Oct 27 2009Joe Francis/Jayde Nicole bar fight: D.A. not filing charges
Joe Francis, Jayde Nicole and Brody Jenner will not face any charges for the August fight at Guys and Dolls in Hollywood that's since spawned into several million civil suits, according to TMZ:
According to the report, the D.A. supports Joe's claims that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation."
In conclusion, the D.A. thought "the interests of justice do not support the filing of criminal charges against any of the three suspects."
Or in non-legalese: By keeping these asshats in the wild, there's a greater chance of them drunkenly murdering each other thus enriching the human gene pool. -- SOLD!
Oct 1 2009Gwen Stefani likes small children to see her bra at the park and other news
- Jude Law's dramatic reading of Lady GaGa's "Poker Face." [PopEater]
- Gwyneth Paltrow gives investment advice to the peasants. Splendid. [Lainey Gossip]
- La Toya Jackson looks like Michael Jackson with breast implants. Where was she during Jesus Juice time? That's what I'm saying. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Kristin Cavallari says Brody Jenner was "very vanilla" in bed. I would've assumed he was more Cookies n' Douche. [Celebslam]
- Reese Witherspoon's chin is getting out of hand. Look, she almost stabbed Paul Rudd! Then who's going to star in every Judd Apatow movie? [PopSugar]
- Rachel Bilson wears jorts. [Just Jared]
- Rose McGowan has ditched Robert Rodriguez. Awesome, now somebody with breasts can play Barbarella as God intended it. [WonderWall]
- Leighton Meester, Blake Lively hasn't made me forget about you. Completely. For the most part. [ICYDK]
Scope Out (16) Pics of Gwen After the Jump
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Aug 28 2009Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair.
So it appears Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole last night then proceed to kick her while she's down, and security footage at Guys and Dolls confirms his story. TMZ reports:
Joe tells us he was hanging out with the General Manager for Guys and Dolls when Jayde Nicole pushed him from behind and poured a drink on him.
Joe says he turned around and pulled her hair in reaction to the attack. Francis says this is the only contact he made with Jayde or Brody the entire time ... and security footage from inside the club shows exactly this.
Joe says Brody had punched him and ripped his shirt off. He says the club's GM then escorted him outside to the parking lot and he lit up a cigarette.
Joe says the next thing he knew, he was on the ground. He was later told Brody had blindsided him.
That's when Francis says the club's security tasered Brody.
Well, it looks like Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole are a bunch of liars, and Joe Francis has proven he couldn't possibly have beaten a woman because it turns out he fights just like one and therefore has a vagina. Glad that's cleared up.
Continue Reading "Joe Francis didn't punch Jayde Nicole. He just pulled her hair."
Aug 28 2009Joe Francis beat up Jayde Nicole
Joe Francis just fucked himself. Apparently the Girls Gone Wild founder decided it'd be a smart idea to beat the shit out out of Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole last night at Guys and Dolls in Hollywood. TMZ reports:
According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says "unrelentingly." Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair, punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed.
Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.
Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground.
Francis left the scene. The cops came but no one was arrested. Jayde tells TMZ she will press charges against Francis. Jayde has a black and blue cheek, her face is swollen, she has a bruised left rib and her lower abdomen is sore. Some of her hair also got pulled out.
Brody has since updated his Twitter to let fans (?) know about the incident:
Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him?
How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl?? Joe Francis is a piece of shit
Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!
RadarOnline reports the Los Angeles Sheriff County Department is currently looking for Francis which shouldn't be too hard provided they follow the trail of discarded T-shirts and punched-out sorority girls.
UPDATE: So Jayde and Brody might have been full of shit.
Jayde Nicole's Lettuce Bikini Shoot
Apr 8 2009Zac Efron does one of those 'Funny or Die' videos. Guess what it falls under.
I've determined Funny or Die makes two types of videos (besides the obvious):
1. Whatever the hell kind of awesome this "leaked" version of Wolverine is.
2. Painfully long skits featuring tons of celebs who might as well be getting blown by the director - such as the above video starring Zac Efron. Because it's always so hilarious seeing stars "act" like they're being candid. I mean, Brody Jenner touting the liberal economic policies of Paul Krugman even though he's a spoiled white rich kid from Orange County? Oh, the delicious irony! Please kill me.
Mar 30 2009Rihanna & Frankie Delgado: Called it
Turns out the source of rumors claiming Rihanna is dating Brody Jenner leech Frankie Delgado is, holy shit, Frankie Delgado. Who saw that coming? Besides me and anyone with the cognizance to realize The Hills is scripted. Page Six reports:
Spies said, "Frankie is total bull[bleep] and is now using her to try and get press on himself. He got her to come to Le Deux and then sold her out so he could see his name in print. He even told people she was dancing on tables -- which is wrong."
Because you know what's always a great thing to do to a girl who just got out of an abusive relationship? Immediately exploit her so you can score chicks at the club. It's like a magical fairy tale come to life. Whee!
Mar 29 2009Rihanna not dating Brody Jenner sycophant
Brody Jenner hanger-on Frankie Delgado is setting the record straight that he's not dating Rihanna who was recently spotted clubbing with Brody's entourage. People reports:
Despite rumors circulating on the Internet, Delgado said he and Rihanna are "just friends" Saturday while attending the grand opening of Wet Republic, the pool party at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.
Delgado, who has starred in MTV's The Hills and Bromance, believes the chatter got started because "she's been out, hanging out, I guess. It's Hollywood, people talk a lot."
Asked how she is doing, his reply was only, "She's good."
Deglado then added, "But if Brody told me I had to date her, I'd do it. I'd totally do it, but not because I'm his bitch or anything. I'm my own man. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make Brody a non-fat latte then send his publicist flowers for spinning a story about me dating Rihanna. -- I mean, wait."
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Mar 27 2009Rihanna still clubbing solo
Seen here at Bar Delux last night, Rihanna has been hitting the clubs hard lately without Chris Brown anywhere in sight. Page Six reports:
The songstress was spotted at Nobu Wednesday night "smiling and flirting" with a group of guys, including Brody Jenner. "She was there having dinner. Her blond, female security guard was there the whole time," said our spy. "Every time Rihanna would go to the bathroom, the guard would go with her. Every time someone came to the table, the bodyguard would stand up. She was like a female James Bond." After the meal, Rihanna joined Jenner's group. "She looked relaxed and happy, like Chris Brown was totally in the past."
Yeesh. First, going back to Chris Brown (temporarily). Then the gun tattoo. Now hanging out with Brody Jenner? What's next, Twittering? -- Okay, too far. My bad. I shouldn't be saying things I can't take back.
