Oct 6 2009Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news
- Nancy Grace lunches on Jon Gosselin's balls. [PopEater]
- Don Draper kicks the shit out of non-fictional men. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelly Bensimon needs to stop working out. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Paris Hilton will answer the age-old question: Can ghosts get chlamydia? [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson's DUI has been expunged from his record which proves the Jews don't control every facet of the government after all. Just the police. (Drive carefully, SugarTits.) [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow does Paris Fashion Week. [PopSugar]
- Kristen Stewart poses for Allure. [ICYDK]
- Beyonce talks about the Kanye VMA incident and how awesome it was Universal Music. Okay, maybe that last part was implied. Telepathically. [Wonderwall]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Kristen After the Jump
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Oct 1 2009Gwen Stefani likes small children to see her bra at the park and other news
- Jude Law's dramatic reading of Lady GaGa's "Poker Face." [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow gives investment advice to the peasants. Splendid. [Lainey Gossip]
- La Toya Jackson looks like Michael Jackson with breast implants. Where was she during Jesus Juice time? That's what I'm saying. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Kristin Cavallari says Brody Jenner was "very vanilla" in bed. I would've assumed he was more Cookies n' Douche. [Celebslam]
- Reese Witherspoon's chin is getting out of hand. Look, she almost stabbed Paul Rudd! Then who's going to star in every Judd Apatow movie? [PopSugar]
- Rachel Bilson wears jorts. [Just Jared]
- Rose McGowan has ditched Robert Rodriguez. Awesome, now somebody with breasts can play Barbarella as God intended it. [WonderWall]
- Leighton Meester, Blake Lively hasn't made me forget about you. Completely. For the most part. [ICYDK]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Gwen After the Jump
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Sep 20 2009Halle Berry is hot and other news
- Jon Gosselin's "sex appeal" is explained with absolutely no mention of a penis wrapped in hundred dollar bills being presented on the back of an ATV. So take it with a grain of salt. [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow returns to tell the unwashed masses how to live their pitiful peasant lives. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis and Malin Ackerman pose for the cover of Self. Man, I would've loved to have been a fly on all those breasts. Bzzzz! [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson broods in the rain. [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan can sleep easier. Police arrested one of the three burglars who stole a wall safe from her home. They're still looking for two other women which everyone knows was really Lindsay so coked up she appeared to be standing in two places at once in surveillance footage. You heard it here first. [Celebslam]
- January Jones wants to keep her vagina private. [Wonderwall]
- Jay-Z defends Kanye West on BBC Radio. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Halle After the Jump
Sep 8 2009Gwyneth Paltrow has breast-like objects
Here's Gwyneth Paltrow shopping in Barcelona over the weekend, and I'm not gonna lie, I downloaded these based on the thumbnails that led me to believe her bare breasts were GOOPing out of her shirt. Turns out it's a nude colored bra which is a giant kick in my nuts. Imagine you're a small child coming downstairs on Christmas morning expecting a tree full of presents only to find out your mom's really a dude and you were adopted during a drunken weekend in San Frans. But why are there pictures of you breastfeeding? That about sums it up.
Aug 20 2009Jay-Z runs some sort of town and other news
- Gwyneth Paltrow GOOPs all over the Internet. [Lainey Gossip]
- Sting's daughter completely murders his image. [PopEater]
- Paris Hilton ducks $8 million lawsuit. Still has the clap. [PopSugar]
- Joan Rivers won't be alone in a kitchen with Mel Gibson. Her words. [Splash News]
- Sarah Jessica Parker gives Madonna a run for her money for the title of "Hands that I'd Rather Saw My Penis Off Before I Let Them Touch Me." [Celebslam]
- Michael Jackson's brothers might get their own reality show. Of course. [Socialite Life]
- Renee Zellweger's face hurts me. [Just Jared]
- Lady GaGa wears vampire teeth now. I guess this was the next logical step. Followed by a propeller beanie. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Aug 17 2009Tyra Banks joins a flash mob and other news
- Jesus Luz earns his paycheck at Madonna's 51st birthday dinner. [Splash News]
- Jessica Simpson is NOT replacing Paula Abdul. Is it because she can't read? That's discrimination! [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow used to be in on the jokes. Now she's the ass end. [Lainey Gossip]
- Tom Cruise's white sneakers: A revealing look. [Celebslam]
- Michael Vick is now blogging his apology. Jesus Christ. The man has to play for the shitass Eagles now. Hasn't he suffered enough? (Note: I'm being facetious. About the suffering enough part.) [Just Jared]
- Gwen Stefani is a recent mother of two yet I don't suspect her of hiding fried chicken in her purse. Just throwing that out there. [PopSugar]
- Mark Wahlberg's lungs are made of vaginas. [The Blemish]
Continue Reading "Tyra Banks joins a flash mob and other news"
Aug 12 2009Gary Coleman must be broke as shit and other news
- Chris Brown is truly suffering for beating the shit out of Rihanna. I mean, he went to the club last night without an entourage. I thought we were done torturing as a nation? [Got your back, Lainey.]
- Heidi Montag still hasn't told her dad she's posing in Playboy so she can maintain her "Christian values." My brain just folded in on itself after typing that sentence. I drool now. [Socialite Life]
- Jack Nicholson's decrepit body has sex with women. Yet somehow I find this less improbable than Jon Gosselin's neverending poon train. [Celebslam]
- Alessandra Ambrosio licking an ice cream cone. There is a God. [The Blemish]
- Gwyneth Paltrow's cooking videos are like "watching paint dry," according to Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel. Which is ironic considering that show is like watching middle-aged women's vaginas dry. Too real? [Just Jared]
- Shia LaBeouf's masturbation problem is solved! [PopSugar]
- Criss Angel is still alive despite Internet rumors to the contrary and this voodoo doll I told Britney Spears was a hot dog. [PopEater]
Thanks to Katrina for the photo submission except now I'm hungry for French fries with a side of sadness sauce.
Aug 6 2009Eric Dane shirtless and other news
- Michael Jackson had a blood-soaked shirt in his closet and people think this is weird? It's Michael Jackson. I'm surprised they didn't find Short Round from Indiana Jones in there. "Twenty years it take you to find me, Doctor Jones?! What the hell?" [PopEater]
- Ryan Gosling wearing a sleeveless shirt on a motorcycle. In case Eric Dane up top wasn't enough for you. [Lainey Gossip]
- Gwyneth Paltrow refers to people as "roaches." Adorable. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna will perform on the premiere of The Jay Leno Show in September. Provided Chris Brown doesn't beat her to it. Ha! Too soon? [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson seen speeding away from Kristen Stewart's house. Which can only mean one thing: They played Scrabble. SCANDALOUS! [PopSugar]
- Paula Abdul might be babysitting for the Obama girls. Wow. From judging American Idol to being a maid/nanny. And I thought alcoholism only lead to cool shit. Like jail. Or a funny STD that you'll laugh about with your friends. [I'm Not Obsessed]
