Sep 9 2009Nicole Richie births a boy
Surprisingly tech savvy for just going through labor, Nicole Richie announced on her official blog that she gave birth to a baby boy this morning:
In the middle of night, the very early hours of September 9, 2009 Sparrow James Midnight Madden was born to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.
He weighs 7lbs 14oz. Nicole, Joel, Harlow and Sparrow are all doing well. Thank you for all of your good wishes.
Sparrow James Midnight. So was Silverhawk Cedric Teatime already taken? Because, congratulations on the new kid and everything, but you sort of half-assed this one. Just sayin'.
Jul 13 2009Nicole Richie in a bikini
Because pregnant women wearing bikinis seems to be a theme I can't escape for the life of me, here's Nicole Richie and Joel Madden on the beach in Malibu Sunday. Nothing like keeping a streak going, even if it's a losing one. Pregnant Again Nicole knows what I'm talking about
Apr 8 2009Zac Efron does one of those 'Funny or Die' videos. Guess what it falls under.
I've determined Funny or Die makes two types of videos (besides the obvious):
1. Whatever the hell kind of awesome this "leaked" version of Wolverine is.
2. Painfully long skits featuring tons of celebs who might as well be getting blown by the director - such as the above video starring Zac Efron. Because it's always so hilarious seeing stars "act" like they're being candid. I mean, Brody Jenner touting the liberal economic policies of Paul Krugman even though he's a spoiled white rich kid from Orange County? Oh, the delicious irony! Please kill me.
Feb 22 2009Nicole Richie pregnant again
Seen here leaving Cruz Beckham's birthday party Saturday, Joel Madden has announced that he's knocked up Nicole Richie again:
What's better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now.........
Of course, the news was posted on Good Charlotte's website, so God knows how long it's been there. Harlow 2's probably been born by now. And in college.
Jan 5 2009Benji Madden to ensure niece Harlow dates Mr. Right
Benji Madden has devoted himself to protecting the honor of his niece Harlow Winter Kate Madden, according to People:
"I'm going to be keeping a close eye on her," Madden, 29, tells PEOPLE of the daughter of twin brother Joel Madden and his girlfriend Nicole Richie, 27. "I'll leave the shotgun right by the door."
Anyone else find it ironic that the guy who had sex with Paris Hilton is going to be dishing out dating advice? Then again, he does have access to a great object lesson.
BENJI: Nice to meet you, Timmy. Now before you take my niece out, I want to teach you kids a lesson about pre-marital intercourse. *unzips pants*
TIMMY: Jesus! What did you do? Wrap it in tin-foil then put it in the microwave?
BENJI: Something like that.
Continue Reading "Benji Madden to ensure niece Harlow dates Mr. Right"
May 14 2008Nicole Richie wants Joel Madden's balls roasting on an open fire
First off, I'm not going to deny that I'm taking extreme pleasure in finally not being the one whose light-years behind on a story. (Thought I gotta admit, I'm pretty good at it.) Star, who can no longer remain smug in their finery, is just now reporting on the Joel Madden/Lindsay Lohan flirting debacle. Yeah, sure Star has inside details on Nicole Richie's reaction, but you know what I say to that? HA HA FRIST!:
The Good Charlotte rocker seemed more interested in a seductive Lindsay than in spinning records.
"Their heads were practically touching, and he had his leg over hers," says one onlooker. "Joel has a flirtatious side, and he definitely wasn't turning her away."
Making the situation worse, Nicole frantically tried to call Joel, but he wasn't answering his phone.
"He was so zeroed in on Lindsay, he never heard his cell ring," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Nicole felt so incredibly helpless and upset that she threw her phone against the wall in a rage."
I really can't fault Joel Madden for flirting with The Boobed One. When you look like Elmer Fudd's retarded twin brother, you take all the lady attention you can get. You know, before they sober up and realize Good Charlotte is a form of torture in some countries (i.e. This one.)
May 6 2008Lindsay Lohan stealing boyfriends AND fur coats?
Lindsay Lohan has gone from nympho (yay!) to klepto (aw.). Last night she was spotted getting close with Nicole Richie's man Joel Madden at Hornitos (above). But that's not her only caper. The New York Post is reporting that Lindsay allegedly ganked a fur coat from a Columbia student back in January. And has been photographed wearing the coat:
Masha Markova, 22, believed she had forever lost the prized jacket - a gift from her grandmother - while attending a private birthday party at 1Oak in the Meatpacking District in the early-morning hours of Jan. 26.
She added that at one point, she was seated next to Lohan, and recalled putting the mink in a common bin with other jackets. It was gone when she prepared to leave 1Oak after an hour, Markova said.
Two weeks later, Markova flipped through the Feb. 11 edition of OK! Magazine and couldn't believe her eyes - Lohan was photographed the night of Jan. 26 wearing the very same fur coat.
Masha, who is now seeking $10,000 in damages, eventually got the coat back after her lawyer contacted Lindsay's attorney Blaire Berk. 1Oak acted as a middleman for the transaction:
Reeking of cigarettes and booze with a slight tear in the lining, the fur coat was no worse for wear after a dry cleaning and quick patch-up.
Still, she wants answers - and Lohan to own up to swiping her coat.
"I don't see how it could have been an accident," Markova said.
But what about the pressing matter of Lindsay and new father Joel Madden? No big deal. You see, Nicole and Joel have a relationship built on trust. Nicole knows Joel will always come back home and stay faithful to his love. In the meantime, she's perfectly content staying in and shooting heroin while a complete stranger rears their child in a secluded part of the mansion. And people say family values are eroding in this country. Pfft. Hogwash.
Continue Reading "Lindsay Lohan stealing boyfriends AND fur coats?"
Apr 21 2008Paris Hilton wants a double wedding
Paris Hilton wants to have a double wedding with best friend Nicole Richie. The two would wed their respective hunchback Madden brothers Benji and Joel, according to Page Six:
Hilton, who is not even engaged to Benji, said she wants to do it in order to sell the pictures from the wedding and thinks she could rake in millions, said one pal. "She's doing it all for attention, as usual," said the friend. "It's a publicity stunt, just like everything else."
I don't give a rat's ass if this is a publicity stunt or not. I'm all for it. I mean, Jesus, talk about killing four birds with one stone/rocket launcher. *EEER-FOOSH* Oh my God, who shoots rockets at a wedding? *KABOOM* It must be that guy over there. The one who looks like Rambo crossed with Brad Pitt - and is holding a rocket launcher. *EEER-FOOSH* Why does he keep slathering his chest with shoe polish between shots? No one needs to be that sexy. *KABOOM* Aw, I'm Joel Madden and I'm totally dead.
*sigh* I love weddings.
