Apr 3 2009Levi Johnston: 'Sarah Palin knew Bristol and I were having sex'
- Levi Johnston tells Tyra Banks Sarah Palin "probably knew" he was having sex with Bristol because they shared a room. Wow. Have you actually spent time with this woman? Because you'd know she thought you were just praying. Or loading an assault rifle. Either one. [Just Jared]
- Britney Spears' stop at a Dallas nightclub ends with employees being threatened if they talk to the press. Great, now we'll never know how many people her vagina killed. But I'm guessing eight. [Radar Online]
- Zach Braff and Dax Shepard are now virtually interchangeable. Who didn't see that coming? Including the blind. [Best Week Ever]
- Ben Affleck taught his daughter Violet how to swear in German. Yeah, well, Britney Spears lets her kids use the car to pick up smokes. Try again, Daredevil. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Hugh Jackman's quasi-visible ass in Wolverine. Now I'm really excited to see this movie! I mean, a guy I know is. The, uh, Writerficial Super. Yeah, him. [Pink is the New Blog]
Aug 18 2008Kristen Bell in a bikini
Here's Kristen Bell allowing Dax Shepard to slather her bikini body with suntan lotion. Yeah, it's only spray-on lotion, but I'm pretty sure this is conclusive evidence that either God doesn't exist or is drunk again. Dax Shepard gets to nail Kristen Bell: HA! Good one, big guy. But, seriously, I'm gonna need those keys...
Jan 2 2008Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard go public
Kristen Bell has been trying to keep her relationship with Dax Shepard out of the public eye. Some say it’s to maintain a sense of privacy. I say it’s out of shame, utter remorse and did I mention shame? Anyway, the two were spotted yesterday being very affectionate on South Beach. I don’t really see the appeal of Dax Shepard, but I guess chicks dig mediocre acting talent coupled with sub-par looks. Awesome. I’m screwed. Now what am I supposed to do with these granite abs? Besides letting supermodels pay me to touch them.
Oct 15 2007Kate Hudson and Dax Shephard break up
If you decide to watch paint peel off the wall instead of reading this post, I won’t be offended. Anyway, it appears Kate Hudson is done with Dax Shephard. NY Daily News reports:
"They weren't working out, and she got bored," says the friend. "She's telling people it's a clean break."
Uh oh, somebody put Dax Shephard on suicide watch. Aw, too soon? No? The timing is just right it’s just that nobody cares about Dax Shephard? You present a solid argument. I stand corrected.
Fun Fact: I sold my soul to the devil in exchange for granite abs and the ability to fire proton torpedoes from my nads. Yep, he was feeling generous that day. Turns out he’s got a thing for Jessica Biel bikini shots – and oddly enough Zac Efron as well. I have no idea what that’s all about.
Aug 13 2007Kate Hudson and Dax Shepard are serious
Kate Hudson and Dax Shepard have been getting it on recently, and apparently they've gotten serious enough that Dax has basically moved into Kate's house. Page Six reports:
"Dax is basically living at her house right now," said our source. While the rest of her family is "a little annoyed," according to our tipster, "Chris is thrilled because now he can have [their 3-year-old son] Ryder whenever he wants ... Kate gets a little more distracted when new men come into her life." Hudson's rep, Brad Cafarelli, told us, "None of what you're speculating here is accurate."
Did you catch that last line? Kate Hudson's rep basically says everything Page Six just reported is completely inaccurate. But instead of tossing the story, Page Six just puts it up anyway, along with the quote telling them how inaccurate they are. This is some incredible journalism we're dealing with here. It takes some award-winning reporting to know a story is false, report it, and in that same story report that you knew it was false but still reported it. And me writing about them reporting about themselves falsely reporting? Oh, man. I'm so confused, but somebody's gonna win a Pulitzer for this.
