Dec 23 2008Danielle Lloyd proves the British have true grasp on meaning of Christmas
Anyone else think Former Miss Britain Danielle Lloyd has the face of a retarded Drew Barrymore? Redundant, I know, and also a trick question. Danielle Lloyd doesn't even have a face. Ha! Can't believe you fell for that.
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Nov 10 2008Danielle Lloyd appreciates the ancient art of breasts and ale
Former Miss England 2004 and British glamour model Danielle Lloyd stopped by Mansion night club in Ireland Saturday night where she displayed my two favorite things in the world. She also drank Guinness. (Hi-YO!) Why can't more American celebrities dress all cleavagey while brandishing a frosty ale? That's just downright patriotic! You see, kids, after Mel Gibson won the Revolutionary War by stabbing British soldiers with Old Glory, Samuel Adams took his first opportunity as a free man to invent beer so that America would rise up and grasp its greatness like so many tasty nachos:
ELIZABETH ADAMS: I'm with child.
SAM ADAMS: What lamentable news. Calamity not withstanding, you've presented an opportunity to test my new elixir. *chugs* Repeat your proclamation, would you, please?
ELIZABETH: I'm with child.
SAM: Curious. I find myself no longer contemplating a perilous ride off a steep precipice. I believe I've done it! *chugs* Fetch my quill and parchment!
ELIZABETH: For what purpose, dear?
SAM: I'm stricken with the immediate need to inform my colleague Thomas Jefferson that he prefers the lustful company of men and there exists a distinct possibility he was sired from my loins.
ELIZABETH: My word, Samuel, you've soiled yourself.
SAM: So I have. Good show!
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Oct 16 2008Danielle Lloyd launches things
Former Miss England Danielle Lloyd launched her new modeling agency Irresistible Talent today in London. I don't really have much more information than that except for BOOBS. It's like your knee deep in comprehensive coverage, isn't it? I know.
Oct 25 2007Danielle Lloyd launches things
English lingerie model Danielle Lloyd braved the cold to launch the new Ski Republic website yesterday in London. Whoever devised this campaign deserves the Nobel Prize – twice. Now, that being said, I catch a lot of flack for posting pics of bleached blondes with fake breasts, but, honestly, how else do you sell ski equipment? If you’ve got a better suggestion than a chick in a bathing suit on top of a tank, I’d love to hear it.
NOTE: All submissions must be in the form of a blonde with giant boobs. Tank mandatory.
