Oct 7 2009Katy Perry dresses like a 5 year old and other news
- Nick Nolte's son was arrested for DUI today. Lucky. The only thing my father and I ever did together was play catch and maintain open lines of communication. Way to be really there for me, dad. [PopEater]
- Dina Lohan launches Shoe-han and it's exactly as retarded as it sounds. [Lainey Gossip]
- Katie Price executes the always classic Britney Spears Umbrella attack. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Jennifer Lopez is "Lola" now. [Just Jared]
- Chris Brown is probably going to get sued by Wrigley's which totally ruins everyone's plans to make sure he suffers absolutely no consequences. Dammit, Wrigley's! [Celebslam]
- Shia LaBeouf meets Gordon Gekko. [PopSugar]
- Anna Nicole Smith was apparently our nation's most underrated acting talent. [The Blemish]
- Taylor Lautner just made Tom Cruise drop the shirt button he uses for a dinner plate. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Katy After the Jump
Continue Reading "Katy Perry dresses like a 5 year old and other news"
Aug 4 2009Jennifer Lopez in a bikini
Here's Jennifer Lopez vacationing in Italy this week and Jesus Christ! I feel like I'm staring directly into the Death Star. I'm not saying that thing can destroy whole planets, but I am saying a small rebel fleet could fly through that crack. No, really, George Lucas just stopped raping my childhood to approve this message:
[Insert CGI Indiana Jones revealing he's Jar Jar Binks here.] - G.L.
Ha! Good one, George. (I'm going to murder your face.)
Jul 24 2009Tara Reid is still a sloppy drunk and other news
- Jessica Simpson is looking happy. A little too happy. Which means the McRib's back. Aww yeah! [Lainey Gossip]
- Jennifer Lopez turned 40 today. 40?! So, wait, 10 years ago I was fantasizing about a 30 year old woman's ass? Ahh, gross. Remind me to go back in time and burn myself. Sick. [PopSugar]
- Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault charges for attacking a dancer trying to take her picture. Wait. Who's Amy Winehouse again? More importantly, does she have 800 Asian children? That shit is so in right now. [PopEater]
- Kelly Clarkson continues her journey to become a modern day Mama Cass. Someone hide the ham sandwiches. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna goes for the Ace Ventura look. Oh re-e-e-ally? -- Shoot me. Shoot me now. [The Blemish]
- Gwyneth Paltrow debones a chicken on GOOP. That "DAYAMN!" you just heard was Colonel Sanders' ghost who just informed me he'd "eleven herbs dat ass." [Just Jared]
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May 12 2009Katie Price likes to drink
- Peter Andre blames Katie Price's drinking for their divorce. Hey, what else is a married, giant-breasted woman supposed to do all day? She didn't buy those things to clean the oven with. Or did she? Because mine's looking a bit dingy... [Allie is Wired]
- Heidi Klum and Seal renew their vows by dressing up like who the fuck knows what? On a happier note, Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge now know a new level of fancy. [Best Week Ever]
- Lady GaGa continues to push boundaries - by appearing on Ellen. Next stop, Regis & Kelly, bitches! [Videogum]
- Shanna Moakler looks a bit pissed today. Why do I get the feeling Donald Trump is about to get a heel to the testicles? But for free this time. [Jezebel]
- Jennifer Lopez is still making music? And Skeletor allows this? Huh. I thought there'd only Latin singing sensation allowed in that relationship. And it's their gay pool boy Ricky Martin. -- He's had a rough year. [PopSugar]
- Dakota Fanning gets her Twilight on. Apparently the sequel has flying bat children. Neat. [ICYDK]
Apr 2 2009Jennifer Lopez > Kim Kardashian
Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian took their respective asses out on the town last night, and give me the aerobically toned J-Butt any day. Not that I'm suggesting these two engage in an epic ass-off because, after the dust settled, there'd only be one loser: Civilization. And, okay, chairs.
Apr 1 2009J-Lo & Marc Anthony skip adoption, go straight for baby snatching
While other stars are battling mountains of red tape trying to adopt children, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are just straight stealing 'em from unsuspecting couples. I mean, why risk filling out paperwork only to have authorities figure out your husband's an alien from the Picante Quadrant sent to Earth to learn the secrets of our professional hair-care products? That's just crazy talk.
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Feb 16 2009Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony still married
In a blatant effort to shoot down rumors they were divorcing on Valentine's Day, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were photographed extensively in public this weekend. And, wow, thank God. Because I don't know about you, but I've been curled up under my desk with my fingers crossed these two stay together. Who wants to live in a world where Jennifer Lopez weasels out of her deal with Satan and gets to leave Marc Anthony? Seriously.
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Jan 21 2009Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony use Inauguration to quiet divorce rumors
You might have thought last night was about Barack Obama becoming the first black president? But, nope, it's not. It's about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony using the Inaugural Ball to make everyone believe they're happily married. People reports:
Earlier in the evening, Anthony had said, "I wrote this next song about Jennifer. I must have been psychic." The song was his decade-old "You Sang to Me."
"She didn't get the point, but eventually it worked," said Anthony, the Associated Press reports.
The couple ended their duet with a kiss. "Man, she's cute," Anthony said after Lopez exited the stage.
Typical. This is just like that time they showed up to Prince Adam's birthday and sang a duet instead of letting Orko do his magic show. Damn youse, Skeletor!
Continue Reading "Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony use Inauguration to quiet divorce rumors"
