Dec 10 2008Angelina Jolie trying to have more twins (And something about strippers)
Other happenings in the world:
- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are trying "really hard" to have another set of twins. Someone needs to stop letting these two watch TLC before you can't get the paper without tripping over their kids. Dammit, Maddox, my azaleas! [Star]
- Jessica Biel plays a stripper in an upcoming movie. Like blurry pictures of non-naked strippers? Welcome to Boner-town. [The Sun]
- DMX arrested in Miami for skipping court appearance. How do I put this delicately? They have Burger Kings in Canada. Just sayin'. [AP]
- Chace Crawford reportedly dating Taylor Momsen which fulfills his contractual obligation to bang a Gossip Girl co-star and make sure it ends up in the tabloids. Because, really, who doesn't love forced irony? [Page Six]
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Aug 15 2008 DMX must wake up each morning and wonder 'Hmm. What time will I get arrested today?'
DMX must really like getting arrested. In fact, I'm willing to go so far to say he should marry getting arrested. He was picked up yesterday at an Arizona Wal-Mart after he failed to show up for a court hearing on Tuesday for his animal-cruelty and drug-possession case. E! Online reports:
Although DMX's attorney did appear on his client's behalf Tuesday afternoon to provide documentation that his client couldn't make it because he was hospitalized in Miami (he wouldn't say why, though), the judge opted to issue a bench warrant anyway and raise his bond to $25,000.
And just in case DMX's lawyer doesn't have a big enough ulcer, the rapper has another court hearing next week:
"We are in court again next week on other matters, and my hope is we can get the warrant resolved by then and get back on track," he said. "We have some things in the works to get the warrant taken care of. My hope is that we can resolve it without an arrest, but he's been arrested at the airport before, so they obviously have an eye out for him, so I'm not sure."
I'm pretty sure the only place DMX hasn't been arrested is outer space. Even then it's only a matter of time until he's picked up on the Hubble Telescope. And by a matter of time I mean Tuesday.
Jul 21 2008DMX arrested for identity theft
DMX must love getting arrested. He was picked up Saturday at a Phoenix mall on suspicion that he gave a hospital a fake name and social to duck paying for his visit, according to the AP:
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said that when DMX, whose real name is Earl Simmons, went to Scottsdale's Mayo Clinic in April, he used the name "Troy Jones" and failed to pay a $7,500 bill.
DMX finally cashes in the "Ha ha, nobody knows my real name" and wins a pot full of FAIL. And the worst part is, he wasted it on a seven grand hospital bill. Way to shoot for the stars, big guy. You could've at least hustled yourself a helicopter. Or, if you're the practical type, a swimming pool shaped like a robot: "BEEP BOO BOP I'm full of water."
Aug 27 2007DMX is a terrible dog owner
A raid on DMX’s house in Arizona found three dog corpses and several unattended pitbulls outside. A search of the property yielded three canine corpses, one of which “seemed to be burned.” Police also found “a large number of weapons, some drug paraphernalia, and a lot of cars that don't match the license plates.” DMX's lawyer claims the rapper hasn't been to his Arizona home for several months and said in a statement:
“Earl (DMX's real name) had a caretaker, who obviously wasn't taking care. Earl loves those dogs.”
No arrests have been made yet, but what the hell is this? Is DMX taking dog care tips from Michael Vick? What was this caretaker doing that he didn’t notice a dog being cremated? By the sun! I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but Britney Spears takes better care of her own children than this. Slightly. Maybe not. But at least none of her kids have been discovered dead and burned on the lawn yet. Yet.
