Aug 26 2009Kate Gosselin to guest host The View. Of course.
While Elisabeth Hasselbeck takes her maternity leave, The View finds itself lacking an opinionated, WASP who thinks birthing children makes them an expert on pretty much everything. Enter Kate Gosselin. According to the AP, The Porcupined One will guest host two days in September.
I have to say this for Kate Gosselin: Years from now, when she has no money to put her kids through college, she'll at least be able to hang her head up high and say "Goddamn, that publicist was worth every penny." These moments will help her soldier through the grim reality of sharing custody with a man who lives in a Porsche between cooking shifts at Hooters. (I'm calling it.)
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Dec 17 2008Lindsay Lohan stalker arrested (Plus things)
Tales of derring-do:
- Lindsay Lohan's crazed stalker was arrested last night after "lunging at her" at an Arizona nightclub. Finally, someone's put Samantha Ronson behind bars before she lesbianizes another fading actress. [E! Online]
- Elisabeth Hasselbeck learns that whining will get you an invite to the Bush's White House Christmas Party. I actually don't blame her because they're gonna tear that mother apart. I got ten bucks Cheney "accidentally" dumps egg-nog on the nuclear launch button. Adios, France! [TMZ]
- Tiffani Amber Thiessen is pregnant with her first child. Is it Zack's? Slater's? That bastard Jeff from The Max? All I know is it wasn't me - which is why I cry myself to sleep every night. I loved you, Kelly Kapowski! [Star]
- Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy did an impromptu a cappella performance in Washington Square Park Monday. Afterward, Pete showed everybody a video of Ashlee Simpson peeing because he loves her so much. [Page Six]
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May 7 2008Elisabeth Hasselbeck should wrestle Ann Coulter in a vat of pudding - unless she hates America
Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one fourth of the clucking you hear when watching The View, decided to show off her sweet bikini-clad post-pregnant bod in the pages of Fitness Magazine. Elisabeth did a bunch of stuff like dieting, exercising and whatever else Republicans do to lose weight. Which I'll assume includes throwing Bibles at poor people. I dunno, I've never been to a gym. Anyway, Rosie O'Donnell is probably ogling these pics and wishing she'd been a little nicer to Elisabeth. Or Rosie could just be eating her typical Wednesday snack that consists of those giant Brontosaurus ribs from the opening credits of The Flintstones. True story.
Apr 18 2008Jenna Jameson on The View? Wow, really?
Thanks to pioneers like Kim Kardashian, porn stars are now considered legitimate guests on The View. This trailblazing led to the most awkward, surreal, WTF interview I've ever seen when Jenna Jameson appeared on yesterday's show (video after the jump). It's almost like inviting a hooker over to your house to meet your mom, grandmom and your uptight Republican sister who's head's about to explode. OMG what if Jesus is watching?! Fortunately, there's the calm watchful eye of Whoopi Goldberg. She doesn't say much, but you know she'll throw them old bitches down if shit gets out of hand. I've seen Sister Act 1 AND 2. Trust me, you don't fuck with the Whoop.
Mar 13 2008Barbara Walters to Kim Kardashian: Why are you famous?
Here's a clip of Kim Kardashian and Bruce Jenner's appearance on The View this morning. It's kind of funny to see Barbara Walters animated corpse cut right through the bullshit and ask Kim why she's famous. Barbara even asked about the sex tape which is always a great conversation to have with an elderly woman. All in all, this interview could've been better. Namely by having Elisabeth Hasselbeck get her conservative freak on with Kim Kardashian. Just have her pretend George Bush is stuck in Kim's dress and Elisabeth has to get him out using a variety of massage oils or else a gay couple will marry. You know, something classy for the daytime audience.
Thanks to Rockers94 who's man enough to wear leather pants and listen to Whitesnake.
May 24 2007Alicia Silverstone snubs Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Watch the top video. Watch the bottom video. Laugh. Or if you don't think you can handle the screeching just skip straight to the bottom video.
