Aug 5 2009Ashley Olsen surprised she didn't end up like Britney
Looking surprisingly less Muppet-like in the September issue of Marie Claire, Ashley Olsen admits she's surprised her child-star years didn't turn her into a barely functional burden of the state. You know, like Britney:
"I look back at the things that we did and the clothes that we wore, and I think, Wow, we really were troupers," says Ashley--although, gazing at some hideous flowered overalls she was put in at age 6 or 7, she has to admit, "I remember really loving those."
What comes across in the photos is the degree to which the girls' lives were engineered. "It was almost like I was in the army," Ashley says. "School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning, do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at 10, you know?" Cutesy, coordinated outfits were just part of the drill. The pressure was intense and the scrutiny even more so -- "That's why I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her."
That's funny. Because I look at Heath Ledger, and I'm surprised he's not alive.
But I see where you're coming from on the whole Britney thing.
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Oct 29 2008Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen sign things
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen signed copies of their new book Influence yesterday at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in New York City yesterday. The twins had a strict set of rules for the event that basically entails them sitting at a table like mute Muppets who can't believe they agreed to this. Here's the entire set of guidelines via Racked.com:
1) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will be with us for a limited time. They will only be signing copies of their book, Influence. They will not be speaking, reading or taking questions.
2) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will NOT sign any memorabilia or product other than Influence. There is a limit of one book per person, and your one book must be purchased here.
3) You will be directed to pay for your book upon entering the store and will be given a receipt for your purchase. Please keep your receipt. You will receive your book at the signing table.
4) Along with your receipt, you will be given a B&N wristband, and then directed to the event space on the 4th floor. You must have a receipt and a wristband to access the 4th floor.
5) Anyone approaching the signing table must have paid for the book and be wearing a B&N wristband. One person, one wristband, one book.
6) You will collect your signed book at the signing table. If you have paid for any additional copies, a staff member will provide you with those before you exit the space.
7) There is no photography allowed. You must put away your camera or cell phone before approaching the signing table. The authors will not pose for photos.
8) If you leave, or the authors leave, before you are able to collect a signed book, you may present your receipt to a cashier for either an unsigned book or a refund. (Refunds only issued within 14 days of receipt.)
9) There will be no extra signed copies available after the authors leave the store. They will not be able to sign for anyone who is not on line. No pre-orders.
Since Mary-Kate and Ashley weren't doing a Q&A, I decided to skip the event and figured I'd post my questions for them to get back to me at a later date. Here goes:
1. Do you ever pull that trick where you take the glass out of a mirror and pretend you're the other one's reflection - then punch her in the face?
2. Not counting John Stamos, has anyone ever called one of you "Michelle" in the heat of passion forcing you to shriek like a vampire bat and fly into the night?
3. What was it like murdering Heath Ledger, and on a scale from one to 10, what'd you think of The Dark Knight?
Looking forward to your answers. Cheers!
Feb 29 2008Olsen Twins asked to pose for Playboy
Hugh Hefner wants the Olsen twins to pose nude for Playboy. Looking at these pictures from God knows when, (Are those two ever together anymore?) I'm now thoroughly convinced that old Hugh is blind as hell. Star has the details:
After striking out when the twins turned 18, Hugh tried again, hoping they would pose for Playboy's June issue to mark their 22nd birthday.
"Hef thinks the twins are every young man's fantasy," an insider tells Star.
Yes, the Olsen twins really are every young man's fantasy. You've truly got your finger on the pulse of today's youth, Hugh Hefner. There's nothing my generation wants to do more than open up an issue of Playboy and immediately want to masturbate with a cheese grater. I mean, seriously? Who spilled the beans?
Thanks to Paul for the tip who, thankfully, doesn't have a wombat twin.
Dec 11 2007Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen parodied by PETA (Hilarity not included)
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s use of fur has severely pissed off PETA. Today they launched a new website named by, I'm guessing, an 8-year-old. It's called “Meet the Trollsen’s," and it lays out the animal lovers hatred for the stick-figured ones:
Some say that Hairy-Kate and Trashley are guilty of offending their fans with some major fashion boo-boos, but here at peta2, we think that's the understatement of the year! The twins' heartless decision to wear fur and include it in their new fashion line, The Row (more like "Death Row"), is worse than a fashion no-no—it's cruelty to animals. The Trollsens have ignored our pleas to stop wearing fur—and have since added horribly ugly fur items to their new clothing line.
The above video answers “yes” to the age-old question of “Can Full House become even more unwatchable?” If you didn’t know who Futureman was before, get ready to earnestly wish you still didn’t. Now excuse me while I write a letter to PETA demanding they stick to ads featuring nude celebrity asses or else I start picking off manatees.
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Nov 14 2007Ashley Olsen brought in for show and tell
Lance Armstrong’s daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. Usually kids bring in things like rocks, frogs or their dad’s porn collection. But his girlfriend? I dunno. Radar reports:
One of the part-eunuch biker's young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more realistic (though slightly less boobtastic) Barbie to her class for observation. Yes, daddy's lady love Ashley Olsen was recently shown and told about at the young girl's Texas school.
"Celebrities do this all the time," the source said.
Wow, I learned a lot from that article. Especially about Lance Armstrong's missing testicle and Ashley Olsen's small boobs. These two will make a great couple, you know, because they lack the necessary body parts to have sex. Which is good. Saves them from an evening of disappointment, crying and, I’ll assume based on Ashley’s outfit, archeology. Or cattle herding. I can’t decide, but I do know it will involve scarfs.
Oct 31 2007Ashley Olsen dating Lance Armstrong
Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were spotted at the Rose Bar in New York Monday night. The two seemed to be really enjoying each other’s company, according to Page Six:
Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m."
Lance, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know what it’s like to keep your body at peak physical shape. Like a well-tuned machine. You push yourself to the limit everyday. And sometimes you just need to relax. Whether that entails taking in a movie, drinking a fine glass of wine or having sex with an anorexic Muppet is your decision. In the meantime, since you bagged yourself an Olsen twin, the Sesame Street people keep calling. They want Kermit back.
Aug 30 2007Ashley Olsen lands provocative role
Ashley Olsen has landed a role in “The Informers” an adaptation of the Bret Easton Ellis novel. The movie also stars Billy Bob Thornton and Kim Basinger, who, up until now, I assumed was dead. Reuters reports on the film’s premise:
Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the script follows seven stories taking course during a week in the life of a movie executive, his wife, his mistress, a rock star, a vampire and a kidnapper. Thornton will play the movie executive, and Basinger his wife. “Superman star Brandon Routh has been cast as the vampire, while Ashley Olsen will play a sexually promiscuous girl.
Okay, so who is Ashley’s character being promiscuous with? Clearly not the vampire because, let’s face it, you can’t suck blood out of a mummy. It has to be a coma patient. A really, really deep into a coma patient. I’m talking this guy will die in about one second. That’s how bad his coma is. But you know, even under those conditions, getting it on with an Olsen twin? I’m just not buying it. Now if Ashley played the vampire, and Brandon Routh played the promiscuous girl, that would be totally believable. I’d think I was watching CNN, that’s how believable it’d be.
Jun 21 2007Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen take cell phones
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen demanded that all guests check their cell phones and BlackBerrys at the door to their 21st birthday party last Friday because they didn't want any illicit pictures ruining their six-figure asking price for exclusive photos. Although I could put up random pictures from an 80-year-old woman's birthday party and you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Except that maybe Mary-Kate was looking a bit more youthful than usual. I'm 99% convinced these two are monsters. Regular cameras probably wouldn't even pick up their picture.
