Feb 15 2009Rihanna & Chris Brown are the topic of conversation
Rihanna and Chris Brown's fathers spoke to the media this weekend along with Jay-Z who helped launch Rihanna's career. Here's what they had to say about the alleged assault that occurred last week. (Via People.):
Jay-Z:
"You have to have compassion for others. Just imagine it being your sister or mom and then think about how we should talk about that. I just think we should all support her. She's going through a tough time. You have to realize she's a young girl, as well. She's very young."
Joseph Fenty, Rihanna's father:
"There is some bruising. She will be all right. I think so. At some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world."
Fenty, a salesman and freelance clothing designer, said Rihanna is spending time with her girlfriends in Barbados while she heals. While Fenty said he wouldn't tell his daughter what to do, he did say, "If it were me, I'd move on."
Clinton Brown, Chris Brown's father:
"He's very remorseful. He's very concerned about the situation and he wants to make sure that [Rihanna's] okay. This is unfortunate, this stumble, this situation. Hopefully, he will get past it. We all have our shortcomings. We all trip."
"If you are on his side, you are on his side," he says. "Just because someone trips, if you are truly a fan, you are not going to demonize him instantaneously."
Dear Chris Brown,
You know what's an awesome way of knowing your girlfriend's okay? NOT punching her in the face.
That one's on the house,
The Superficial Writer
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Feb 9 2009Gwyneth Paltrow is sparkly
Gwyneth Paltrow attended Jay-Z's post-Grammy bash at Katsuya last night where I'm going to correctly assume she said a bunch of insipid stuff in a British accent:
JAY-Z: That's a lovely outfit.
GWYNETH: Why thank you. It behooved me to dress accordingly for your American Hip-Hop soiree. I'm quite the "Ho for sure," aren't I? A ha ha ha.
JAY-Z: .... Okay, for real, who invited Gwyneth Paltrow?
CHRIS MARTIN: Not me!
May 1 2008BEYONCE IS PREGNANT! (Or at least rumored to be which will probably happen every other week just to give you guys a heads up. I guess I should write the post now. This parenthesis is getting out of hand. OH GOD it stole my coffee!)
Hollyscoop claims to have exclusive information that Jay-Z now has 100 problems and a kid is one. Beyonce is reportedly pregnant which led to the clandestine nuptials in early April:
A source close to the couple revealed, "Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding." The source also told Hollyscoop that all the friends and family that attended the ultra private wedding were all aware that Beyonce was already expecting. Our source added that Beyonce is in her early stages, but don’t expect this star to come out with a confirmation statement anytime soon.... They rushed the wedding due to Beyonce's strong Christian beliefs.
Listen, kids, getting pregnant is no reason to get married. That's just crazy talk. If the movie Juno has taught me anything, it's that getting knocked up can be a hilarious, super-indie experience that's fun for the whole family. Ha ha! Now excuse me while I duct-tape Diablo Cody's hands back to the stripper pole before she writes again.
Apr 7 2008Beyonce & Jay-Z: Married? Or just into really elaborate jokes that have no foreseeable punchline in sight like this headline?
Unless you drank yourself into a coma on Friday and are therefore my new Messiah, you probably heard the reports of Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles allegedly having a secret wedding. While no one has confirmed the marriage, Mary J. Blige let the cat out of the bag while performing with Jay-Z in North Carolina Saturday night. OK! Magazine reports:
"Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," the singer announced to the audience at the beginning of her set at the Greensboro Coliseum.
And while no grand announcement was made during Jay-Z's time on stage, eyewitness sources confirm to OK! that the former Destiny's Child singer did make the trip to Greensboro with her new hubby.
I always figured if Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles got married it'd be inside a submarine made of diamonds. Then, when it sank to the bottom (Diamonds make shitty nautical crafts.), everyone would shake their heads and say, "Thank God Kim Kardashian's still alive." I'm such a hopeless romantic sometimes.
Mar 22 2007Jay-Z is a man of his word
Four years ago Jay-Z made a bet with Playboy editor Rob Tannenbaum for 50-1 odds that he'd never come out of retirement and took $20 from him at the time. Well Jay-Z did come out of retirement with the release of "Kindom Come" so Tannenbaum gave his assistant a call to remind him of the wager and last week a messenger sent him $1,000 from Jay-Z's office.
"Jay-Z is a man of his word. I just bought a plasma TV with the money, and the first thing I'm going to watch on it is a Jay-Z video."
When you've got $12 bajillion in the bank paying off a $1,000 bet isn't going to hurt that much, but it's still impressive that Jay-Z kept his word. If it was me I would've pretended that I forgot about the bet, then went for a swim in my pool filled with money and had brunch with my solid gold robot servants.
Dec 8 2006Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe not getting married
A rep for Beyonce is denying reports she's turning a Caribbean birthday party for Jay-Z into a wedding with him. A spokeswoman for Jay-Z backed the statement saying she had no knowledge of any approaching nuptials. Which is good news because if Jay-Z and Beyonce got married it'd be a travesty against nature. You don't see unicorns marrying opossums. Sure, maybe it's because one is a mythological creature. But maybe it's because deep down they know in their hearts their love can never be.
Dec 5 2006Beyonce and Jay-Z maybe getting married
Sources are saying that the four-day "surprise" birthday party Beyonce is throwing for Jay-Z next weekend will actually be a wedding.
"Beyonce is throwing Jay a four-day birthday party, but it's really a wedding," said one source. Guests, including family and close friends, were told to have passport applications filed by last Friday so they can attend the bash on a yacht in St. Barts. But insiders said the guests will also be ferried over to Anguilla for the wedding at Cap Juluca, a five-star resort with Moorish villas. Another spy said Knowles and Jay-Z had toured the site earlier this year and approved it for their nuptials.
Jay-Z is cool and all, but he's not somebody you marry. Mostly because you have sex with people you marry and his face looks like it was made while God was drunk. Like God was stumbling around the office going, "Well he's got two eyes. And a nose. And a mouth. Ahh, that's good enough." And then God passed out on the sofa and nine months later out popped Jay-Z.
Nov 21 2006Paris Hilton pukes on stage
According to Joshua Radin, Paris Hilton was "performing" in Las Vegas when she puked on stage. Radin was in Vegas with the cast of "Scrubs" and went to a club to see Jay-Z perform. He writes on his MySpace:
"Paris Hilton ...was sitting next to me the whole night. Seriously, next to me, like our legs were touching for a good 5 hours," Radin wrote on his MySpace site. "Now don't get the wrong idea. She never once said hello, nor even looked in my direction. Five hours. And it was unreal to watch. She must have pulled a compact out of her bag every 6 minutes to stare at herself and pose while Jay-Z was performing 18 inches from us." When Jay-Z left the stage, according to Radin, it was Hilton's moment. "Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from [a] Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her 'record' on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs," writes Radin. "She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves. . . I find the music business charming."
The sad thing is that's probably the best performance Paris Hilton has ever given. The audience was probably like, "Who is this? I came here to see Paris Hilton but my ears aren't leaking blood. And I'm actually entertained." And then they'd fall to their knees, raising their fists in anger shouting at the heavens, "Who is this?!" Then they'd go home and kill themselves because they just admitted they actually wanted to see Paris Hilton perform.
