Sep 28 2009Fred Durst is divorced already

After roughly three months of marriage, Fred Durst announced on his Twitter today that his marriage to Esther Nazarov is over:

For those of you inquiring I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our seperate ways and we both thank you for your support.

So I'm going to go ahead and assume Esther woke up one morning and realized she doesn't hate her father anymore. In a way, it's almost like Fred Durst is providing a service to women - once you ignore all the sex he has with them which they're going to want to repress as soon as possible. That said, I don't normally advocate the use of heroin, but sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to forget Fred Durst intercoursed you.

Jul 19 2009Fred Durst gets married

Fred Durst apparently married his girlfriend Esther Nazarov in Vegas Tuesday, according to his Twitter page:

Cheers to the universe from me and my lovely wife Esther Durst!! We are now one and complete. :o)
1:09 PM Jul 16th from Tweetie

Of course, it took about three days for news to surface because nowhere in this story does an entire Asian soccer team fall out of someone's vagina. Also, does anybody really remember Limp Bizkit? Be honest.

Mar 20 2009Fred Durst hops back on the Britney Spears publicity train

With a new movie hitting theaters and a Limp Bizkit revival in the works, what better time for Fred Durst to talk about how he allegedly banged Britney Spears in 2003 and, surprise, knew she was crazy all along - based solely on the fact she denied the whole thing. Of course. MTV News reports:

The confusion over the affair still remains with Durst, and the rocker points to the episode as one of the first in a long line of erratic episodes for Spears. "I look back on it as very interesting [in terms of] how things have been sort of unraveling for her since," he said. "[But] it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. [Still], I'm a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now.
"Her own decisions and different things in her life, people can judge her all they want, but she has an extreme presence and when she's giving it, it's really good," he continued. "I don't think you can really write her off and I just think it'd be silly for people to think that they could. Everything kind of works in cycles and I think she's an example of how those things work."
For Durst, summing up the incident may all boil down to one underlying theme. "I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her," he laughs.

Let's give a round of applause to Fred Durst for discovering the "Britney Spears Loophole." Say anything you want about her past, and when she denies it, just say she's crazy. On that note, Britney Spears still owes me ten million dollars from a high-stakes game of Hungry Hungry Hippos in 2005.

Continue Reading "Fred Durst hops back on the Britney Spears publicity train"

Oct 8 2007Fred Durst is still alive!? Son of a…

Our country is at war. Global warming is increasing at an alarming rate. Gas prices are on the rise. All stuff I can pretty much learn to deal with. What I am having trouble coping with is finding out that rap-rock ass-clown Fred Durst still walks among us. And, get out of town, he directed a movie. TMZ reports:

While waiting for their cars, Paxton was asked about the possibility of Durst guest-starring on "Big Love," to which Paxton beamed, "I sure hope so, he'd rock that show." Really?

Then, without any prompting at all, Paxton continued, "Have you seen his movie, 'The Education of Charlie Banks'? It's the real deal."

Oh, wait, Bill Paxton says it’s awesome. Then you know it’s good. You know, that, “Hey, I don’t have herpes just Chlamydia” kind of good. Not the “Yay, Fred Durst is dead” good. Which is the awesomest type of good imaginable. Though to Fred’s credit, I believe now he really can have sex with Britney Spears and not pretend that he did. But even at her lowest would Britney be that dumb? If you’re thinking I’m going to say it depends if Fred Durst has a Bacon Cheeseburger taped to his nads, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!