Oct 5 2009Jessica Biel films 'The A-Team' and other news
- Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise go for a run. Because a couple who jogs together stays together as long as someone keeps batteries in the shock collar. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna thinks she's Lady GaGa now. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Lady GaGa thinks she's Rihanna now. Are we in a bad 80s movie? [PopEater]
- Nicole Richie gets rear-ended by a paparazzo. [Just Jared]
- Simon Cowell apparently throws a bitching party. [Celebslam]
- George Clooney demonstrates how he catches cocktail waitress in the wild. [PopSugar]
- Mo'Nique admits she'd eat an Oscar if she won one. [The Blemish]
- Dita Von Teese probably never wants to see another WonderBra again. Or Marilyn Manson's penis covered in white make-up if we're making a list. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Jessica After the Jump
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Sep 11 2009Jennifer Connelly is nipplely and other news
- Matt Damon and Brad Pitt tell an Italian reporter George Clooney is gay. Nakedness ensues. [PopEater]
- Kate Hudson's lack of breasts has its advantages. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jaleel White has an entourage who feel they're entitled to things besides laughter and a high five from Reginald VelJohnson. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer still thinks it's ironic to dress like it's 1985. [PopSugar]
- Mischa Barton is still blaming her wisdom teeth for a trip to the psych ward. But then again she is crazy. [Celebitchy]
- Audrina Patridge has a stalker. Just in time for her new movie to open. Who could've predicted that besides pretty much everybody? [Wonderwall]
- Penelope Cruz does NOT have a miniature Javier Bardem in her uterus. [ICYDK]
- Jennifer Aniston wants to take time off from acting which is funny because I can't remember the last time I watched a movie with her in it. What was that one where they were always at that coffee shop? [Parade]
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Sep 8 2009Kim Kardashian's only talent and other news
- George Clooney actually looks pussy-whipped at the Venice Film Festival. I smell an impostor. Pull his beard off! [Lainey Gossip]
- Gavin Rossdale thinks leather pants are suitable attire for a tennis match. Then again, he sticks his penis in Gwen Stefani. Carry on. [Just Jared]
- Tyra Banks is apparently bald. [PopEater]
- Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend hangs out with Kevin Federline now. Which means he's either learning how to cash a support check at the liquor store or which sweatpants hold the most chicken wings. [Celebslam]
- Cameron Diaz and Seth Rogen film The Green Hornet. [PopSugar]
- Mischa Barton maintains a strict fitness regimen. With Big Macs. [The Blemish]
- Karina Smirnoff and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are no longer having insane dancer sex that would break most mere mortal's bones. (Note: Talking about you people. Not me. Karina?) [Socialite Life]
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Aug 27 2009Kim Kardashian is a water goddess and other news
- Chris Brown will appear on Larry King Live - with his mommy and lawyer beside him. Seriously, how big of a pussy is this kid that he's afraid of questions from an octogenarian? Give it to me straight. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jeremy Piven has been vindicated for his departure from the David Mamet play Speed the Plow after an arbiter ruled he did not breach his contract. After the proceedings, the arbiter was generously tipped with Entourage Season 2 on DVD and is now suing to reverse his decision. [PopEater]
- Kristen Stewart is getting naked in an upcoming independent film. Now you ladies can see what your dear Edward's been hitting while your boyfriend masturbates under a blanket. It's the perfect date movie! [Celebslam]
- Natalie Portman enjoys rap songs about penises. Seriously. [PopSugar]
- Kate Gosselin makes Target employees escort her to car as if their lives aren't shitty enough. Nice one. [Just Jared]
- Anne Heche hates her ex-husband. Maybe you've heard. [The Blemish]
- Shania Twain proves she's learned her lesson about men - by getting married again. Smart! [ICYDK]
- George Clooney broke his hand after accidentally slamming it in a car door. And by car door I mean 20 naked cocktail waitresses. [Wonderwall]
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Jul 8 2009James Franco knows how to give a speech
- George Clooney and Bill Murray party together? If there was ever a time to be a stripper, it's now, ladies. Ha, just kidding. It's always time to be a stripper. Now who wants dollar bills? [Lainey Gossip]
