Oct 8 2009Alessandra Ambrosio makes me want to buy bras even though I have a penis and other news
- Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo are back together. [PopEater]
- Daniel Craig photobombs Taylor Swift. [Lainey Gossip]
- Shauna Sand wears clear stripper heels to the supermarket. Of course. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Suri Cruise drinks Pellegrino already? [Just Jared]
- Mariah Carey should just hire Blackwater. [Celebslam]
- Naomi Watts is somehow the "Most Bankable Actress in Hollywood." [PopSugar]
- Zac Efron hates his own movies. [Wonderwall]
- Penelope Cruz > Kim Kardashian. (In regards to asses.) [ICYDK]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Alessandra After the Jump
Sep 28 2009Hugh Jackman & Daniel Craig interrupted by cell phone. Pissiness ensues.
Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig had their performances interrupted in the Broadway play "A Steady Rain" last week when a theatergoer's cell phone went off in the front row. The generally unflappable Hugh actually stops the play and asks the person "Are you gonna get that?" James Bond gets in on the act and this is exactly why I don't go to plays anymore: The actors always try to kick my ass. Listen, I wouldn't take off my shirt and flex in front of the stage if you actually said something interesting. "Wah, being a salesman suck. Let's talk about it for two hours." < My naked torso. Don't fight the science.
Sep 2 2009Daniel Craig isn't so tough
Jumping right into the British talk, current James Bond Daniel Craig is a bit of a poof, according to Page Six:
Craig, 41, has demanded personal security be available to shadow him at all times while his equally famous co-star, Hugh Jackman, hasn't asked for any protection at all, sources told Page Six.
"Everybody thinks it's funny because the truth is, Daniel rarely gets approached by the public in the street and at restaurants -- especially now that he has the huge handlebar moustache for this role," a production source said.
This isn't the first time that Craig -- who's rented a lavish, $38,000-a-month apartment with top security as his safe haven in town -- has been accused of being a wimp. In 2005, he made a splash in London when he was unveiled as the new James Bond on a Royal Marine commando boat -- looking seasick and wearing a life jacket. Craig even admitted the ride had scared "the [bleep] out of me."
His dad, Tim Wroughton-Craig, was forced to jump to his defense following claims the star was scared of guns. He said at the time, "It is all cobblers. Daniel is a hard lad -- you wouldn't want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn't like to call him that to his face. He can look after himself all right."
Wait. Did James Bond's dad just call him a fruit-based dessert/rapist that lurks in alleys with an erection? I'm confused. This is exactly why I stopped watching Guy Ritchie movies. Everything's all masturbating penguins dressed like Mr. Rogers. (See? I can make shit up too.)
Jun 1 2009Miranda Kerr gets nude for Rolling Stone
- Taylor Lautner gets shirtless for New Moon trailer because there's nothing goth kids love more than raw athleticism. No, really. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Vanessa Hudgens might be increasing in hotness. Or that other chick she always hangs out with is looking less pretty. What's her face? Right, Zac Efron. [Celebslam]
- Jon Gosselin claims his female companions on Memorial Day were just family friends. Who he has sex with. No biggie. [I'm Not Obsessed]
- Josh Brolin allegedly caught cheating on Diane Lane. Though, in his defense, maybe if he wasn't the only one consistently bringing home Oscar noms this wouldn't have happened. Just sayin'. [Lainey Gossip]
- Susan Boyle suffered a breakdown and was hospitalized after losing Britain's Got Talent. Yet somehow she still has more brute strength than Adam Lambert. [Allie is Wired]
- Daniel Craig and his torso are now an edible freezer pop - that looks like it's touching itself. You can't make this stuff up. [Just Jared]
May 27 2009Rihanna & Kanye West in 'Paranoid'
- Jessica Simpson is going back to reality TV. This time to travel around the world investigating body images and beauty in other cultures. Ten buck says she ends up at Chili's and thinks it's Mexico. [Lainey Gossip]
- Miley Cyrus' boyfriend Justin Gaston says he wishes he could be a lapdog that's petted and loved all day. -- Seriously, what else does this kid need to do let Billy Ray Cyrus know his daughter is dating a gay man? I thought that was illegal in the South. Or am I thinking about book learning? [The Blemish]
- Winona Ryder admits the biggest challenge in her life was getting over Johnny Depp. Wow. Way to obsess over things for twenty freaking years. Get me in a relationship with that. [ICYDK]
- Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig are starring in a Broadway play together. It's called "Cha-Ching! I Can Almost Hear the Money Flying Out of Every Single Vagina That Just Read This." [Just Jared]
- Carrie Prejean is guest hosting Fox & Friends this week. Somewhere Rush Limbaugh just got an erection. Or at least tried until he remembered he's out of Mexican Viagra and BBQ sauce. Don't ask. [Jezebel]
- Lauren Conrad admits the producers of The Hills forced a reconciliation between her and Heidi. And by forced she meant wrote it in the script that tells her exactly how to look, feel, act and talk. You know, just like real life. [PopSugar]
Apr 30 2009Jennifer Aniston still hates children
- Jennifer Aniston is NOT adopting a baby. No, Angelina would be expecting that. But a dolphin.... [PopSugar]
- Hugh Jackman bought breakfast for 800 Wolverine fans waiting in line in Arizona. See, kids, never having sex does pay off. Free bagels?! That's way better than a vagina! Awww yeah! [ICYDK]
- Paul Abdul apparently still doesn't realized she was duped by Sacha Baron Cohen for his upcoming movie Bruno. She does, however, know that gin is delicious. Yum yum. [Videogum]
- Daniel Craig wearing sweatpants. Hey, sometimes even James Bond feels like a fatty and doesn't want to leave the house. Fortunately, escort services deliver. God save the Queen! [Best Week Ever]
- Madonna gives Guy Ritchie the kids for the entire summer. Then again, that's when she slumbers 10,000 feet below the Earth's crust, and a Wii will only entertain them for so long. [Allie is Wired]
- Sarah Palin vs. Ann Coulter: It's like someone figured out what I think about when I masturbate. Then substituted Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter. [Jezebel]
Dec 28 2008Daniel Craig is attractive, I'm told
Daniel Craig: Sexy Double 0 agent or Sloth from Goonies? Wait. Why not both?
*picks up phone*
Hello, Hollywood? I've done it again. No, trust me, this one's way better than "Martin Luther King, Jr: Kickboxes a Guy from the Future." Sort of.
Nov 7 2008Daniel Craig has lost his mind
Daniel Craig, an outspoken Barack Obama supporter despite not being a U.S. citizen, thinks it might be time for a black James Bond. According to The Scoop:
Craig, the first blond Bond, told the British press, "After Barack Obama's victory, I think we might have reached the moment for a coloured 007."I think the role could easily be played by a black actor, because the character created by Ian Fleming in the '50s has undergone a great deal of evolution and continues to be updated," he said. "I've always been a fan of Obama. The political ideas that have emerged from his speeches seem to me to be genuine."
Look, I'm as open minded as the next guy, but what the hell is Daniel Craig talking about? James Bond isn't black. It's about as simple as that. You can't just go around replacing characters to be progressive. It'd be like having Shaft played by an overweight Mexican woman. What's that? Making a movie about He-Man? Well let's go ahead and cast an Asian guy. Or better yet, how about this watermelon?
