Aug 26 2009Mary-Louise Parker outside Letterman and other news
- Miley Cyrus is a player. Didn't they stone women for that in the Bible? Just sayin'. [Lainey Gossip]
- Linda Hogan wants Hulk thrown in jail if he doesn't give her the Harley he promised in the divorce settlement. [PopEater]
- Leonardo DiCaprio asked to drop 30 pounds for his role in Inception. This is what happens when you hang out with Russell Crowe. [Wonderwall]
- Jessica Simpson is eyeing up another quarterback. To date. To date. Not to slap on a hoagie roll. [Celebslam]
- Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene bailed on a Twilight convention in Jersey. Of course, this would mean something if either of them could magically morph into Robert Pattinson. Or Harry Potter with new Dry-Humping Action. [Just Jared]
- Channing Tatum's stripper days returns to haunt him. And also show people he can emote. Who knew? [PopSugar]
- Katie Price hasn't cried once over her divorce from Peter Andre. Mostly because she's a robot sent from the future to promote literacy with her bionic breasts. I'm suddenly feeling my reading comprehension skills slipping. Help me, Katie-tron! [Socialite Life]
- Eddie Cibrian has filed for divorce AND is seeking spousal support. Classy. [Splash News]
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Jun 5 2009Jessica Simpson isn't entirely frightening me anymore
- Jessica Simpson has not eaten Tony Romo yet. Just keeping everybody updated. [Lainey Gossip]
- Emilie de Ravin (LOST) is divorcing her husband just in time to star in a movie with Robert Pattinson. Hopefully they remember not to get pregnant on the island. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton's first BFF Brittany Flickinger hates that the short-lived friendship has ruined her reputation. Right. Because Paris was such a shining beacon of inspiration before Brittany auditioned. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Hulk Hogan is pissed at Linda's accusations that he smokes pot with Brooke and her boyfriend. He only makes them smuggle HGH across the border for him. Get your facts straight, lady. [Celebslam]
- Kristin Cavallari is getting an insane amount of money to replace Lauren Conrad. Apparently it's hard work pretending to be so goddamn boring time and space bend around your boringness creating a vapid vortex of dumb that will one day engulf our universe. -- Fucking Hills. [I'm Not Obsessed]
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May 6 2009Brooke Hogan: 21 Years of Hiding a Penis
Brooke Hogan celebrated her 21st birthday last night at Pure Nightclub in Vegas, and you'd think Hulk would give her a night off from doing the inevitable creepy double-kiss photo. Then again, I'm not practically committing incest with a clone of my daughter, so what do I know? In the meantime, Brooke needs to fire her stylist for making her look more manly than Chuck Norris eating a steak. You can almost hear the penis-tape peeling away just looking at these pics.
Scope Out (4) More Pics of Brooke's Birthday After The Jump
Apr 28 2009Hulk Hogan's ex cashes in on OJ comment
Hulk Hogan's ex-wife Linda is jumping all over his comment that he thought about going OJ on her. She's using the remark to squeeze more money out of their divorce settlement, according to TMZ:
Linda Hogan just filed papers in Pinellas County, Fla. claiming she needs an additional $8,200 a month from Hulk so she can move "thousands of miles away" from him because Linda feels she's in "imminent danger of becoming a victim."
She's also asking for $24,000 for "advanced rent and security deposits" to set up shop in sunny California.
Or here's a thought, Linda, if you're really scared of Hulk you can move somewhere modest and quiet that's not only affordable but far, far away from the public eye. -- Wait, why did she run out of the room screaming? Is Hulk wielding a knife behind me? Oh, I said "affordable." Whoops.
Apr 16 2009Hulk Hogan starting to regret O.J. comment
Thanks to his own divorce, Hulk Hogan is starting to regret revealing in a Rolling Stone interview that he understood why O.J. killed Nicole Brown-Simpson and thought about doing the same thing to his ex-wife Linda and her 19-year-old boyfriend Charley. Linda's lawyers have, naturally, jumped all over the comment. TMZ reports:
"We have always maintained that the fear that Linda has had to live with comes from the rage and instability much too often associated with pro wrestlers." The statement goes on: "Linda and her family are taking these recent homicidal comments seriously."
The statement concludes by saying Linda's attorney is weighing his legal options.
Hulk defended himself to TMZ reporters who caught up with him last night:
Last night in Clearwater, FL the Hulkster said his Rolling Stone interview was a 3-day long affair, in which he said he was really the anti-OJ Simpson. But here's the thing. Last night, he explained, "I didn't do the OJ Simpson thing. I took the high road."
I don't really think there's a high and a low road when it comes to murdering your ex-wife. Then again, this is coming from a guy who believed it was "God's will" that his son put another kid in a coma in a drunk drag race crash. I guess what I'm getting at is, someone should hide the knives.
Apr 15 2009Hulk Hogan: 'O.J. Simpson had the right idea'
Hulk Hogan's lawyer should probably teach the Hulkster about premeditated murder, because he just openly admitted to wanting to go O.J. on his ex-wife Linda and her boyfriend Charley, according to Page Six:
"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat," he told the magazine. "You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it."
Here's where O.J. was smart, Hulk, while you're obviously distracted from having sex with Brooke's clone: The Juice had the foresight to kill his ex-wife without announcing his plans during the divorce proceedings thus costing him precious money he needed to beat murder charges. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go through with it, just know you're working with a severe handicap and pretty much gave up the element of surprise. Then again, these two don't look like readers, so hang in there. No one likes a quitter.
Mar 16 2009Hulk Hogan is kind of f-cked up
Here's Hulk Hogan laying a kiss on his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel after watching his daughter Brooke "perform" Sunday. Or is that Brooke? I mean, Jesus, how can you tell? Plus the Hulk's pretty old, so how does he know when to go for the butt grab? Or am I wrong in assuming that's even a thought process?
"Blonde Girl. Smooch. Butt grab."
"Blonde Girl. Smooch. Butt grab."
"Blonde Girl. Smooch. Butt gra-WHOA! Sorry, Nick. -- But not really."
Nov 22 2008Linda Hogan wants Hulk to pay her boyfriend's tuition
When Old Lady McGrossBoobs isn't pretending to be Paris Hilton, she spends her free time trying to sue Hulk Hogan into paying for shit. She currently rakes in $40 grand a month in spousal support, but how can she send her boytoy Charley to sea school on such paltry funds? I mean, Christ, where's the humanity? TMZ reports:
Charley Hill wants to go to sea school, and Linda wants Hulk to pay for what could be the next Captain & Tennille. Getting back to why $40,000 isn't enough, Linda blew $14 grand at a Bev Hills Doctor's office this week. Hulk says it's for cosmetic surgery.
Sea school, huh? I'm guessing Charley wants to be around some fresh fish for a change. Um, because he loves Red Lobster so much. Yeah, that's exactly what I meant...
NOTE: Christina Aguilera in five years. I'm calling it.
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