- Elizabeth Taylor might have aided Michael Jackson's prescription drug addictions. Probably by showing him her vagina and giving him chronic night terrors. So that's how he turned white... [PopEater]
- Kevin Federline has gained 85 pounds since his divorce from Britney Spears and even she's making fun of his weight which is almost hilarious if it weren't immediate grounds for suicide. No, seriously, Kevin, I don't care if you have to cover the gun in chocolate. It's time. [Celebslam]
- Kiefer Sutherland once encouraged a friend to keep acting. By punching him in the face. I don't care how much it costs, we need to get this man a tank, a missile silo full of Old Granddad and let him solve all the world's problem. Preferably before he drives drunk off a bridge, so time's a factor. [The Blemish]
- Cameron Diaz might be in that Green Hornet movie with Seth Rogen. Finally, a leading lady I can believe he has a chance with. With only half a bottle of roofies. [Just Jared]
- Mariah Carey apologizes for her performance at Michael Jackson's memorial. Too late now, Mariah. The man will only die once. -- Or will he? [ICYDK]
- Lindsay Lohan is going to be a celebrity judge on Project Runway? Okay, sure. Because when I think of fashion, I think of an anorexic coke addict who constantly wears black leggings. You can't teach that kind of style. Without becoming an alcoholic at 15. True story. [PopSugar]
Jun 3 2009Bar Rafaeli gets naked-like for Esquire
- George Clooney bags another cocktail waitress. I don't like to brag but I've brought home a few barmaids in my day, and only two ended up having penises. In your face, Clooney! [Lainey Gossip]
- Kevin Federline is making $30,000 to bang his girlfriend in London while pretending to watch his kids which pretty much kicks the shit out of any of Jesus' miracles. Sure, he brought a dead guy back to life, but did he get paid? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Amy Winehouse's months-long vacation in St. Lucia is being funded by her record label in hopes she'll shit out another album. So far the only things that've come out are two jet skis, a Yeti and Pete Doherty. So that's where he's been. [Celebslam]
- Stephanie Pratt is dating Asher Roth who happens to be, I can't believe I'm typing this, Spencer's rap rival. How the entire hip-hop industry hasn't been a gun in its mouth is beyond me. [Just Jared]
- Cameron Diaz admits to getting a nose job and wishes she could have a bigger butt. Has she tried attacking Kim Kardashian with a chisel? Just a thought. [I'm Not Obsessed]
May 22 2009Jon & Kate Plus Televised Marriage Counseling
- Jon & Kate Gosselin are letting TLC tape their marriage counseling sessions. You know what they should tape? The child support hearings. Mostly because I've always wanted to see the look of a man forced to pay $1 million/month and wear a court-ordered condom for the rest of his life. [Jezebel]
- Miranda Kerr in a bikini. Or at least part of her and Orlando Bloom, so we'll call it a draw. [The Blemish]
- Robert Pattinson's kiss went for $25,000 at the AmFAR benefit in Cannes. Dammit, Tom Cruise, that money was for the Children's E-meter Center! [Lainey Gossip]
- Fergie forgets to remove her Matrix tube. Must've been in a hurry to make out with chicks. With her penis. [Just Jared]
- Spencer Pratt just found out he has low blood platelets. That's fatal, right? Say "yes." [ICYDK]
- George Clooney sunbathing. Surprisingly absent? 500 topless cocktail waitresses. I looked up to you, man! [PopSugar]
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May 6 2009Rihanna flees to the east coast
- Rihanna hunts for apartments in New York while Chris Brown hunts for a new woman. Literally. He's got a tranq gun. [ICYDK]
- George Clooney was apparently America's handsomest baby. At least that's what all seven nurses in the delivery room said after the sex. [PopSugar]
- Miss California might be stripped of her title for making unauthorized appearances campaigning against gay marriage and posing nude while underage. For those keeping score at home, add "jaiblait porn" to the list of things Jesus approves of besides gay marriage. [Best Week Ever]
- Bristol Palin says she's for abstinence now after becoming The Candies Foundation Teen Ambassador. Still got that Jesus list out? Add "marketing sexy perfume to young girls" and "blatant hypocrisy." I'm thinking somewhere between "blatant hypocrisy" and "fake tits." [Jezebel]
- Natalie Portman gets interviewed by Zach Galifianakis. In related news, I don't smoke near enough weed. [Allie is Wired]
- Nicole Kidman's Schweppe's commercial doesn't really sell soft drinks as much as it encourages teaching young Indian girls to cocktease strange men. Fun Fact: I'm not joking. [Videogum]
