Nov 16 2009Ashlee Simpson: 'I love Jessica's body.' Keep going...
Ashlee Simpson apparently wants to do her own sister, according to the latest issue of Women's Health:
"My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady."
ASHLEE: What do you want for Christmas this year, Daddy?
JOE: Remember that interview where you said you loved Jessica's body...
ASHLEE: Tee hee. Oh, Daddy.
JOE: *pulls a gun* We don't joke about the Baby Jesus' birthday in this house! Jumping Jacks. NOW!
Continue Reading "Ashlee Simpson: 'I love Jessica's body.' Keep going..."
Nov 3 2009Ashlee Simpson hated by cast of Melrose
While Ashlee Simpson may have brought publicity to the table, the cast of Melrose Place was tired of her diva antics and shit-ass acting skills, according to Fox411:
"Ashlee was kicked off 'Melrose Place' because she was a total diva on set, late all the time, and deeply disliked by fellow cast members," the insider spills. "It created a lot of discord among the cast."
Another big problem, says the snitch?
"She could barely act."
The source says producers desperately wanted Heather Locklear to reprise her role, but couldn't afford her salary demands without cutting someone.
"They basically trimmed the fat and made it possible for Heather to join the show," says the snitch. "Heather is a much bigger name than Ashlee."
HA! That's hilarious. This show is aimed at the 18-24 female demographic and they honestly think Heather Locklear is the bigger name with that crowd? Ashlee's lack of any discernible talent aside, there's no way that's an accurate assumption. Unless Heather's going to Twitter free Edward Cullen iPods out of her vagina in every episode - I have no idea what kids are into these days. - this show's going to be canceled tomorrow. Which is why it's time for The CW to listen to my pitch for a prime-time drama: Erica Durance makes out with Blake Lively - and then a vampire opens a restaurant. (Call me.)
Nov 3 2009Jessica Simpson is a TV critic now
Despite the fact it takes her a week just to read a Dr. Seuss book, Jessica Simpson decided to shitcan the writing on Melrose Place and chastise The CW for firing Ashlee from the show:
CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had bad scripts to work with,but this?thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press
Wait. I hope she's not criticizing the script to The Dukes of Hazzard because that thing was GOLD. In fact, I'll post the entire thing right here just to prove my point:
The Dukes of Hazzard
Scene: ALL OF THEM
Still hot and skinny Jessica Simpson from 2005 walks around in ridiculously short cutoffs while showcasing her stupid awesome breasts.
Some other shit happens. (Not really important.)
ROLL CREDITS.
*sniff* Gets me every time...
Oct 23 2009Ashlee Simpson kicked off Melrose already
The show might have just started, but Ashlee Simpson is already off the CW's reboot of Melrose Place, according to People:
The decision to cut the two actors has been "the original plan going into the development of the show," executive producer Todd Slavkin tells EW. "We felt that once the murder mystery [involving their characters] was resolved, the tone of the show was going to shift ... and [Simpson-Wentz's] character would move on."
The actors' departure comes just a few weeks after original Melrose alum Heather Locklear began filming scenes for upcoming episodes.
Simpson-Wentz and Egglesfield took the news "like professionals," says Slavkin. "Because they knew ahead of time [that leaving was a possibility], it wasn't a complete shock."
So much for the acting careers of the Simpson sisters. Although I hear Papa Joe has written a few scripts with his daughters in mind. One's a re-imagining of Gone with the Wind where everyone's topless on a spaceship while the other's a western that already has a working title of "Tit Fight at the Simpson Corral."
Continue Reading "Ashlee Simpson kicked off Melrose already"
Oct 5 2009Ashlee Simpson's Vegas Pool Party
Ashlee Simpson celebrated her 25th birthday at Wet Republic on Saturday with Pete Wentz and Jessica Simpson in tow. Personally, I'm surprised these pics don't include Jessica palming the entire cake into her mouth after spending an entire day with her increasingly thinner little sister who can actually find acting work. That's a depression sandwich smothered in loneliness gravy. Great, now I'm even talking like her.
Scope Out (20) Pics of Ashlee's Birthday After the Jump
Oct 2 2009Hayden Panettiere wears short shorts and other news
- David Letterman's mistress was apparently a regular on sketches. [PopEater]
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand might be having weird, Britishy sex. [Lainey Gossip]
- Rihanna wears more crazy shit in Paris. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Ashlee Simpson is getting tired of Pete Wentz. It's a good thing she didn't have his baby. Oh, wait. [Celebslam]
- Lauren Conrad won't be acting in the movie adaptation of her book. She only memorized lines for The Hills. [PopSugar]
- Beyonce is Billboard's Woman of the Year. [Just Jared]
- Lindsay Lohan might have a twin. [The Blemish]
- Heidi Montag co-hosted The View today and somehow didn't open a portal of dumb consuming us all. Your guess is as good as mine. [Socialite Life]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Hayden After the Jump
Continue Reading "Hayden Panettiere wears short shorts and other news"
Sep 24 2009Ashlee Simpson walks like an ostrich
Here's Ashlee Simpson leaving the David Hasselhoff and daughter-attended lingerie show she hosted last night, and maybe I've never noticed this before, but what the hell is going on with her neck? It's like she's constantly bobbing it forward in every shot, and oh, wait, she spent the night at her dad's house again, didn't she? Never mind.
Scope Out (12) Pics of Ashlee After the Jump
Sep 23 2009Ashlee Simpson is leggy and other news
- Kanye West can't be having sex with Amber Rose. Just can't be. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Jude Law has a new daughter because apparently paying child support out the ass is his favorite. [PopEater]
- Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz reunite in Boston, and he seems to be giving her the classic Katie Holmes arm grip. You know, the one that reminds her not to show human emotion or Xenu will Klaxon ray them both to death. Yeah, that one. [Lainey Gossip]
- Amy Winehouse randomly shows up at schools and beats up kids now. What took so long? [Just Jared]
- Trevor Donovan must work out. [PopSugar]
- Kevin Federline will appear on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club and I will call that fat bastard "Messiah" if he eats Dustin Diamond. Messiah. [Celebslam]
- Jackson Rathbone was injured on the set of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Must've been all that lame, non-threatening, dry-humping vampire action. Shit will kill you. [WonderWall]
- Drew Barrymore has mommy issues. Oh, yeah, well Mackenzie Phillips' dad stuck his penis in her for 10 years, so maybe quit your bitching. Just a thought. [The Blemish]
Scope Out (12) Pics of Ashlee After the Jump
