Oct 30 2009David Spade: 'Chris Farley's family signed off on Direct TV ad'

David Spade is defending the newest Direct TV ad featuring the late Chris Farley in the infamous "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" scene from Tommy Boy which some found a tad macabre. Spade reportedly pulled in $200,000, but his rep says the Farley family was supportive of the spot, according to Page Six:

Spade's publicist told Page Six she had no comment on whether Spade was paid but added, "This commercial was a joint decision between the Farley family and David to honor Chris' memory." A rep for Direct TV said, "We should look to Chris' family and friends for the ultimate opinion on this subject. They were on board with the concept from the very beginning and throughout the entire process and felt the spot was a great tribute to Chris."

I'm with the Farley family on this one, but only because if the dead can't hawk satellite TV subscriptions what good are they? Bunch of lousy, no good welfare queens if you ask me. "I'm dead. Let me lay in the ground all day." GET A JOB!

Scope Out the Farley Ad After the Jump

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Nov 22 2008Nicollette Sheridan & David Spade: Why not?

Middle-aged? Recently dumped by your respectable-looking musician boyfriend/husband? Don't worry. David Spade's gonna make everything alright. OK! Magazine reports:

The Desperate Housewives star was celebrating her 45th birthday at new L.A. hot spot Luau in Beverly Hills — the same place they were spotted together a few weeks ago at the grand opening — and onlookers tell OK!, "Nicolette and David were full-on making out!"
The duo arrived separately and even started the dinner at separate booths but couldn't resist each other for long! According to witnesses, Spade winked at Sheridan and stood at her side while she blew out the candles on her cake. After that, the two retreated to a booth where they cuddled and kissed.

Is there anyone David Spade hasn't banged? From Heather Locklear to Playboy Bunnies to now Nicollete Sheridan, the guy's penis has been there. Obviously, women find it attractive when a small man makes love to them then vanishes in a "POOF" of green clovers and red balloons.

I should be writing this down...

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Oct 6 2008David Spade 'texted' Heather Locklear after DUI

David Spade, who somehow dated Heather Locklear in 2006 (Damn his hobbit magic!), texted her shortly after her recent DUI arrest to lend his support, according to People:

"I think things get blown out a lot of proportion," said Spade. "She's always solid and always a great person. And I think people understand she's in a tough situation and she does her best."

That's nice. Because right after you get arrested for DUI you want to be reminded you dated David Spade. Jesus, while you're at it, you might as well call her fat then insult her cooking.

Sep 4 2008David Spade is a dad

Remember when David Spade found out he knocked up a Playboy Bunny? I'm kidding. No one does. But that didn't stop a baby girl from popping out of Jillian Grace's vagina making David Spade a first-time daddy and, also, a first-time wage garnishee. People reports:

"David and Jillian have been in close contact throughout her pregnancy and he plans to go see the baby during his first break from shooting Rules of Engagement," Spade's rep, Meredith O'Sullivan, tells PEOPLE.

Hopefully, the lesson learned here is that Hugh Hefner really needs someone on hand tying up tubes at the mansion. Guys like David Spade deserve quality customer service that goes above and beyond simply not laughing at their penis. Which, don't get me wrong, is always appreciated. Or so I hear - from other people. Who aren't me. I'm hung like a spaceship!

Jan 16 2008David Spade might have knocked up Playboy Bunny

Jillian Grace, Miss March 2005, claims David Spade is the father of her unborn child. She claims the two had a relationship that led to her pregnancy. David Spade didn’t deny anything when approached by TMZ:

"I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility."

Of course David Spade didn’t deny anything. Maybe now people will believe him when he says he sleeps with Playboy Bunnies all the time. I have to admit though; if I ever found out I got a girl pregnant, I hope it’s a Playboy model. Mostly so I’ll have a good story to tell my new friends when I mail myself to Canada.

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