, now would be a good time not to sober up. [Lainey Gossip]

- Octomom's upcoming surgery will actually make her more fertile instead of the opposite. Hopefully her surgeons are practicing their sincere "No, really, my hand slipped" faces. [Radar Online]

- Kevin Federline is flat broke despite receiving $20,000/month from Britney Spears. Really? Because K-Fed always had the look of a seasoned investor to me. Or am I thinking of Snuffleupagus again? [Celebslam]

- Beyonce fires somebody in the middle of a song while performing in the Netherlands. I'd say that's gotta be humiliating, but who the fuck knows where the Netherlands are? Oklahoma, maybe? [Just Jared]

- Britney Spears and her agent/rumored boyfriend go on mysterious car ride together. Or at least it was mysterious until they pulled into Wendy's and employees hosed Britney down with Frosty's. Then it all made sense. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Tori Spelling's husband buys her a new ring every year they're married. It reminds her of the first time he proposed to her - in a seedy hotel so his wife couldn't find them. Aww... [I'm Not Obsessed]

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Mar 31 2009Jonathan Rhys Meyers still making weird faces

It's been a while since Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his freakish stares have been on the site, so here he is at the third season premiere of The Tudors last night. I can't tell if he's sincerely trying to make his "beautiful face" for the camera or just convincing me he's a vampire. Either way I fashioned a crucifix out of those white thingies from the women's room. Who's on God's good side now, Nosferatu?

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Nov 19 2007Jonathan Rhys Meyers arrested

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested for public drunkenness and breach of peace at Dublin Airport on Sunday. The actor was displaying “erratic, abusive behavior” which led to his eventual arrest, according to USA Today:

Dublin Airport Police said they called Ireland's national police force, the Garda Siochana, after Rhys Meyers refused repeated requests to calm down.
Police charged him with two counts of violating the Public Order Act, then permitted him to pay an undisclosed cash bail on condition he return to Dublin District Court on Dec. 5 for his arraignment.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks like a coked-out version of Voldemort, so I’m convinced that Harry Potter showed up at some point to lend officers a hand. Of course, I was also convinced that the real Chewbacca would show up for my eighth birthday party. Instead my dad just got drunk and wore my mom’s fur coat. Though a lot of the sound effects were spot on, I’ll give him that. But things went downhill when Dad threw the neighbor kid into the TV because he “didn’t want the Viet-Cong reading his mind and stealing his secret recipe for whiskey on the rocks.” When I told him that wasn’t in Star Wars, he puked on the birthday cake then punched Grandpa in the foot. Man, having kids is awesome. I should get a girl pregnant. But not leave town after I find out this time.

Nov 12 2007Jonathan Rhys Meyers sees right through you

Jonathan Rhys Meyers attended the premiere of August Rush last night in New York. Way to stare directly into the camera. Makes me believe you’re not completely tripped out of your mind right now. Oh, hey, what’s that look? You’re a wizard now? And you’re looking into my soul? That is some freaky shit. Listen, there’s someone I want you to meet. His name is James Haven. Yeah, Angelina Jolie’s brother. I want to see what happens when you two occupy the same space. Maybe you’ll merge into one, or, God willing, explode.