May 16 2008Claudia Schiffer stars as TOPLESS CATWOMAN

The latest issue of Vogue Germany features a totally topless Claudia Schiffer. This picture would be unbelievably hot except her nipples appear to be airbrushed out. Unless she suffers from a rare disease where they're invisible. In which case, Claudia, my sincere apologies. I know what it's like to have transparent body parts. Right, invisi-penis?*

Thanks to James, who is totally straight despite the best efforts of this 100% insane PS3 ad.

*The Superficial Writer's penis is, actually, very transparent. Particularly after that Gamma Ray accident when he got really drunk and tried to take a whiz on Bruce Banner. Damn you science!

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Nov 9 2007Claudia Schiffer comes out of retirement

Claudia Schiffer came out of retirement to shoot the new Chanel campaign with famed designer Karl Lagerfeld. The shoot took place over two days in St. Tropez, France. Claudia decided to show these young models how to really wear a see-through dress. With a thong. And no bra. Yeah, take a good look for an hour or so and then realize she used to date David Copperfield. Of course this was a simpler time. Back before the secret codes and private island shenanigans. When all you needed to score a supermodel was a smile, your own prime-time special and a few billion in the bank. It was anyone’s game, really.