Nov 6 2009Beyonce at the MTV Europe Music Awards
Here's Beyonce performing at the MTV Europe Music Awards last night while wearing an outfit apparently designed to make it look like she has an armadillo for a vagina. But in Beyonce's defense, what else is she going to wear to win over the Lady GaGa crowd? (If you're thinking a giant penis costume complete with Hitler mustache, get out of my head!)
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Oct 6 2009Kristen Bell is still banging that guy and other news
- Nancy Grace lunches on Jon Gosselin's balls. [PopEater]
- Don Draper kicks the shit out of non-fictional men. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kelly Bensimon needs to stop working out. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Paris Hilton will answer the age-old question: Can ghosts get chlamydia? [Just Jared]
- Mel Gibson's DUI has been expunged from his record which proves the Jews don't control every facet of the government after all. Just the police. (Drive carefully, SugarTits.) [Celebslam]
- Gwyneth Paltrow does Paris Fashion Week. [PopSugar]
- Kristen Stewart poses for Allure. [ICYDK]
- Beyonce talks about the Kanye VMA incident and how awesome it was Universal Music. Okay, maybe that last part was implied. Telepathically. [Wonderwall]
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Oct 2 2009Hayden Panettiere wears short shorts and other news
- David Letterman's mistress was apparently a regular on sketches. [PopEater]
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand might be having weird, Britishy sex. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna wears more crazy shit in Paris. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Ashlee Simpson is getting tired of Pete Wentz. It's a good thing she didn't have his baby. Oh, wait. [Celebslam]
- Lauren Conrad won't be acting in the movie adaptation of her book. She only memorized lines for The Hills. [PopSugar]
- Beyonce is Billboard's Woman of the Year. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan might have a twin. [The Blemish]
- Heidi Montag co-hosted The View today and somehow didn't open a portal of dumb consuming us all. Your guess is as good as mine. [Socialite Life]
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Sep 29 2009Taylor Momsen wears short skirts and other news
- Angelina Jolie apparently owns only one dress/bed sheet. [Lainey Gossip]
- Beyonce has her way with Singapore's airspace. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Scott Storch admits Brooke Hogan's music sucks. [Celebslam]
- Rihanna wears weird shit. [PopSugar]
- January Jones is trying to save the sharks? Awesome. Nothing like knowing my right to get goddamn mauled at the beach is being preserved by the woman who made Don Draper sign his soul way. Contracts are his Kryptonite, you freakin' harpie! [Just Jared]
- Brooke Shields apparently posed for naked photos at age 10 which are now being displayed at a London art museum. Uh, they already caught Roman Polanski, guys. You can stop trying to bait him. [PopEater]
- Jon Gosselin wasn't fired by TLC, he'll just appear "less often" on the newly renamed show. The sad pussy train chugs on! [Wonderwall]
- Heather Locklear's first day on the set of Melrose Place doesn't end in a DUI. -- We've been duped. Check her wallet! [ICYDK]
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Sep 14 2009Beyonce is awesome
In a surprisingly classy move for an MTV production, Beyonce won Video of the Year at the VMAs, and instead of giving a speech, brought Taylor Swift on stage to make up for Kanye West's hissy fit which, according to sources, left her crying backstage. So a sincere hats off to Beyonce. In the meantime, do you think you could remind your husband Jay-Z how cool it was when rappers used to shoot each other? Not that I'm trying to perpetuate stereotypes or suggest murdering the guy, but let's say you sort of grazed him. In the mouth.
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May 13 2009Beyonce in a bikini
Here's Beyonce vacationing in Monaco while wearing a bikini under an insanely tall man's shirt. Whoever that guy is, I'm going to kick his ass for impeding my Beyonce viewing. Just as soon as I'm done fitting these stilts with knives. Then, ho ho, it's on like Rambo dong. (Roll with it.)
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May 11 2009Jonathan Rhys Meyers & Donatella Versace?
- Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Donatella Versace? How the fuck does that even hap- Oh, right, he has a drinking problem. In that case, now would be a good time not to sober up. [Lainey Gossip]
- Octomom's upcoming surgery will actually make her more fertile instead of the opposite. Hopefully her surgeons are practicing their sincere "No, really, my hand slipped" faces. [Radar Online]
- Kevin Federline is flat broke despite receiving $20,000/month from Britney Spears. Really? Because K-Fed always had the look of a seasoned investor to me. Or am I thinking of Snuffleupagus again? [Celebslam]
- Beyonce fires somebody in the middle of a song while performing in the Netherlands. I'd say that's gotta be humiliating, but who the fuck knows where the Netherlands are? Oklahoma, maybe? [Just Jared]
- Britney Spears and her agent/rumored boyfriend go on mysterious car ride together. Or at least it was mysterious until they pulled into Wendy's and employees hosed Britney down with Frosty's. Then it all made sense. [Pink is the New Blog]
- Tori Spelling's husband buys her a new ring every year they're married. It reminds her of the first time he proposed to her - in a seedy hotel so his wife couldn't find them. Aww... [I'm Not Obsessed]
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Apr 25 2009Beyonce because why not?
You know, if I was Beyonce I'd probably wear dresses that make my breasts look lopsided too. I mean, hey, you're famous, people think you're beautiful, you've got everything, so why not? Hell, I'd just show up to events in a potato sack. And maybe stuff a carrot down my pants so people thought I had a penis.
