Oct 25 2009John Mayer is f-cking everyone
Jennifer Aniston is getting John Mayer'd in the groin again, you say? Not so, says Hollyscoop:
John was spotted on a romantic date with actress Rashida Jones Friday night at the Chateau Marmont, Hollyscoop can confirm exclusively.
The couple was having dinner in a secluded area when John "took the guitar from someone who was performing and at the Chateau and performed an impromptu performance for Rashida."
His audience included Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. The crowd "went wild when he performed his new song," an eyewitness tells Hollyscoop exclusively. Mayer got such a great response from fellow diners, he even performed his hit "Your Body is a Wonderland" for Rashida.
Of course, the odds are significantly high this was a forgotten publicity stunt for I Love You, Man that accidentally went off, so let's assume John Mayer tried to French Jason Segel's anus and call it a wash. That work for everyone? Awesome. Moving on...
Oct 14 2009John Mayer still making out with dudes
Because Perez Hilton obviously wasn't enough, John Mayer is making out with dudes again. RadarOnline reports:
John was having a great time at the club, going wild to The Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling - being the center of attention as he downed beer and toasted his fellow revelers, men and girls alike.
But the jaw dropper was when, according to an eyewitness, a fellow male patron approached John and planted a big kiss right on his lips - and John seemed to enjoy it! The eyewitness says that that was when the whole place erupted and cheered.
It's not the first time John has locked lips with a guy, John has confessed in the past to making out with gay blogger Perez Hilton on New Year's Eve 2007. "You're damn right I made out with him," Mayer told a crowd in April. "I was thinking about going gay!"
And by "thinking about" John Mayer meant "already there, sillies!" Look, I've filtered an obscene amount of liquor through my liver and not once have I ever drunkenly thought "Hey, let's make out with a dude." Now, I've done all kinds of other crazy shit like driving around in my boxers, starting fights with midgets and having sex with women who ended up being swamp creatures, but at least they had vaginas. Or some sort of non-gay equivalent hole, you get my point.
Sep 11 2009Jennifer Connelly is nipplely and other news
- Matt Damon and Brad Pitt tell an Italian reporter George Clooney is gay. Nakedness ensues. [PopEater]
- Kate Hudson's lack of breasts has its advantages. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jaleel White has an entourage who feel they're entitled to things besides laughter and a high five from Reginald VelJohnson. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer still thinks it's ironic to dress like it's 1985. [PopSugar]
- Mischa Barton is still blaming her wisdom teeth for a trip to the psych ward. But then again she is crazy. [Celebitchy]
- Audrina Patridge has a stalker. Just in time for her new movie to open. Who could've predicted that besides pretty much everybody? [Wonderwall]
- Penelope Cruz does NOT have a miniature Javier Bardem in her uterus. [ICYDK]
- Jennifer Aniston wants to take time off from acting which is funny because I can't remember the last time I watched a movie with her in it. What was that one where they were always at that coffee shop? [Parade]
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Sep 10 2009John Mayer is not diddling Kristin Cavallari
John Mayer took to his Twitter last night to deny rumors he's sleeping with Kristin Cavallari (above) of The Hills:
Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis.
A fitting response, but just as was I starting to think John Mayer is only 95% douche, he kept going. Because why have one clever quip when you can make a bunch of lame ones and hope they reel in some Internet trim?
I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.
My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.
I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.
In hindsight, John Mayer could've probably saved himself a lot of time by simply tweeting "I need everyone to think I'm super hip, and in return, I'll pay off your credit bills after you touch my penis."
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Sep 9 2009Miranda Kerr is chesty and other news
- Nicole Kidman has finally Botoxed her way to a third lip. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katherine Heigl is adopting a baby. How long until she teaches it to badmouth Judd Apatow, Grey's Anatomy and pretty much anyone who will keep mommy relevant? [PopEater]
- John Mayer might also be having sex with Kristin Cavallari. I won't believe it until he Twitters/blogs/makes a viral video/gives a TMZ press conference about it. Ha ha. He loves himself. [Celebslam]
- Whitney Port is single. Hey, John Mayer, found another one for you! [PopSugar]
- Kate Moss made a drunken scene at the GQ awards in London last night. Of course, nobody saw it because she was standing behind a cocktail stirrer. [Celebitchy]
- Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones are saying "Fuck you, Barbara Walters" by starting their own talk show. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Hefner will attend Kendra Wilkinson's baby shower presumably for one last diaper change. She always used the right amount of powder. [Wonderwall]
Sep 9 2009Jessica Simpson rebounds with John Mayer
Because one man's trash is another man's penis holster, Jessica Simpson has reportedly rebounded with John Mayer who had dumped her years ago after he realized she has the sexual proclivity of an English muffin. InTouch reports:
An insider reveals that, in a state of desperation and loneliness, she's been secretly hooking up with her ex John Mayer, who unceremoniously dumped her in 2007 after they dated for a year. "They've always had an amazing connection," a business associate of Jessica's tells In Touch. Ignoring her friends' warnings that the notorious player will just use her and then break up with her again, Jessica has jumped headfirst into a relationship with the singer now that she and Tony, 29, split. "Jessica is kidding herself that her and John stand a chance," says a source.
It's sort of tragic being Jessica Simpson considering men only want to be with her for one reason and it's never to watch Shrek on loop until she figures out how they got the donkey to talk. Why won't somebody tell her?!
Aug 28 2009Kendra Wilkinson is definitely pregnant and other news
- Kendra Wilkinson poses with her baby bump and does she know we can see her nipples? [Kendra Wilkinson]
- Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy was trying to pick up chicks the day she announced her pregnancy. That kid is going to turn out awesome. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer gives to charity because he cares and not for some douchetastic ploy for attention. Or do I have those mixed up? [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Moss likes Gypsies, too. [Just Jared]
- Heidi Montag loves that Anderson Cooper trashed her on CNN. Of course. [PopEater]
- Madonna continues to swim fully clothed while showing Eastern Europe half her ass on stage. [PopSugar]
- Kelly Osbourne used to take 50 Vicodin a day. [Wonderwall]
- Irina Voronina claims she was fired from Entourage because she refused to flirt with the cast. Vince's Smelly Cock strikes again! [The Blemish]
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Aug 5 2009Leonardo DiCaprio shirtless and other news
- Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are engaged. Because what better way to learn how to suck the life out of someone than getting married? Method acting: Aww yeah! [Lainey Gossip]
- Joan Rivers zings Jon Gosselin. [PopEater]
- John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are most likely having empty, yet still awesome, sex again. [Celebslam]
- Brad Pitt used to bang Juliette Lewis - and drugs were involved. Phew. That makes sense. [The Blemish]
- Sienna Miller apologizes for sleeping with Balthazar Getty and claims she's not a "shagger." Oh yeah? Your G.I. Joe action figure says differently. What's that, tiny Baroness? You need a bigger man?! It's Lion-O isn't it? I'll never love again! *runs away crying* [PopSugar]
- Paris Hilton scored a guest spot on the CW's Supernatural. Ironically, she'll play a ghost who keeps coming back no matter how much penicillin you take. Good casting. [Just Jared]
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